Genuine Treasure
by EzraTheBlue
Summary: Luffy and Zoro have a mutual respect for one another, and mutual respect is a good phrase for love. However, nothing is normal for Luffy after consuming the Rubber Fruit. How will this affect their adventure? Slash, Lime, MPreg ZxL. Read and Review!
1. Bom Shi Bom!

Genuine Treasure

Author's Notes: This came from a random idea and it utterly spilled out. I couldn't stop writing, and I really liked the result.

A "Suggested Track" is a song I was listening to while writing the chapter, or a song that gave me an idea for the chapter. If you listen to the song, you may gain some insight to the story, or at least have a little background music that suits the mood.

Requirements for reading: Appreciation for slash; brain.

Read and review!

Chapter 1: Bom Shi Bom

Suggested Track: "I Gotta Feeling," Black Eyed Peas

The galley radio was blasting some cheesy dance music off a defunct Marine long-range radio frequency that had been taken over by some teenagers off the last island they'd left, but Sanji wasn't one to curse a blessing. It was good enough that the radio was working that night. Sanji would also never curse that Robin knew most of the popular dances of the Grand Line, and that she was perfectly willing to teach everybody else.

Nami, Chopper, Robin, Luffy, and Sanji were all lined up behind the kitchen counter, dancing like idiots. Nami, Robin, and Sanji all had mugs of beer encouraging their antics, but Chopper and Luffy didn't need an excuse to dance like fools. Usopp had come in briefly, but gave up after about five minutes in the line, and Zoro was assumed fast asleep leaned against the Going Merry's mast. Robin was teaching them one of the more popular dances to its matching song. It had a heavy beat that nearly shook the floor. It was simple and fun, and Luffy loved it.

It was simple. Robin explained it as she showed them. _Bom shi bom! _The music wiggle to the left four times, to the right four times, right arm out, left hand at crook of right elbow, bend right forearm to smack self in head, torso roll accompanied by appropriate hip wiggle. _Bom shi bom_! The beat of the music almost told you what to do. Slap with the backs of hands, clap with the palms, slap-clap on thighs, slap-clap with the person next to you, and come on, Chopper, keep with the beat! (Poor Chopper had to jump to clap Nami's hands.) Repeat the clap-slap, turn to the left, and then back to the top. _Bom shi bom! _Sure, after a few glasses of ale, it didn't matter what you looked like, but Luffy was a surprisingly good dancer. His smile was wide and childish, and he was having fun. He didn't even notice Zoro stumble in, awoken by the throbbing bass of the radio.

Zoro watched the line dance for a moment, as the five turned to face the wall, and continued to wiggle happily to the music. He did a brief double take, glancing at Luffy's dancing form, and then drained Sanji's beer into his own mouth. He refilled the mug from the keg and continued to stare at the dancers, especially the grinning captain. He always found himself staring at Luffy somehow. The two were equals despite Luffy's position, always evenly matched, and Zoro loved a good match. They made good partners in battle and good friends on deck, but for Zoro, it was much more than satisfaction with an equal. It was a desire for something even he couldn't recognize, a deep respect beyond friendship. It was something he hadn't felt for a long time.

Now, Luffy danced with the rest of the crew, all turning and shaking, smiling like idiots, and Zoro watched the wiry captain rather than the young women. He continued to sip the beer slowly, trying to look like he was casually watching. He had to leave before he was noticed, he knew. It would be much easier to sleep than to defend himself, but he let his mind wander as he watched Luffy. He was brought back to reality by the end of the song, and Robin giving a final direction:

"Hands in the air!" The five dancers waved their hands as the song finished, and Zoro froze in place. The five were facing forward, looking right at Zoro as he refilled the mug again and then emptied it into his mouth. There was silence, as the radio signal went in and out, and the insomniac disc jockeys scrambled to put on a new record. The only noise was that of Zoro guzzling the ale down, as Sanji realized his mug was gone.

"Hey, shitface, give me my beer!" Sanji snapped, holding out his hand and leaning forward, his cigarette dangling from his lower jaw. He quickly dodged back as the mug was thrown directly as his face. Zoro walked towards the galley door, but Luffy reached out and stopped him.

"Hey, Zoro, you wanna dance too?" He asked with a big grin. Zoro gritted his teeth, taken aback.

"I… Yeah. You gotta show me a few steps," Zoro answered, letting the beer give the orders. A new song came on the radio, and Luffy took Zoro by the hands. "I know this, this is a tango!" He grinned widely, and Zoro let Luffy lead him in one of the most awkward tangos anyone could have imagined (outside of Robin trying to dance with Chopper.) Even as Luffy gripped his hands, Zoro's heart was beating with the music.

_Bom-shi-bom-shi-bom…_

Hours passed, and Zoro kept drinking. The almost never-drunk Zoro seemed to be letting his liver fail him. When midnight turned into twilight, and the late night shook hands with the morning hours, Luffy dragged a completely sloshed Zoro over his shoulder to the crow's nest to get some fresh air. "Yer a good fruh… friend, Luffy," Zoro slurred between mouthfuls of drool. Luffy chuckled, as he dumped Zoro onto the floor.

"I do what I can for my crew!" He gave Zoro a glass of water, who drank it thankfully, and sat beside the bed. Zoro grinned stupidly at the sky.

"Yer name is Monkey. Yer a monkey. Yer a, a good monkey." Zoro's mouth no longer had a filter. "I love ya, Luffy." Luffy, suddenly serious, studied Zoro's face for a minute.

"You don't mean that," Luffy chuckled, his face splitting into a grin again.

"Course I do. Yer my best friend, and I, I respect ya, and I love ya." Luffy's face was serious again, as Zoro continued to smile drunkenly. Somewhere in his liquor-addled brain, his conscience was reminding him that he would regret this, but as Luffy planted a firm kiss on Zoro's forehead, he completely ignored it.

"Love you too, Zoro," Luffy chuckled, and flopped down beside him on the bed, barely remembering to take off his shoes. Zoro was briefly stunned out of his stupor, and leaned over to Luffy.

"Wait, d'you mean that?"

"As much as you do," Luffy replied, and he took his hat and placed it over his face. Zoro was no longer tired, and he rolled over on top of the rubber man, and lifted his hat to look into his face.

"I mean it. I love you."

"Your breath smells like beer!" Luffy laughed, rolling onto his front to avoid his first mate's mouth and moving his hat to the ground beside him. His avoidance was no good, as Zoro pulled him back over and forced Luffy into an awkward kiss. Luffy pushed Zoro back, still grinning, and hovered over him. "It's a tango. Let me lead."

The idiotic, lecherous giggle Zoro released translated from the language of drunks into something along the lines of "Why, that sounds like an excellent idea, my good fellow."

Luffy let his tongue do the talking as he kissed Zoro, exploring his mouth and tasting the beer on his teeth. With Zoro occupied, he began to remove the swordsman's clothes, revealing all the old scars on his chest and belly. Luffy was sure he knew the exact moment of each duel where he'd gotten each one, even where they overlapped, from all the time they'd been together. His fingers traced over the long scar from Mihawk, remembering his fear, but forgetting as he continued. Luffy got to Zoro's boxers and stopped, pulling back and panting, out of breath from having his mouth full, and refilled it again. Despite his drunkenness, Zoro was hard, and Luffy wanted to see what Zoro tasted like everywhere. Zoro coughed like he was choking, shocked at the sensation of the rubber man's warm mouth, but he rubbed the back of the smaller man's head, resisting the urge to push it down. After a few moments of tongue-teasing madness, Luffy pulled his head up, looking at Zoro with a wide grin.

"You wanna lead now?"

Zoro didn't have to be asked twice, and he pushed Luffy up against the wall, leaning his round butt towards him and practically tearing his shorts down. He quickly jammed his throbbing erection into the available opening, and it was Luffy's turn to gasp. "Ah, it hurts," Luffy hissed, but he leaned back into Zoro's sloppy thrust. Zoro pulled back, and tried to focus on his target rather than a sweating Luffy looking back at him. He hit the mark, and Luffy let out another gasp. Luffy tried to press into Zoro, and Zoro tried to thrust just enough to not emerge so he wouldn't have to aim again, trying not to think about why he kept drinking. "Faster, faster," Luffy urged him, but Zoro was just too drunk to handle it. He let himself go inside Luffy, holding the smaller man's ribcage and pushing it into him. Luffy gasped, his muscles squeezing against Zoro's member, as he hit a climax of his own. Zoro pulled his cock out a moment later, dropping to the ground next to Luffy. Luffy took off his shirt, revealing the sweat beading on his chest and his own scars. "I'm hot now," he sighed contently, and flopped down next to Zoro.

"You're hot," Zoro repeated quietly, as Luffy stretched one arm over Zoro's chest. "I just hope this is real, Luffy." Luffy didn't respond; he was already asleep against the swordsman's chest.

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End Notes: The "Bom Shi Bom" is a dance I learned working at a day camp over the summer. The original dance song is Israeli and I couldn't find it on YouTube. Seriously, just pick a dance song, and try it yourself. It's pretty fun.

Did you like it? Review.

Do you have a complaint? Review.

Did you get through the chapter? Review, dammit.

Do you want to ever see chapter 2? REVIEW!


	2. Rough

Genuine Treasure

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews, keep 'em coming! This chapter was briefly edited on October 21, 2009.

Requirements for reading: Appreciation for slash; brain.

Read and review!

Oh, and since I forgot before: I don't own anything. Nothings. NOTHINGS!

Chapter 2: Rough

Suggested Track: "Ring of Fire," Social Distortion

Zoro had Luffy pinned to the mast. He wasn't drunk, but he was in a good mood. He did have his cock in something other than his left hand, so it had to be a good day. In fact, it had seemed like every day for the past two months on the open sea had been a pretty good day for Zoro. Whenever he felt the urge, Luffy was there, willing to take him at a glance. As long as their antics were just between them, Luffy would let Zoro do as he would wherever he wanted. The rest of the crew was asleep already, and Zoro was grinning like a wild man as he forced himself into Luffy's tight body and pounded his hips against Luffy's. He couldn't remember at that moment whose idea it was to have sex on the deck, but somebody owed someone else a beer for coming up with it. His arms were wrapped around Luffy's chest, one hand on his gut and the other on his heart, and he could feel his pounding heart with each thrust.

If Zoro was certain of anything, it was that Luffy's love was real. He would never claim to understand Luffy, but he could only imagine Luffy mirrored Zoro's respect for him to the point of adoration. Zoro wanted nothing but to keep Luffy like this- bent at the waist in submission, but in control of every pleasure he experienced. The relationship was balanced on respect, and it worked for them. Zoro was even happy when Luffy was denying him, if only because it meant he got to exercise his power over him.

"Zoro, stop, I can't take it anymore!" Luffy whined, his voice high from restricting his cries of pleasure. Zoro grunted, gritting his teeth, and gave a final thrust as he came into Luffy again. Zoro quickly pulled himself back and began to redress.

"If you're going to shout, we're taking it inside," Zoro told him with a lecherous grin.

"Don't be mean," Luffy chuckled, pulling his pants up and yanking his belt tight. "I'm exhausted."

"You're never tired."

"I am now," Luffy corrected him, and Zoro distinctly noticed his legs wobble and his body stagger across the deck towards the cabin house. Either the boat had just rocked and Zoro hadn't felt it, or Luffy was losing his balance.

"Hey… are you okay?" Zoro straightened Luffy at the shoulders, as his legs shook under the weight of his body. He had never seen Luffy like this, not even after getting his ass handed to him in a fight. Luffy looked up into Zoro's eyes, and grinned. Even his smile, in context with his disheveled hair and clothes, was tired. Zoro readjusted Luffy's hat on his head, as though trying to put his head back on straight. He kissed the younger man's head gently, and half-carried the small man to the crow's nest, which they turned into their private love nest. He took Luffy's clothes off again, but instead of beginning to ravish him again, he laid him down on a blanket they had left and stretched himself beside him. "Luffy, you look kind of sick, you're really pale."

"I'm just tired. You know how to wear me out." Luffy pulled himself a little closer to Zoro, and Zoro shivered as he realized Luffy's body was covered in cold sweat. Something warm seeped across the floor and reached Zoro's leg, and he shuddered to look down and see that Luffy was bleeding heavily from a wound Zoro knew he had opened.

"Oh god," Zoro gasped, scrambling back from him, heart pounding in a panic. "Stay there. Stay there. Chopper!" He threw Luffy over his shoulder, and rushed from the crow's nest down into the storage as fast as his legs could carry them, where Chopper was asleep in walk point. "Chopper! I need you!"

"You need me?!" Chopper squealed eagerly as he jumped up from a dead sleep and directly into brain point. He grabbed his medical bag. "Zoro, where are you hurt?" He immediately began to take Zoro's pulse, all too excited to be needed.

"Not me!" He pulled the reindeer's hoof from his wrist. "The Captain. I was just checking on Luffy, he's in trouble, he's bleeding-" Zoro swallowed hard. "He's bleeding. I don't know- I don't know-" He began to feel nauseous, but Chopper was already looking at the captain.

"Luffy!" Chopper gaped, panicking at the sight of the captain.

"Don't make a big deal out of it, Chopper, I'm not dying or nothing," Luffy chuckled softly. Zoro carefully lay Luffy down on the mat, and Chopper stuffed a thermometer in his mouth and took his pulse.

"Your temperature's high and your heart is racing. The only good news is that I think the bleeding stopped. It was just a little gush. Just a little one. Little." Chopper seemed to be repeating it to comfort himself more than anything. "I mean, there are lots of things that could cause bleeding like that. Lots of things. None of them are good, but if it stopped, that's good."

"What could cause bleeding from _there_, Doctor?" Zoro asked insistently.

"Doctor?!" Chopper squealed, turning pink again, before remembering his place and clearing his throat. "Well, internal organ failure, for starters… Intestinal rupture…" Chopper shuddered. "I mean, I heard that sometimes rough anal sex can cause some bleeding like that, but--" Chopper's wide eyes shot to Zoro, who grinded his teeth.

"Let's forget that option. I don't think there is any rough anal sex in the vicinity of the Captain," Zoro lied. Luffy chuckled a little, closing his eyes again.

"I'm gonna watch him overnight, I'll examine him from top to bottom. Zoro, since you're his first mate, you'll have to be in charge of the ship until I say he's better." Chopper was wearing a smile again, realizing that he now had power over the Captain, even though everyone knew he'd never exploit it. Zoro nodded. "Now, if you'll go, I'll take good care of him," Chopper finished, opening his medical kit again.

"Yeah. You better take good care of him," Zoro said quietly, moving to Luffy's side and rubbing his forehead for a moment. He looked down at the captain for a moment, silently praying, and then left the room to go to the men's cabin with Sanji and Usopp for the first time in months. He'd rarely slept in there before he started having sex with Luffy, and he'd had no reason to start. He usually would fall asleep wherever he and Luffy finished, and Luffy would crawl back to his own cot to avoid suspicion. There was, however, suspicion on this night.

Both of the other men were awake, staring at Zoro. "What's up with Luffy?" Usopp asked urgently.

"I was sleeping on deck and I heard Luffy pass out up there," Zoro lied again. He hated lying, and he'd never had to do it this much in his life. "He's in rough shape."

"Sure hope he's okay by morning. You as substitute Captain? We'll end up on the rocks!" Usopp exclaimed with a sharp laugh.

"This is no time for humor," Zoro muttered, laying on his cot. He folded his hands on his chest, glancing out the porthole at the rocking sea. It tempted his weariness like a cradle, but for once, Zoro couldn't fall asleep.

The next morning, Chopper waited for Zoro on deck. It was the duty of the doctor to report to the Captain, but the way Chopper figured it, since he was reporting on the Captain, he would of course report to the stand-in.

"What's Luffy's condition?" Zoro demanded as he approached the reindeer. He was stopped in his tracks as Robin grabbed his ear.

"Manners, Captain swordsman. Where's our 'good morning'?" Robin reminded him sweetly. Zoro's eye twitched, but he turned to the others.

"Good morning," he muttered, and Robin released his ear. Zoro stopped in front of Chopper and repeated his question. "What's Luffy's condition?"

"W-well, I can't find anything especially wrong with him. I gave him lots of water, and his color's returning, and I don't think he's dying-"

"You don't think?!" Zoro snapped. He didn't have the patience for Chopper's insecurity.

"I know he's not dying! I'm sure he's not dying!" Chopper squeaked. "But since I'm not sure what's wrong with him, I want to get a second opinion at the next island we land on. Someone with better technology. Miss Nami says she spotted land in the distance, so we'll probably make landfall tonight or tomorrow morning as long as the Log Pose doesn't point us another route. Until I know Luffy's perfectly healthy, I want him to rest!"

"Alright," Zoro agreed quietly (to Chopper's surprise), running his hand through his hair. "Stay with him, please. Let me know if anything changes."

"Aye aye!" Chopper chirped, and he scampered back into the cabin.

"Hey Zoro!" Nami called. "Still in charge?"

"For the time being!" Zoro snapped back, shuffling to the bow and taking Luffy's spot on the figurehead. He remembered Kuina; how she, as strong as she had been, had died of a simple injury. Luffy couldn't die just because Zoro had screwed him too hard! He wasn't going to lose another friend over something stupid. He covered his face and tried not to think about it.

Luffy came topside for lunch, against Chopper's pleas, but since he seemed steady on his feet, Zoro allowed him to sit in the galley. Most of the crew were eyeing him nervously; Robin had found out the details of Luffy's "illness" one way or another, and the others speculated from the whispers they had heard between her and Chopper. Luffy seemed completely unfazed, despite his pallor, and was eating contently. Sanji cautiously offered him a third helping, glancing between Chopper and Luffy as though waiting to be stopped. Luffy realized Sanji was holding the plate over his head, and reached for the serving fork. Sanji kicked Luffy's head with the back of his foot.

"Wait 'til you're served!" He snapped, but dodged back as Nami lunged forward.

"Don't hit him! He's sick!" Nami snapped, smacking Sanji upside the head.

"I forgot, my sweet! Force of habit!" He laughed nervously, rubbing his cheek.

"Really, you're all making a big deal out of nothing," Luffy interrupted, as he served himself a slice of meat. "I'm feeling much better!" He grinned widely, and Zoro smirked a bit. He knew when Luffy was faking it, and he wasn't. "Besides that, I'm starving!"

"At least you've got your appetite. If you lost that, then we'd know you were dying," Zoro chuckled, and he took a sip of beer to relax himself. Luffy was okay, he had to be. Whatever had happened was a fluke. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him, Zoro assured himself. Nothing that couldn't easily be fixed.

________________________________________________________________________

End Notes: Did you like it? Review.

Do you have a complaint? Review.

Have any suggestions? Review!

Do you want to ever see chapter 3? REVIEW!


	3. Hell To Pay

Genuine Treasure

Author's Notes: This chapter is where things get a little more odd than usual. If you stop liking what you see, then hit the back button.

In addition, I'd like to take now to mention my personal policy on Japanese terms. I don't use the honorific suffixes such as -chan, -kun, or -san, simply because I'm writing in English. (The one exception will be Nami-swan, because Sanji's cool like that.) I also resist slipping in random Japanese terms such as "mugiwara" or "nakama," because, again, I'm writing in English. I will use Japanese terms for names, but that's just about it.

Read and review!

Requirements for reading: Appreciation for slash/mpreg, brain.

Disclaimer: I still own nothing and nobody, except what I make up as I go along.

Chapter 3: Hell To Pay

When the Going Merry made landfall on a new island, Nami quickly wrote down its name and longitudinal/latitudinal coordinates, and started getting information about it from the locals. Usopp and Chopper went shopping for supplies, Sanji went shopping for food and drink, and Zoro and Robin took Luffy to a proper doctor. Chopper hadn't wanted to go, too ashamed to tell a "real" doctor that he, a blue-nosed reindeer, was a doctor too. Robin went because she would be able to communicate everything the doctor said, so that Chopper could take care of Luffy back on the seas. Zoro went to the office, but got cold feet before entering.

"I'll just wait out here," Zoro decided, leaning against the wall. "Robin, be sure he cooperates."

"I'm fine, Zoro! Don't worry about me one bit!" Luffy chirped, as Robin ushered him in. The door closed behind them, and Luffy took a seat in the waiting room while Robin spoke to the receptionist. It was, thankfully, empty, so Robin was told they'd be seen in just a few minutes. Robin sighed, and took a seat by Luffy.

"So, I first discovered that you and the swordsman were making love throughout the ship about a month ago. For my records, is that about the right time frame?" Robin said frankly. Luffy thought a minute, looking at her. She smiled. "As an archaeologist and historian, I record everything that happens on our ship. History as it happens. Is it just a month, or has it been longer?"

Luffy stared at her, his face very serious, before grinning. "You're falling behind. We've been doing it for more than two months." Robin nodded, a wry smile twisting her lips.

"I'd figured, but I needed confirmation. Well, since you shared information with me, I'll share some with you." Robin looked at him in the face, as he scratched the back of his head. "Luffy, the Devil's Fruit can have some very, very odd effects on those who consume them. Your body, as well as mine, is cursed way out of its natural form, and it'll adapt, in ways, to how it's being used. I've got a bad feeling that whatever's got you ill has something to do with both that and the way the swordsman's been using your body."

"Zoro would never hurt me," Luffy replied, pulling his knees up to his chest.

"Not saying he did. Not intentionally, at least. I just thought you'd like that information," Robin said, looking away from Luffy. Luffy pressed his chin into his knees, wondering what could have happened. The secretary called his name, and he shuffled to the examination room. Robin followed, as Luffy brooded over his lot.

"Luffy, you can call me Doctor Ohana," the doctor said by way of introduction, and he patted a padded table. Luffy hopped onto it and sat with his legs swinging, and Robin took a seat in a chair by the door. "So, can you describe your reason for visiting?"

"My crew made me," Luffy chirped, grinning, but Robin grabbed his cheek and stretched it out. She gave him a mothering look, trying to drive into him the seriousness of the situation.

"Anal bleeding, exhaustion… Luffy, name your other symptoms," Robin urged him. He rolled his eyes a bit.

"Well, I was a little nauseous right after it happened, but yeah, tired and bleeding-butt really covers it."

"I see. And… what were you doing right before you started experiencing the bleeding?" Doctor Ohana's eyebrows seemed to be three inches above his head.

"Having sex," Luffy replied with a blunt grin.

"Oh, I see." Doctor Ohana turned to Robin. "You're his girlfriend?"

"No. His boyfriend waited outside," Robin informed the doctor, pink with embarrassment. Luffy grinned eagerly at the doctor's obvious discomfort, as well as the word Robin had used. He'd never thought of Zoro as his boyfriend!

"Luffy, are you… the man on top, or-"

"I'm the man taking it up the butt," Luffy chirped, without even a hint of a blush.

"I see. And your boyfriend… is he…"

"Absolutely huge in his pants," Luffy finished the sentence with an even bigger grin. Robin was giggling and blushing as the doctor turned deeper and deeper shades of beet red.

"Well, okay, I think I've got a pretty good idea of what your problem is. You've probably got some small ruptures in your intestines and other lower abdominal organs, but since you don't seem to be pouring blood, it's nothing a bit of rest won't cure," Doctor Ohana said, fanning his face with his hands. "But to be safe, I'm going to perform an ultrasound examination on your abdomen to see if there's any major damage."

"Doctor, I thought there was some procedure where you could insert a small camera in the-"

"There is! But we don't have that technology here!" Doctor Ohana, whose head had taken on the hue of a tomato, cut Robin off before she could make any mention of where the camera went. "If you wouldn't mind pulling your shirt up and rolling down the top of your pants, Luffy, we can do this easily." Luffy half-stripped, exposing his flat, smooth torso, and laid himself out on the table so his lower belly was nearest to the doctor. The doctor turned on the ultrasound machine, and spread the cold gel onto Luffy's gut. Robin smiled wryly, nearing the screen.

"This, I must see. Maybe we'll find out where you put all that food." Luffy grinned, sticking his middle out.

"I've always wondered what I looked like inside!" Luffy said cheerfully, and Doctor Ohana chuckled as he pressed the wand to Luffy's abdomen. Luffy and Robin both gawked at the pulsing, shifting masses in Luffy's gut.

"Lower intestines look mostly good, no kinks or major tears visible," Doctor Ohana told Luffy in a reassuring voice. "Kidneys," he announced, as he shifted the wand, first to one side, then the other, to show both organs. "Look normal. Let's see…" Doctor Ohana moved the wand back down towards the pubic bone, but stopped just above it, frowning at the image on the screen. "What's this here?"

"If you don't know what it is, we're all in trouble," Robin sighed.

"No, I know what this is, but I've only ever seen it in _female_ patients. That looks like a uterus," he murmured, voice quaking as he pointed to the shape on the screen, "And that shape inside of it… That looks remarkably like a zygote." Doctor Ohana's blush had turned into a deathly pallor, and Robin's jaw hung open, but Luffy was confused.

"Eh, doc, what's a zygote?"

"That's what they call a fetus before eight weeks of pregnancy, Luffy," Robin whispered, her voice strained with the shock. "See what I told you? You ate the Devil's Fruit, and now you've got hell to pay!"

"Devil's Fruit. That explains it. Those cursed bodies can do anything, no wonder you've gotten yourself pregnant!" Doctor Ohana groaned. "No, no, let's not jump to conclusions." He turned the machine off. "I… I could be seeing it wrong! Here, I need you to urinate in this cup, and I'll need to take blood!" He pushed a plastic cup into Luffy's hand, and got out a syringe and ten small boxes from a cabinet. Luffy swallowed hard, mildly confused at the doctor's sudden panic.

Ten minutes and ten positive urine tests later, Doctor Ohana was tapping his foot impatiently waiting for the blood sample to return. Luffy was grinning like an idiot, one hand on his middle.

"So, doc, how pregnant do you think I am?"

"Not very, not very much at all. The… thing…" It was very obvious he didn't want to call it a baby. "Didn't look much bigger than a blueberry, you can't be more than six or seven weeks along. Listen, if this blood test is positive, I'm going to strongly recommend terminating. I've heard of this sort of thing happening before, and very rarely has it ended well for mother- er, father- and child. In fact, in every single case I've heard of, it ends in a miscarriage by some means, and unless you operate to remove the dead fetus, your body could get infected against itself, because there's no really natural way for it to remove the thing. You could die too."

"Well, I dunno. I'm pretty tough, and any kid of mine's gotta be just as tough as me. We've got a doctor on the ship, and even if he doesn't have all the fancy equipment, he'll be able to take care of me real good," Luffy piped, sounding extraordinarily cheery considering his situation.

"Luffy, don't kid yourself, you're not going to be able to keep a baby alive inside your body, not with all the abuse you put it through!" Robin cried, hands on the back of her head in distress. "God, we're only here because you were bleeding out of something you sure as hell shouldn't be bleeding out of!"

"Actually, that may have been a side effect of the pregnancy," Doctor Ohana mused, as the nurse re-entered with a folder. She eyed Luffy suspiciously, and quickly left. Doctor Ohana read the results, and sighed.

"The blood test is fail proof. You're pregnant. Six weeks. When do you want to terminate? Would you like to let your boyfriend know first, or should I go prepare an operating room right now?"

The discussion spiraled down from there, and Luffy left the doctor's office with a big grin on his face, as Robin rubbed her forehead in exasperation. "I'm glad you let me pay the man, but Luffy, I really think you're making a bad decision here."

"What sort of bad decision?" Zoro emerged from the shade of the alley, taking Luffy by the shoulders and looking the smaller man in the face. "Luffy, are you okay? What happened? What did he say?"

"You're not gonna believe it, Zoro!" Luffy giggled, grinning from ear to ear.

"I'll give you two a moment alone," Robin sighed softly, throwing her hands up in a sort of surrender and walking away. Zoro looked between Luffy and Robin, eyes narrowing.

"Luffy, what's going on?"

"It's a baby, Zoro!" Luffy chirped, pressing both hands on his middle. Zoro stared at the smaller man, stone-faced. "See, my body changed because of the Devil's Fruit, so now it does whatever it wants to do, and because we had lots and lots of sex, I got a baby in me! Why aren't you smiling?" Luffy suddenly stared at the swordsman in confusion. People were usually happy when babies were made, weren't they?

"I'm… I'm glad you told me, Luffy." Zoro sighed heavily and placed his hands on Luffy's shoulders. "Do you want me to be there for support when they take it out?"

"Who said anything about taking it out? The doctor said that too. I don't want to take it out. I'm gonna have a baby!" Luffy patted his middle proudly, beaming as though he'd just found treasure. Zoro didn't look remotely amused.

"Luffy, don't be stupid. We are the last two people on the face of this planet who should be parents."

"But Zoro, you like kids!" Luffy whined, putting his hands on his hips.

"Who ever said I did?! And even if I did, that doesn't mean I want to be a parent!" Zoro snapped, raising his shoulders in tension. "Besides that, how are you going to carry a baby? You're a man! You don't have the body shape!"

"I'm made of rubber, silly. My body will fix itself." Luffy demonstrated by wiggling his hips around.

"That doesn't change the fact that we're not parenting material! You want to be the world's greatest pirate, I want to be the world's greatest swordsman. Those titles essentially cancel out the 'decent parent' title! Luffy, when I joined you, I told you that the second you got in my way of being a swordsman, I would leave." Zoro scowled, and Luffy drew himself up to his full height.

"Are you saying I'm in your way?"

"Luffy, I love you like a madman, but I am not gonna be responsible for a thumb-sucking, milk-barfing, diaper-shitting brat!" Zoro snarled. Luffy gritted his teeth, clenching his fists. He wasn't at all used to Zoro distrusting him or defying him, and he didn't like the words coming out of Zoro's mouth.

"Fine then! Go! I've made my decision, and you've made yours! Get away from me!" Luffy threw a punch at Zoro, who dodged back. Zoro stared at Luffy in angry disbelief, then threw his hands up and walked away.

He would never hit a pregnant woman, there was no way he'd hit a pregnant man, especially one he cared about. He'd give Luffy a few hours to cool off, and then try to talk to him again. For his own sake, he needed to convince him to do the right thing. He swung into the nearest pub and ordered a shot of rum. Maybe he needed to cool off too.

Luffy stormed back towards the docks, where the rest of the crew waited on the ship. Cooling off was not an option.

"Hey, Luffy! Where's Robin and the shitty swordsman?" Sanji called from the deck.

"I don't know about Robin, but the shitty swordsman isn't coming back! Usopp, you're first mate now. We're shoving off without him!" Nami, Sanji, and Usopp looked at one another, and began to whisper between themselves. Luffy took his usual seat on the figurehead, scowling squarely ahead.

"Whatever his health problem is, it's Zoro's fault," Nami declared.

"Maybe he was trying to poison Luffy. Oh man! No wonder he was so broody and hanging over him so much! He wanted to see if it was taking effect!" Usopp gasped.

"That shitty good-for-nothing swordsman. He's been with Luffy for this long, and this is what Luffy gets!" Sanji hissed. "I never trusted the bastard, not for a minute." In their gossip, the crew barely noticed Robin's approach.

"Where's Mr. Swordsman?" Robin asked, as she climbed the ramp to the ship. Luffy shot her a dirty look, and Nami shook her head.

"He's not coming back."

"We're leaving the second we're ready, I don't want him to think for a second he's welcome on this ship anymore!" Luffy folded his arms like a stubborn child, wearing a scowl that could freeze fire. Robin gasped softly, as though she knew what had happened. She rushed to Luffy's side.

"Luffy, did he-"

"He doesn't want me or the baby. He says I'm in his way. I'm not going to be in his way anymore." Now that she was close, Robin could see the tears gathering in his eyes and hear the soul-shredding despair in his soft voice. She patted his back gently.

"I understand, Luffy. Talk to me sometime." She walked away, leaving him alone to sort his feelings out.

An hour later, drunk enough to think straight, Zoro wandered across the island toward the docks. He didn't know what he was going to do, but he knew that, at the very least, he had to talk to Luffy. He looked around for the boat when he reached the docks, scanning for the familiar ram's head mast, but it was gone. Zoro's heart dropped out of his chest, as he realized that Luffy was gone and he was stranded.

He'd made the wrong choice, and he had to live with the hell he had to pay.

________________________________________________________________________

End Notes: As some of you might have guessed, I am a whore for reviews. I live off of feedback, positive or negative, and I love the comments I've been getting so far, so…

Did you like it? Review.

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	4. Gone Merry

Genuine Treasure

Author's Notes: Wow! I'm glad the last chapter got such a positive response! I'm very happy people are starting to read this story, and since I love reviews, my reviewers, and my readers so much, I'm going to respond to some of your reviews!

KoryMisun: The story is actually mostly finished, even though I keep going back to make changes, and it does go over 10 chapters. I think you'll be pleased.

Monika: I shall oblige with the "big tummy." But since I can't draw, you're going to have to use your imagination a little. ^_~

Tanuki-Kurage-Chan: Dude, Zoro totally deserved it. Sanji told Don Krieg that insulting a chef on the sea is equivalent to suicide, since you can't live without food. Just the same, don't piss off the captain, because he decides when to strand your ass on the island. You can feel bad for him (I feel bad for him!), but he brought it on himself.

Modeus: Zoro would be a very cute daddy, wouldn't he? I keep thinking of him and that little girl from where he first met Luffy.

Sho-A0YCupid: The cliffhanger, yes. It's vital to the continued interest of the reader, especially when there's breaks between new material. I like to leave my reader with an incomplete thought or a moment of intrigue, just so they come back.

Poseida Lunar: Yes ma'am! And without further ado!

Disclaimer: I still own nothing. If I did, then I would not be writing fan fiction. I would be inserting myself into the manga and fulfilling Sanji's wildest dreams.

Chapter 4: Gone Merry

After a few hours of moping, Robin forced Luffy to talk to Chopper and tell him the truth about his condition. Chopper was utterly overjoyed at the news of Luffy's pregnancy, but it was very hard for Luffy to tell how the doctor felt with Chopper hugging him around the waist and crying with joy, all while wailing, "I can't believe you did this! How dare you put the whole crew in danger like this! I can't believe you got yourself pregnant- I've heard of it but I've never seen it- you were sleeping with Zoro! This has to be the stupidest thing you've ever done!" Luffy stared at Chopper, wide-eyed and solemn. The reindeer finally relented and hugged Luffy again. "This is so cool! This is going to be so exciting!

"Exciting's not the word, Chopper, this is very risky," Robin explained, hands folded across her chest like a stern mother. Luffy rolled his eyes: he was so tired of hearing about the risks. "You're going to need to check on Luffy a lot to see if the baby is still alive; if he miscarries, you're going to need to operate on him and remove it."

"It's a big if," Luffy muttered, rubbing the scar on his cheek in irritation.

"Mood swings!" Chopper squealed eagerly, and Luffy broke into a smile. "Let me get my stethoscope, I wanna listen to the baby right now!" He whipped out the listening device and a leather case with different attachments, changed the base to a trumpet rather than a bell, and popped the plugs into his ears. He pressed the trumpet to Luffy's mid-belly, shifting it around, and finally stopped near the middle. Chopper's smile was immeasurable, and he quickly put the tubes into Luffy's ears. Luffy listened, and smiled a little wider, taking the chest piece into his own hands and pressing it tight to his stomach. A rapid swishing sound filled his ears, and Luffy's expression showed that he was at peace. "It's your baby's heartbeat, Luffy! As long as I can hear that, your baby is okay!"

"Can I hold onto the stethoscope?" Luffy asked, clutching the tubes in his hands as he removed the earpiece.

"Sure!" Chopper smiled, eyes sparkling. "I've got a few, so you can borrow that one as long as you take care of it! You can listen to the baby's heart whenever you want!"

"That'd be nice, Chopper. That'd be very nice." Luffy squeezed the device in his hands, as though he'd made a new best friend.

Chopper began to give Luffy vitamins and check for the heartbeat every day. The heartbeat never failed to make itself heard. Despite his successes, Luffy refused to tell anybody else on the crew. He asked that Robin and Chopper not speak of his pregnancy to them, and especially not about Zoro. He was doing his best to forget about Zoro himself. He thought that it'd probably be best if, until he was sure the baby would survive until its birth, nobody else knew about it, and nobody had to know that Zoro was the deadbeat father.

The secrecy didn't stop the speculation, and between their misadventures, Nami, Sanji, and Usopp found themselves constantly wondering about Luffy's odd behavior. For the first few weeks since leaving Zoro behind, Luffy was uncharacteristically withdrawn, and Robin wasn't spilling the gossip on why he was upset. Moreover, Sanji was catching Luffy sneaking snacks more often than usual, not to mention stuffing his face at every single meal. He would rush for the head so often it was as though his bladder had shrunk, and, as Usopp noticed, Luffy was getting a little extra chub around the hips a month after Zoro left.

"No matter how much he eats, he used to never gain weight!" Usopp exclaimed, looking at Luffy as he sat on the figurehead, staring forward. None of them could tell, but he was discreetly listening to the sounds inside his stomach with the stethoscope, smiling quietly at the quick, twitching heartbeat.

"I take the licking, but you keep on ticking, little guy," he whispered.

Over the month since discovering his pregnancy, Luffy had been in more than a few fights. Without Zoro's muscle, the scuffles were harder to win, but they always came out on top. Luffy was, however, taking his beatings harder than usual. He did his best to keep his rounder middle from taking the hits, swinging it around to keep dodging, but he wasn't perfect. Every once in a while, he would take a bash to the gut, and his heart would freeze for a minute, quaking at the fingers in fear for his child's life. Every time, he would go back to his cabin and listen to the heartbeat again, sometimes for more than an hour. It made him feel a little better.

A month and a half after first learning of his pregnancy, they landed on an island that seemed relatively peaceful. Chopper told Luffy that he would do good to see a doctor for a sonogram, while he went to the local library for some research. Luffy was fairly reluctant, but Robin insisted.

"We have to look at the baby to be sure it's growing right. Besides, you might be able to see your baby's face."

This was enough to send Luffy, grinning and eager, towards the doctor's office with Robin at his side. They said they were going to explore, and nobody questioned it.

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy, and I'm about three months pregnant," he said by way of introduction to the doctor. This doctor looked at Luffy, utterly bemused.

"Never thought I'd hear that. I assume you're here to terminate?"

"Why does every doctor keep asking that?" Luffy grunted, beginning to scowl. Robin put her hand on the back of his neck, a weak attempt at calming him down.

"We're not here for judgment. He wants a fetal checkup."

The doctor didn't seem interested in banter, and he continually glanced at Luffy with static-filled eyes even as he slid the wand across the rubber man's slightly pouched belly. Luffy focused on the flickering screen with a big smile, watching as the doctor focused on different parts of the baby.

"Surprisingly healthy, Mr. Luffy," he conceded. "Very big, strong heartbeat."

"I want to see its face!" Luffy chirped, reaching for the wand. Robin grabbed his hand.

"Let the doctor do his job," she reminded him, and Luffy stuck his tongue out at her. The doctor looked wearily between Robin and Luffy, and shifted the wand to focus on the fetus' head.

"It doesn't have much of a face yet, but you can see the eyelids, and the mouth, and the ears, and some nose…"

"It's enough of a face for me," Luffy murmured, staring at the image. "I think it's awesome." Robin smiled, as Luffy traced the shapes in the air, trying to memorize it. The doctor sighed a bit.

"He's really committed to going through with this?"

"He is. As far as he can take it," Robin said, as Luffy cleaned the gel off his belly. He glanced at her over his shoulder, silently glad that she was there to speak for him.

"Then you, young man, should take better care of yourself. I see your bruises and scars," the doctor warned, scowling authoritatively. Luffy nodded.

"I'm doing my best to take care of it. It's part of my life goal now!" Luffy grinned widely, hugging his middle with both arms. Robin smiled; it must have been the first time she'd seen a genuine smile on Luffy's face in over a month.

After they left, Luffy went to find Chopper at the library, but Robin went off on her own. She had her own business to attend to.

Every time they'd made berth, Robin sought out the bar closest to the dock, if there was one, for a meeting. This time was no different, and Robin saw a shock of green hair bowed over the bar and a mug of beer.

For six weeks, Zoro had been stowing himself away in secrecy on different boats, trying to catch up with the Going Merry and Luffy. Robin knew, but she wasn't going to tell anybody. They would find out on their own if they cared so much. She sat beside him. "Red wine, please," she ordered, and turned to Zoro. "Enjoying your trip?"

"Shut up," he muttered, sipping his beer. He looked considerably worse for the wear, his clothes ripped and stained, eyes ringed with bags, and a chin coated in stubble. "Just… just tell me how he is."

Zoro had not trusted Robin when she'd joined them in Arabasta, and truthfully, he still did not trust her. However, she had reached out to him because she knew the truth, and now she was the only link he had to the Going Merry. He had to strike a deal with her to try to meet her whenever he docked just so he could try and keep tabs on Luffy. Robin smiled sadly, as she and Zoro each stared into their hands.

"He's perfectly fine. Really took a beating last time we got attacked," Robin informed him gently, as Zoro shivered.

"And… the kid?"

"Alive. Perfectly healthy, utterly glowing. Getting bigger. Just the apple of Luffy's eye." Robin smiled as she received her glass, briefly toasting the bartender. Zoro rubbed his forehead.

"I really want to talk to him again."

"Talk _to_ him? He still won't talk _about_ you. You know how risky this thing is, and you told him you wouldn't support him. Every day, he just sits there, being sure the kid's alive, and you told him he was in your way. Did you even think, for a second, that maybe this was part of your destiny?" Robin crossed her legs and turned her whole body towards Zoro, wearing a sad smile that made Zoro feel like dirt.

"I have now. I've had weeks to think about it. Do you know what the crew's saying?"

"You know what they're saying. They think you tried to kill him. Still don't know what's wrong with him. He really ought to tell them, but it's none of my business."

"You make everything your business," Zoro grumbled, and drained his beer. "Robin, I'm begging you: try and talk to him, at least open him up to the idea of talking to me again. I can't keep holding myself back!" He pounded his fist on the counter. "I know he's here, and it kills me! I just want the chance to talk to him about all this. Damn it, I may not want this kid, but it's my mistake too and I still care for that idiot!" He hung his head, covering his eyes. "And the longer I wait, the more he'll hate me."

"Zoro, no promises, but I'll do what I can. I take this time now to remind you that your situation is entirely your fault and that had you reacted like a rational individual in the first place, you would not be as you are."

"I know," he muttered. "I'm leaving now." He got to his feet and stumbled out the front door, and Robin looked at his tab. She giggled to herself, amused that a man with no money could drink so much, but paid without complaint.

Zoro hated the in-between times: getting onto a ship, hiding for weeks at a time, sneaking food from the galley and fearing being caught every second. Directly after the meeting, he hated knowing that Luffy was somewhere nearby and he couldn't face him. He began to wander towards the market, looking for a gutter he could climb. Maybe he could at least see the man he loved without him seeing him. It would be enough to get him to the next island. He would have given anything for that chance.

"Hey! Shitty swordsman!" Zoro froze as he heard a familiar voice, and pivoted to see Sanji there with a paper sack in his arms, shaking in rage. Zoro put his hands on his hips and looked directly back at the cook. He said nothing, not knowing what he could say. Sanji's legs had never seemed longer than when he strode down the street towards Zoro with a look somewhere between shock and rage on his face.

"Can I help you, fuckface?" Zoro finally snarled, as Sanji put his face close to Zoro's. His expression finally settled on rage, and Zoro was surprised to suddenly get a foot to the face. Zoro rubbed his cheek, as Sanji took stance.

"You jackass, how the hell did you get here?" Sanji demanded, his eyebrows curling more than usual. Zoro spat blood to the side.

"Any way I could," he muttered, and began to walk past Sanji. "I'm leaving."

"No, you aren't! I got questions for you!" Sanji barked, before kicking up one leg and pushing Zoro down onto his front with one foot on his back. He kept his foot there and his groceries under one arm as he bent to look Zoro in the face. "What the hell did you do to Luffy to make him kick you out of the crew?"

"I pissed him off," Zoro muttered, but Sanji dug his heel in.

"It's more than that. You were trying to kill him, weren't you?" Sanji growled, his voice low and dangerous. Zoro managed a choking laugh.

"Is that what you think it was? You sure as hell have a wild imagination. I didn't want to give him his way, Sanji. If anything, what he's doing to himself is what's going to kill him." Sanji frowned at this, and broke the main rule of his combat by kneeling by Zoro and reaching out with one hand to grab Zoro's hair and yank his head up.

"Then what is he doing to himself?" Sanji asked, chewing on the butt of his cigarette furiously, and tried to meet Zoro's eyes.

"He didn't tell you?" Zoro chuckled half-heartedly, casting his eyes down. "I'm not going to tell you. You ask the captain what I did to him."

"Hey, Sanji! Drop him!" Nami called from the side. Zoro glanced around, and realized that there was quite a crowd watching him and Sanji, including Nami and Robin. Sanji looked at Nami, smiled obediently, dropped Zoro's head, and stepped back, leaving a big footprint on his shirt. Zoro pushed himself to his hands and knees, and stood. Nami was about to step forward, but Robin stopped her.

"Alright, deserter," Robin said, in an uncharacteristically firm voice. "We'll spare you this time. Run." Zoro stared between his three ex-crew mates, and pushed his way through the crowd to run towards the docks. Nami and Sanji turned to Robin, bewilderment apparent on their faces.

"Miss Robin, why'd you want to let him go?"

"Truth be told, Mr. Cook," Robin sighed, "I don't know."

After being lost in the massive library for some time, Luffy finally found Chopper, who was poring over several books. "Hey, Doc, find out anything interesting?" He sat in the chair nearest the morphed reindeer, leaning forward with a curious smile.

"Well, information about your kind of condition is pretty sparse, Luffy," Chopper said, scratching his head a bit. "There's only one decently documented case that passed five months of gestation where the man survived, and all other information points to every single male afflicted with your particular condition aborting or dying of an infection related to a failed miscarriage."

"Hmm. I'm gonna be unique!" Luffy grinned. "So, what's the one good case you have?"

"It's from almost six years ago, and there's not too much. These records come from the reports of a ship doctor of a large pirate fleet, where a pirate of lower rank who'd consumed the Chop-Chop Fruit was discovered to be with child." Chopper pulled out one of the books from lower in the pile, showing a photo of a muscular, well-tattooed male body with a bulging belly. The head had been cropped out. "Apparently, on some ships, it's all but custom for pirates of lower rank to be s-s-sex toys for the higher-ranking ones."

"Ohhh," Luffy nodded sagely, though only partially understanding. "What happened?"

"Well, he carried it to about twenty-six weeks, but fell in the water during a gunfight with the Marines. Sank like a hammer. His shipmates managed to pull him out and revive him, but after ten minutes without oxygen, the baby was dead. The ship's doctor removed the fetus." Luffy's eyes went wide, one hand drifting to his middle and the other into his mouth so he could nervously chew a finger.

"Are there any cases- any at all- where the baby lived?"

"None documented. But really, for all we know quite a few men did it but kept it secret. It's really rare, but more common on the Grand Line than other places, common enough that most doctors here will at least know of it, but it hasn't been intensely researched because it's so taboo." Chopper began to close his books. Luffy helped him return them to the shelves, and the pair went back outside. "But you- you can do it! And I'll try to write a report on you! That way, everyone will know that it can be done!"

"What can be done?" Luffy and Chopper looked to see Nami, Sanji, and Robin on the library steps. Sanji had more cigarette butts than usual at his feet, but he repeated his query urgently. "What are you two talking about?"

"Nothin'," Luffy responded after a moment, grinning widely. "Chopper's talkin' about some weird medical stuff he wants to try on me."

"Are you a guinea pig now, Luffy?" Robin teased. She knew she had to play along; the Captain's secrets were his to keep. Luffy nodded brightly.

"I'm definitely a hungry pig. I could go for some meat, Sanji!" He patted his stomach to emphasize, and began to walk off towards the ship. Sanji and Nami both looked at Robin.

"Robin, if you know something we don't, now would be a good time to tell us," Nami urged quietly.

"Miss Nami, I assure you, if I have any secrets, I'm keeping them. However, I think there are some secrets you should keep from him. For his own good." Robin winked as she passed them, following Luffy. Chopper glanced nervously between Nami and Sanji, laughing apprehensively, and then scampering down the street after the others. Nami looked at Sanji with a curious expression and a thoughtful smile.

"Something's going on here, Sanji. We've gotta let our 'first mate' know and investigate somehow."

The idiotic giggle Sanji emitted translated from the language of the smitten to "I completely agree in every way."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

End Notes:

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	5. The Captain, In Dire Need

-1Genuine Treasure

Author's Notes: This week's chapter has two suggested tracks! Basically, the way it works is that the first track listed is for the first part of the chapter, and the second track is for the second part. In the cases of these songs, I'll recommend the parts where I was hearing them.

"From My Own True Love;" begin at the paragraph that opens with, "Four weeks passed."

"Devil's Dance Floor;" recommended from the paragraph beginning, "Where the hell is he?"

Now, to my beloved reviewers!

Monika- Aww, don't hate Sanji. He and the crew are just concerned about Luffy. That idiot has no idea what he's doing. I hope Sanji redeems himself a bit in this chapter!

Poseida Lunar- It's nice to feel loved. -^_^- And I do try to keep the characters in canon. I like to think you could just slip this story in with the manga. (It's supposed to be happening between the events at Alabasta and prior to Skypiea, just for reference!)

Randomstrike- Glad you're enjoying!

And a message to all those who have added this story to their alerts: THANK YOU!

Disclaimer: I don't own. Don't tell Oda-sensei what I'm doing!

Chapter 5: The Captain, in Dire Need

Suggested Tracks: "From My Own True Love (Lost At Sea)," The Decemberists; "Devil's Dance Floor," Flogging Molly

"Okay, Luffy, take off your shirt!" Chopper requested with an encouraging smile. Luffy stripped his shirt off, revealing his tight chest and the small bulge on his waistline. Chopper suggested that if he were to document Luffy's gestation, it would be better if he had pictures, and Luffy couldn't help but agree. As Luffy started posing, Chopper giggled at the captain's hammy act. "No, no, no, just a regular photo. Facing forward, arms lifted straight out from your shoulders."

Chopper stood on a chair, and Luffy smiled big as the camera flashed. The film slid from the bottom, and Chopper gave it a bit of a shake and held it up to the light. "Yeah, this will work!" He jumped onto another chair and pinned it to the storage wall, and put a label under it: "12 Weeks." Luffy looked at himself, and mirrored the photograph with a grin.

"I can see the baby!" He laughed, pointing at his stomach in the picture. "Hey, little guy, that's you!" He looked down at his middle, prodding it. Chopper giggled. Luffy seemed so animated. He looked up at the ceiling, wondering if Robin was done with Usopp, Nami, and Sanji on the upper deck.

The four were gathered around the galley table. "So, is that it?" Sanji hissed, cigarette smoke pouring out between his teeth. Usopp and Nami were dead silent, leaning forward on the table to listen closely, and Robin nodded as she sat back in her chair.

"Yeah. Luffy and Zoro were in love. Like, really in love. Like, having sex on nearly every flat surface of this ship in love." Usopp, Nami, and Sanji immediately shoved their chairs back a foot from the table. Robin shrugged a bit. "And hid it really well, right down to cleaning up after themselves."

"Why wouldn't they tell us, then? None of us would judge them harshly," Usopp remarked, folding his arms.

"Cause Zoro's such a manly man, he wouldn't want us to think he was any weaker for being with a man," Sanji grumbled, scratching the back of his head. "Not that I care. As long as they don't hit on me. Less competition all around. If that's what made them happy, good on 'em."

"Maybe they just didn't think we needed to know. And Sanji, Zoro and Luffy are just about the least sexual men I've come across, I imagine they only have eyes for each other. So, you think their separation is an extended lover's quarrel?" Nami said, looking between the other three. Robin said nothing, but Sanji and Usopp nodded.

"No doubt, Luffy did something stupid, and Zoro got mad, and then they got in a fight, and Zoro went off. Luffy abandoned him in the heat of his anger, and here we are." Usopp paused to grin. "And it has to be an extended quarrel, because everything on Luffy extends!"

There was no laughter.

"Speaking of which, I have to wonder what sex with the rubber man would be like," Nami mused, tapping her chin in thought. "I mean, he can stretch himself, but I wonder if he can stretch _all_ of himself…" Sanji's jaw dropped, and he laced his fingers in devious thought.

"I'm gonna ask him. Depending on his answer, I might need to become a rubber man myself!"

Chopper, on the deck below, heard the resounding slap, even over Luffy's continued babble to his baby about the picture. Robin left the trio to keep talking and arguing about their captain's sex life. She would let them believe what they wanted.

Days passed, and Chopper requested that Luffy have his photograph taken every week in addition to daily checks for life. Luffy was willing to do it more often, and Chopper laughed whenever he goofed around before each photograph. He was starting to develop a bit quicker, and his stomach was getting progressively larger. Thankfully, due to the Devil Fruit's curse Luffy's clothes were stretching as his body did, comfortable when not snug around his ever-thicker waist. However, the change in his clothes attracted attention from his crewmates, but none of them complained. The crew was now chalking his weight up to stress from his breakup.

"As much as he eats normally, he's probably eating more because of how upset he is," Nami suggested sympathetically to Usopp. "It's not like it's getting in his way. He even looks okay with a little chub. I bet he'll even figure out how to use it to his advantage. That's what he's good at!"

Despite the visible changes in his body, Luffy seemed to be having no major symptoms, only occasional exhaustion. Even cravings were minor, and they weren't too odd, but when Luffy did have them, they were extreme. More than once, Sanji had to chase Luffy out of the kitchen as he left, who used his shirt to carry bell peppers and stow them away in his cabin. Somehow, the bitter capsaicin and waxy texture, which he hadn't liked as a child, gave him some comfort.

Four weeks passed from the day Sanji and Nami saw Zoro, and Robin had continued to meet him when they landed on a civilized island. Zoro was being more careful about not getting caught, and Robin chose to reward him in her own special way. She convinced Chopper to give her one of the extra photos he had taken of Luffy, and gave it to Zoro. Zoro took it in his hands as though it were more precious than money, food, water, or alcohol, and scrutinized the details of it. He could see the muscles on his arms and the healthy bulge at his waist, and the big smile on his face as he pressed his hands to his middle. Zoro kept it tucked in his belt so he could look at it whenever he wanted, but he knew that Robin's present was more of a torment over his absence than a reward for staying away.

"Tell me you've talked to him, Robin. Tell me you've tried," he begged her. Robin sighed.

"I have tried, Zoro. Every time someone even says your name or sounds like they're starting to say it, I see his face change. It makes him sad or angry, depending on the context. I don't think he'll ever really forgive you. Zoro, I'm starting to think that you might be best off just approaching him."

"I can't do that," Zoro muttered. "I can't take that risk." Robin chuckled.

"You're too headstrong to admit you're wrong, huh? I don't blame you. From what I hear, you've never really been the type." Robin left Zoro there, and he continued to meditate on his situation. He knew he was in ruins; he knew that whatever he did, he probably would never get back into Luffy's heart.

One evening as they sailed, Sanji was awoken by a strange noise on the deck. He had fallen asleep in the galley, listening to the crackling radio (which played static at this distance from land), but was lured outside by muffled grunts. He shuffled from the cabin house to the deck, where Luffy was leaned against the mast, his hands folded over his forehead and his legs spread in a firm stance. His body was twitching, and he was gasping and coughing. Sanji cautiously approached Luffy, and put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey… hey, Luffy? What are you doing out here? You should be asleep."

"I can't," Luffy panted softly, stomping one foot against the deck. Tears were running down his face, vanishing as fast as he could rub them away. "I'm hurting, Sanji, I'm hurting real bad-"

"I'll get Chopper. Dammit, this must be Zoro's fault," Sanji hissed, but Luffy grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"It is Zoro's fault," Luffy muttered. "But I don't need Chopper. I… I need _sex_, Sanji. I need it so bad it _hurts_." Sanji stepped back from Luffy, and Luffy looked over his shoulder, knowing what he'd admitted. "I'm just trying to remember the last time I got it. It was _good_, and I _liked_ it, and I was happy, and then Zoro left me!" Luffy kicked the mast in frustration, and Sanji simply gaped. He'd never expected Luffy to admit to his sexual relationship with Zoro; to him, Luffy was the least sexual person in the world. "Sanji, you don't want to listen to me complain. I'll be okay, really." He managed a grin, and then groaned to himself. Sanji chewed the end of his cigarette.

"Uh, Luffy, this might not be healthy. I've never been so down and desperate it hurt. I mean, I can't even think of the last time I got some, but I'm not aching…"

"I don't know what it is, but something hurts, and I want to get _laid_," Luffy grumbled, digging his fingers into the wood. "I hate it. It's… Damn it, I miss Zoro!" He pounded his fist into the mast again, making the rigging shake. "I hate that he left, and I hate that I miss him!"

"Come on, Luffy, it ain't so bad. I mean, I've lost lots of friends, and god knows lots of ladies have left me," Sanji tried to comfort Luffy, and he sat down beside him and nervously wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Luffy didn't react to his touch at all. "I know you and Zoro were close for a long time, but, hey, sometimes things just don't work. You'll meet someone new, easy, and he or she will take care of you." Luffy whimpered at these words.

"I just don't think I want anybody else, Sanji."

"Luffy, I gotta ask, why'd you break up in the first place?" Sanji looked at the smaller man, as he continued to shiver in pain. Luffy didn't respond, but approaching footsteps ended the conversation.

"Oh, Luffy," Robin called as she appeared in the cabin house door. Sanji rose as Robin slinked across the deck, grinning at the opportunity to appeal to her.

"I just found him like this, I don't know why he's upset but it's not my fault."

"You should both be in bed," Robin said firmly. Sanji's lecherous grin widened, and Luffy chuckled a bit.

"Don't say that in front of Sanji, he won't know which bed to go to."

"You're one to talk," Sanji snickered, ribbing Luffy. Luffy smirked wearily, but his hands were still twitching.

"It's probably just as well that you're awake; Nami was just going to go get you. Both of you, go get out the emergency supplies. I think Nami said something about a rainstorm." Robin ushered the two men towards the cabin house, but stopped Luffy. "Captain, wait." Luffy looked up at her, with his eyes still wide and teary. "What's wrong?"

"I miss Zoro, Robin. I really want him back, or just to talk to him," Luffy mumbled, slouching sadly and pressing his hands to his belly. Robin stared at him for a moment, and then gave him a tender, motherly hug. She felt slightly uncomfortable, but she pitied the man so much she couldn't stop herself.

"Just be patient, Luffy. The opportunity will arise." There was a thunder crash in the distance, and both Robin and Luffy quickly went under deck to prepare. Usopp and Nami were woken up, and Sanji brought up ropes. Luffy took the wheel, Usopp and Sanji got ready to control the sails, and Nami kept an eye on the storm and the winds. Chopper was in heavy point, ready at the rudder and waiting for Nami's directions. Robin stayed under, using flowering hands to assist her crewmates where they needed it. As they entered the pouring rain and the waves began to crash against the hull, Luffy felt himself nearly go deaf from the panic.

His body ached from the twisting in his gut, hands sore from masturbating, tired from reliving his last good orgasm, and anxious with fear. The waves were rough, even as he held the wheel steady to try and control the boat, and he felt awful dread. The one nearly-successful Devil's Fruit pregnancy had ended when the "mother" fell into the water and nearly drowned, letting the child drown first. He didn't want to lose the baby. It was all he had left of Zoro, and he already loved the bastard child.

"Luffy, focus!" Nami shouted, and Luffy snapped back to reality. Usopp and Sanji were pulling the sails against the wind, trying to keep it from sending the ship sideways. Luffy spun the wheel to match their direction, and the ship yanked itself straight and caught the gusts forward. Water still poured against their faces, and as the wind puffed up another massive blast, Usopp and Sanji changed the directions of the sails to try and brace the ship. The boat rocked in the strong waves, Luffy turned the wheel to catch them with the rudder and keep the ship from tipping over. His heart pounded as he saw the water. He would drown and there would be nobody to save him or the baby.

"We gotta make it through this!" Luffy shouted, and Usopp shifted his sail again to catch the breeze, and they found themselves out of the choppy waters. The sky still bled rain over them, making Luffy feel like he would drown standing on deck, but as Sanji and Usopp tied the sails back into position, the crew could breathe a sigh of relief. Nami confirmed their hopes:

"It looks like we're out of the worst of it. We should stay on to be sure, but we made it. That could have been so much worse!" Nami sighed with relief, and Luffy sank to the deck behind the wheel, cupping his belly protectively.

"Alright, little guy," he whispered. "We're gonna be okay tonight." He pressed his palms into his flesh, and grinned. He could feel something in his belly, like a butterfly flapping its wings or the ticking of the second hand on a watch. Through his wet shirt and rubbery skin, he could feel his baby's first movements.

The next island they landed on, Luffy reached out to Zoro. He left a note on the public message board reading simply:

"Dear Daddy,

I miss you.

Monkey."

He stood in front of the town square corkboard, rereading the message to himself as though he wanted to be sure it was vague enough that nobody else understood it but specific enough that Zoro would. Robin stood behind him.

"You think he'll find it, Luffy?" She asked in a hushed voice. Luffy thought about it for a moment.

"I know he will, and if he doesn't like what it says, then I don't care," Luffy replied, before walking away to let the passersby see his plea. Robin watched him go, and removed the note before going to meet Zoro. She found him in the bar, already running up a tab. Though Zoro had never shown signs of drunkenness before, it seemed that the months spent living in poor conditions was gradually weakening his liver to the copious amounts of alcohol he was consuming. He was staring at the photograph of Luffy and drinking sake from the bottle like it was keeping him alive or making the image real. Robin sat by him, and put the note down for him to read.

"He needs you, Zoro. He was crying for want of you last night." Zoro looked the note over once, and hissed to himself through his teeth.

"Where the hell is he? I want to talk to him right now." Zoro pushed himself to his feet, drink still in hand.

"Fleur de floor," Robin said softly, and one hand sprouted from the floor and grabbed Zoro's ankle. He, drunk, stumbled and collapsed to the ground, spilling the bottle's contents on his chest. "Do you really think that's a good idea right now? You're beyond rational thought, let alone talking in your state." She leaned over him, staring down into him. He grunted, wondering why there were three of her. He shook it off quickly as her Devil's Fruit ability in action again.

"I've been more drunk than this. I'm going," he muttered, and used her shoulder to yank himself back to prone and pushed himself to a wobbly stand. He weaved out the door, and Robin sighed, turning to the bartender to pay the tab as usual. The bartender cocked one eyebrow in confusion.

"Is that idiot about to try and talk to an ex? Only one of two things are gonna happen when you're that drunk."

Zoro stumbled his way to the docks. Either Zoro's vision was going from the alcohol, or it was late at night. The crew wouldn't be wandering the island at this time of night, they would either be enjoying a party or asleep. Zoro didn't think Luffy would be stupid enough to go for the grog, so he would be at the ship. His drunken logic proved right, and Zoro could see Luffy sitting on the ram's head as always, crosslegged and hunched over in thought. Zoro edged closer, standing on the dock below and squinting at him. Now he could see Luffy was wearing a stethoscope and pressing the chest piece to his belly. He was smiling affectionately, rubbing his stretched flesh a bit. It was the first time he'd seen Luffy in over two months, and he froze.

Luffy looked so peaceful, so content. It was an unfamiliar look for him, but Zoro liked it. He looked soft. Any and all thoughts of talk were gone. Zoro grabbed the rope tying the ship to the dock and climbed his way up. Luffy turned around as Zoro poured himself onto the deck, and stood up, legs wobbling. Luffy narrowed his eyes, sliding to the deck and standing to face the swordsman.

"What the hell brought you here?" Luffy growled, the scowl coming back to his face. He could smell the liquor on him from ten feet away, and he found that he'd changed his mind on wanting to talk to Zoro. He didn't want to talk to Zoro when he was in this state. Zoro, however, would not be refused.

"I'm your first mate, Luffy. I'm here because I want to be." Zoro advanced on Luffy, his body already reacting. In his head, he could hear dance music, and he seemed to see Luffy dancing. This was not at all the case, as Luffy kept his hands balled into fists, his body rigid and shaking with rage.

"You're not my first mate, I don't want you on my crew, and I want you off my ship! I don't want you anywhere near me!"

"You weren't saying that yesterday, were you?" Zoro smirked sloppily, as Luffy's eyes widened in shock.

"You've been talking to Robin." Luffy's scowl deepened again. "She's wrong, she's lying, and I want you to get the hell away!"

"No, no way, I finally found you, and I want you," Zoro slurred, taking another sloppy step towards the captain. Luffy flinched and stepped back.

"What are you talking about?"

Zoro had completely forgotten his purpose at the sight of Luffy in the flesh; his own wild flesh had interrupted his thoughts. His cock was hard, and his hands twitched, ready to grope and grab soft, rubbery skin. He bull-rushed Luffy, pinning him against the bent post of the figurehead. "You know you want me as bad as I want you," Zoro slobbered, planting wet, sloppy kisses down Luffy's neck.

"No, Zoro, stop, stop!" Luffy moaned, pushing Zoro's head back. Zoro simply laughed, and started to chew Luffy's earlobe. Deep in his chest, his heart pounded and began to tense, and his libido was begging him to just take him as he was, but he knew that he would regret it if he did. "No, stop, no!" Zoro bit down on Luffy's collarbone, before he reached and grabbed the stethoscope from around Luffy's neck and dropped it to the ground beside them. Luffy was brought back from his daze at the clatter of the heavy chest piece on the wood. "Don't! Don't damage that, it's not mine, and I need it!"

"Quit sayin' no, stop, and don't, or I'm gonna think you don't want this," Zoro growled dangerously, grinding his crotch against Luffy's leg.

"Zoro!" Luffy growled, feeling his own uncontrollable arousal rising. "I- I- what about the baby, Zoro? This might not be good for the baby!"

"What baby? Who gives a shit about the baby?" Zoro muttered, placing his hands on Luffy's shoulders and starting to force him around, but Luffy lifted his knee directly into Zoro's crotch. Zoro grunted and fell back in pain, clutching his sore testicles and moaning. Luffy lifted him over his head and tossed the drunk man onto the docks, right at Robin's feet. Two hands had sprung up from the deck, ready to grab and pull Zoro off of Luffy, but she hadn't been quite fast enough. He leaned over the side to look at her.

"I don't want you to talk to that pig anymore either, Robin! He's never gonna change!" With that, Luffy vanished into the cabin house with his stethoscope and erection. Robin knelt down by Zoro.

"Maybe you should try talking to him when you're capable of talking, swordsman," Robin informed him coolly, and walked away, leaving the groaning man there. She sighed to herself as she climbed the ramp to the ship. "He really does need you, you know. You do need him, Luffy."

________________________________________________________________________

End Notes: Bad Zoro. Bad, naughty, bad, bad Zoro.

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	6. Rediscovery

**Genuine Treasure**

Author's Notes: Thanks to all my reviewers, you make it a reward to check my e-mail! I've got some questions for you, so read on to the End Notes!

Disclaimer: I still own nothing. I'd like some Ace, though.

**Chapter 6: Rediscovery**

Suggested Track: "History Sticks to Your Feet," Modest Mouse; "Raincoat Song," The Decemberists

"He turned up last night," was all Robin had told them when they asked about the look of pure rage on Luffy's face. Usopp, Nami, and Sanji were left to speculate while Chopper tried hard to look like he knew nothing and had nothing to say. Failing this, he hid himself away in the storage and avoided the others while they waited in the harbor for the Log Pose to reset. Sanji became fixated on finding Zoro after he saw just how angry Luffy had looked on awakening that morning.

"If he's giving Luffy that much trouble, I'm gonna give him trouble!" Sanji had snarled before he left. Luffy, angry-eyed and glaring, hadn't objected, and neither Nami and Usopp had wanted to point out who Luffy was glaring at. Both had noticed that Luffy's hateful eyes were fixed on Robin.

"Robin, what did Zoro do?" Nami asked quietly.

"Don't say his goddamn name," Luffy hissed before Robin could answer. "I don't want anybody to talk to him, and I don't want to hear anything about that shit-headed pig ever again!" Luffy's bitter gaze narrowed as he stared at Robin, and Robin looked away from him as he stormed from the galley without eating a bite of his breakfast.

There was no more talk of Zoro, and if there was any, Luffy certainly didn't hear it. They were too afraid of what Luffy would do if he did.

The voyage to the next civilized island was a long one, Nami had found out from her research, and they would find themselves in terrible doldrums unless they were extremely lucky. Of course, luck was so rarely with them lately. None of them considered themselves as leading a charmed life, and there was no reason for that to change now. After two relatively easy weeks at sea, they hit dead air. Every man and woman had to take shifts rowing with long oars to try and move them out of the doldrums. Nami suggested that, according to her records and predictions, there would be a strong breeze or current about two hundred miles south while the Log Pose pointed at the next island to the southwest, and since Nami was almost never wrong, they were rowing south-of-southwest to try and catch a breeze. Four would row on two-hour shifts while two would rest for one hour, staggering shifts to ensure there were always four on the oars.

Chopper chose to utilize a Rumble Ball every once in a while to use his arm point, and rowed as much as he could to get them moving again, but he had to keep an eye on Luffy. The crew first started to worry about him when he didn't speak to Robin at all for several days. He did begin to speak to her again after some time, but it was still stiff and uncomfortable between them. His attitude was still upbeat and cheerful, but his actions were painful to watch.

"Nami, you can break longer," Luffy was heard to say. The first time she heard it, Nami turned from her post at the mast, and paused in rubbing her sore arms.

"What's that?"

"You can stay on break longer. I'll keep rowing for you."

The same act was repeated for Sanji, Usopp, and Chopper. They would get doubled breaks and return when Luffy's next reliever went on break. However, Luffy never took a reliever, never let go of his oar, and kept his eyes dark and focused. He was only removed at all-ship breaks, such as mealtime or lights out. There was only one other incident that got him pulled from his post.

"Luffy, it's your turn for break," Sanji muttered to him out of habit as he passed Luffy and pulled off the oven mitts he'd been wearing to protect his hands. Luffy only grunted in response, and Sanji had to stop and look at him. He realized that there was no color in Luffy's face, and his head was vaguely nodding with each motion. "Hey, Luffy, Luffy!" Sanji rapped on Luffy's head with his heel, but he only shuddered at the gentle blow. His whole body began to wiggle like a gelatin mold, and he stopped rowing mid-motion. The cigarette fell from Sanji's lips. "Doc Chopper!" Chopper glanced around, and immediately jumped from his seat towards Luffy. He pulled Luffy from the bench and laid him flat on the deck. Luffy's eyes rolled up in his head, and his whole body began to tremor like he was in his own private earthquake.

"He's having a seizure!" Chopper wailed. "Is there a doctor in the house?!"

Luffy was forced to rest, all but tied to his cot by Robin, but he got back on the oars as soon as she let him out of bed. Despite continuing to gain weight in his middle, the excessive work was starting to drain his body. His face was thin, and his overall body was losing mass. After twelve days of watching Luffy row like a madman, along with some timorous urging from Chopper and encouragement from the rest of the crew, Usopp decided to stage a very, very small mutiny. They didn't want to remove the Captain from his post; they just wanted him out of his position.

Luffy woke up and found himself tied tight to the mast. Usopp's knot work was one of his secret talents. Sanji leaned next to him, taking a long drag on his second cigarette of the day, and informed Luffy, "You ain't been yourself, so by orders of the first mate, until you straighten your head out, you're off duty." Luffy pouted and whined.

"But I'm the Captain, it's my job to take care of the ship!"

"Shut up, idiot. You were gonna kill yourself unless someone stopped you. Here, just eat. I've seen you go crazy for these recently." Sanji held out a yellow bell pepper, and Luffy stretched his jaw out to start devouring it. Sanji snorted derisively, but didn't take it away. "You oughta respect food more."

"I respect the bell pepper raw," Luffy said through a mouthful, "for its beauty and flavor." He took another big bite. "If you can make it any better than it is now, I'll never eat it raw again."

"Quite a challenge," Sanji chuckled, letting Luffy finish the pepper, seeds and all. "Make you a deal. I'll cook the best bell pepper dish you've ever imagined, and you won't hurt yourself working ever again."

"You've got a deal." Luffy grinned.

Sanji went to the galley during his next break, working with bell peppers as the body of the dish. Usopp wrinkled his nose at the strong scent of roasting peppers and rice wine vinegar. Luffy, however, tried to stretch his nose as long as Usopp's to get a better whiff. In his own belly, he could feel someone hungrily thrashing and kicking, and Luffy couldn't help but grin as he realized the baby had the same tastes as he did. When lunch time came, Luffy was untied and the anchor was dropped. Sanji unveiled his creation: steaming hot roasted red and yellow peppers in a savory marinade, arranged precariously over a leaf of cabbage in alternating colors. Most of the crew cautiously took a bit of pepper, and Chopper went for the cabbage, nervous about the pepper but not wanting to offend Sanji. Luffy, however, took a fair sixth of the dish and dug in. Sanji watched Luffy like a hawk, but as Luffy's face split into a wide grin, Sanji chuckled.

"So, Luffy?"

"You win." Luffy continued to devour the pepper marinade happily.

After this, Luffy loosened up on himself, with the agreement that Sanji would continue to make him the delicious pepper marinade. He rowed only for his shift and rested when it was time to rest, but some of the crew still worried.

"Stubborn Luffy giving in for a plate of vegetables? He must be sick!" Nami gossiped to Usopp. Sanji grinned proudly.

"Well surely, Miss Nami, my cooking can sway the wild beast, even if the wild beast usually prefers meat."

It took six weeks of rowing to escape the doldrums, and Nami finally began navigating the ship according to the Log Pose. Though changing directions caused them to slow, the wind was finally driving the ship forward again. They landed for the first time in eight weeks on a thankfully civilized Summer island that seemed eager for the business of sailors that had been caught in the doldrums. Indeed, they were low on food supplies, and everyone needed some time off the ship. Most were eager to go to the beach, except Luffy, who was otherwise distracted.

Luffy refused, despite Robin and Chopper's urging, to see a doctor the first day; he was happier to go to a restaurant and gorge himself at the buffet. A healthy appetite was, to him, the best sign of health both for him and his hungry baby. The next day, after his indigestion faded, Robin easily convinced Luffy that a visit to the doctor would be best. It was a pretty simple matter:

"You're a few weeks short of your third trimester. I bet you'll be able to find out if it's a boy or a girl."

Luffy skipped down the sidewalk to the clinic, his heart abuzz with excitement, but as he came closer, with Robin at his side, he found himself stopped by a taller man in a cloak. Luffy gasped softly, and threw his arms out. "Brother!" Ace laughed, and hugged Luffy around the chest. Robin stepped aside, vaguely familiar with the relationship between the pair, and decided to let the two talk for a moment.

"Little brother, still the same?" Ace teased. "Hah, but you've gained a lot of weight!" He teasingly poked Luffy's bulging belly. Luffy brushed him off with a laugh. "Got lazy, huh? The only fight you could beat me in now is an eating competition!" Luffy laughed again. "Hey, no return insults? Are you getting stupid too?"

"Nah, I just don't think it's an insult!" Luffy patted his big, round belly with a grin. "Got plenty of room for storage in here, and I can still fight with my crew!"

"Storage, eh?" Ace chuckled. "Just what are you storing, food for the winter?"

"Nah, got better stuff!" Luffy replied, putting his hands on his hips.

"What, you got a kid in there?" Ace leaned forward and smirked. Luffy simply laughed, but Ace grabbed his chin. "No, really." His voice dropped considerably, and Luffy got his meaning. Ace was smart: of course he knew.

"Yup," Luffy answered after a moment, before breaking into a wider grin. Ace let go of Luffy's face and folded his arms, considering his little brother. "You're gonna be an uncle, brother! How's that sound, huh?" Luffy almost froze inside, though his smile was plastered to his cheeks. Ace couldn't reject him too, could he?

The tension was murderous, as Ace kept his arms folded and a small, almost-mocking smile on his face. Luffy almost wanted to melt into the sidewalk.

"I dunno," Ace chuckled after a moment's thought. "Can't say I'm upset, but I guess I was expecting you'd have a girl do the knocking-up for you if you did it at all. Of course, there's a good reason I don't have sex with my crewmates." Ace grinned deviously. "Now, I said I wasn't going to meet you again until you were great. I lied. I'm not going to be here for long, but word's starting to spread amongst those who know about this particular side effect of the Devil's Fruit, and I had to get the word to you- not to mention see how true it is!" Ace's voice dropped again. "Luffy, they're saying that you're weak, and that now would be a good time to try and take you down for your bounty. In addition, the word's also out that Roronoa Zoro hasn't been traveling with you, making your crew even more vulnerable. Last, Grandpa knows."

"Grandpa?" Luffy flinched. "Crap. That's no good. Any idea what he's thinking?"

"From what I've been picking up, he doesn't want anybody under his command to touch you, and he's been ordering officers under his command to focus on your known enemies."

"Grandpa always knew what was best," Luffy remarked, nodding to himself. Ace slapped his back.

"Hey, he just has high hopes for you and won't let anybody take advantage of you when you're less than your best!" Ace rubbed Luffy's head firmly. "Now, little brother, you take care of the runt. It'd be nice to hear that you finally succeeded at something!" With that, Ace vanished down the street, pulling his cloak tight around him. It made Luffy wonder if Ace didn't want to be seen with him, but he shook it off and silently considered Ace's words.

Robin found herself alone at the bar closest to the docks, silently musing on Zoro. The swordsman hadn't turned up the day before, either. It wouldn't surprise her if he'd given up on chasing Luffy after what had happened before. She decided to check, and took a copy of Zoro's "Wanted" poster from her purse. She offered it to the bartender. "Have you seen this guy around?"

"If I had, he'd probably have been arrested by now with a bounty like that," the bartender laughed. "But no, nobody like that here."

"Damn," Robin sighed. Maybe he hadn't made it through the doldrums? She'd been too lucky thus far. It was too probable that she and Zoro would always find each other on the same island on the same days. Perhaps he had ended up on a larger ship with more men to row, had already drifted through, and was already on his way to the next island. She tried to reassure herself of these things, but she couldn't stop her feelings that Zoro had surrendered.

Robin ordered her usual red wine, and folded her legs one over the other. Despite her nomadic lifestyle, she'd met the occasional man whose caress had swayed her icy heart, and though she never meant to make them love her, they did. She knew how to break their hearts, and a firm kick to the crotch was usually tactic number one. However, she had seen the look in Zoro's eyes as he lay at her feet, and it still ached in her mind. His eyes were so wide, as though he were in pain caused by more than having his testicles rammed so far into his body cavity they turned inside out, but rather by the tone of Luffy's voice. His lips had been moving, and she'd only barely managed to read some of what he'd been trying to say:

_"I didn't mean that, Luffy; for god's sakes, I just want to touch you."_

What man had nerve enough not to surrender when the one he was chasing had rejected him, especially after such a massive mistake? Robin looked at the wall, so nobody could see her eyes. How many men had she broken like that? She knew that unless Zoro was more stupid, stubborn, or smitten than she'd realized, he could not be in love with Luffy anymore.

Interrupted from her thoughts, Robin noticed Luffy passing by the door on his way to the docks, and emerged to follow him. "Captain, have you seen the doctor?"

"Chopper? No, he's helping with the shopping, remember?" Luffy beamed at Robin.

"No, a land doctor, silly. One with technology and expertise," Robin replied, smiling wearily. Luffy shook his head.

"I don't want to go. I don't need it," Luffy chirped. Robin frowned.

"I don't think that's a good way to think."

"I'm okay with it." Luffy shrugged. "The way I see it, doctors are for sick people, and we're not sick or weak or anything." He smiled, proud at his logic, and Robin sighed.

"Oh, Captain, you made me do this." With that she grabbed Luffy by the ear and began to drag him back. Luffy whined, letting his ear stretch before getting snapped back into walking beside her. He pouted and reluctantly shuffled at her side.

"You're so mean, Robin," Luffy muttered, dragging his feet the whole way.

Ace, meanwhile, had a meeting of his own. He went to a designated lamppost, in front of a designated candy store, as disguised as someone as distinct as he was could be, and leaned against it in wait. Soon, another man in disguise arrived, and leaned against the other side of the lamppost.

"Alright, man, I got you your information," Ace muttered, cracking his knuckles hard against his palm.

"And?" The other man asked, a smirk spreading across his face. Ace sighed, already regretting what he was about to say.

"Yeah. Straw Hat Monkey D. Luffy's got a kid on the way, from what I can tell he's pretty far gone, and there's no denying that their swordsman is gone." Ace covered his face. "You reduced me to a damned spy. Just give me the log book before I change my mind, Buggy."

"Done and done, I'm a man of my word." Buggy passed Ace a small notebook. "Everything I know about Black Beard. Thanks for the information, kid."

"Why are you so curious about Straw Hat?" Ace demanded, still not turning around, though Buggy had begun to walk away. Buggy chuckled.

"I won't let that Straw-Hat brat succeed where I failed. No way!"

Luffy asked Robin to stay in the waiting room during his examination, and emerged wearing one of the biggest smiles she'd ever seen on him. She rose to greet him. "The suspense is murderous; is it a boy or a girl?"

"Huh? Oh, I dunno." Luffy strolled out of the clinic onto the street. Robin followed him, a frown on her face.

"The doctor couldn't tell?"

"Oh, yeah, he told me! I just don't want to tell you!" Luffy laughed raucously, leaving Robin with a faint blush. She was ashamed to think she had lost his trust for good, despite her good intentions.

"Luffy, I would very much like to know."

"Don't take it personally! I'm not going to tell Chopper, either. It's just between me and this little one," Luffy chirped, giving his belly an enthusiastic pat. Robin smiled, understanding his meaning now. With Zoro gone, Luffy was closest to his baby, and some things were secrets just for those with whom you're closest. Luffy had discovered his best love's biggest secret, and it was his prerogative to keep it that way. Robin wore a smile on her face the same size as Luffy's, as he wandered his way towards a restaurant. She knew Luffy had the kind of heart one needed to be a parent, even alone.

* * *

Reviews wanted!

I have a question for my beloved reviewers: what do you think of the Suggested Tracks? Do you actually listen to them while reading? Do you just sort of ignore them? Should I continue to include them?

In addition, I want to know your predictions for the story. What do you think will happen?

If you liked it, review!

If you didn't like it, review!

If you have a suggestion, review!

If you have something to say, I want to hear it, so please review!


	7. We're So Starving

-1Genuine Treasure

Author's Notes: This week's chapter is up a little early… Hope nobody minds! I'm so glad everyone enjoyed the last chapter! I'm flattered when I get so many responses! So much so that I must respond!

Arenha- For your review to chapter 5: they call it liquid bravery for a reason! He probably would have been better off with a bravery call. As for Zoro and Luffy getting back together, well, it's going to be pretty hard. It looks like something catastrophic would have to happen to bring them back together, because Luffy, as lonely as he is, seems to really hate the man.

Kichi Hisaki- Ah, live without regrets. Ace probably doesn't regret what he did because he's sure Luffy can take care of himself, so it doesn't matter what he does. I personally think that Ace really struggled with himself about it, but did what he knew he'd regret less. You'd have to ask him, though. And yes, Zoro should get his head out of his pants, as soon as he removes the ice pack.

Monika- No way, Zoro would never do that to Luffy! (Not after that _kintama_-kick Luffy gave him last he tried it.) Or at least, I would never let him. Realistically, it's the sort of wound one doesn't heal from, and I love Luffy too much to hurt him like that. The worst I'd let Zoro do is surprise buttsecks: Not rape, just sex you didn't know you wanted.

Randomstrike: Moi? Kill Luffy? How could I?! Monkey D. Luffy can survive and recover from anything and everything, I'm pretty sure he can't be killed. He soaked Crocodile in his own blood, got 100,000 volts of lightning from God Enel, and (most recently) took the full force of Magellan's poison; I'm pretty sure he doesn't have the ability to die! I also generally don't kill off main characters, especially when my story occurs mid-storyline. Not really my style. I assure you, Luffy will survive!

Also, thanks for your mention of my suggested tracks. I'm really driven by music, and I'm glad at least one other person appreciates that! As for the lengths of the chapters, they have gotten longer as I go, haven't they? I suppose I like to stop once I've worked through a certain facet of the plot, and then make you all wait a week.

Younggirl: I'm glad this story makes you happy! And I do try to update frequently, just because I know how much I hate to wait. Like, even for a bus or something. The story's mostly finished, though I go back a lot and change things on the chapters I haven't posted yet (so don't think any suggestions you guys make will go to waste!) As for the baby's gender, you'd have to ask Luffy. He's keeping it a secret! (_Sore wa himitsu desu!_)

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Nothing at all! And some things, I don't really want. Like Ivankov. (shudder.)

Chapter 7: We're So Starving

Suggested Track: "The Crane Wife 3," The Decemberists

Four weeks after learning the sex of his baby, Luffy found himself thrown for a loop of a different kind. Rather than the worries of the outside world or the absence of Zoro, Luffy found himself in jeopardy from his own crew. He should have known it was coming, but he didn't know just how it was going to happen.

Usopp, Nami, and Sanji could not stop themselves from wondering about Luffy. All of their instincts told them that there was something very obviously wrong with him, and they couldn't place what it was. For as much as was out of the ordinary with him, he tried to act like there was nothing wrong. Luffy had gained weight around his middle, with a large round bulge where his thin waist used to be. He was somewhat moody, reacting especially fiercely to any mention of the absent swordsman (though his name was never uttered), and he seemed to tire much more easily than usual. This didn't stop him from his usual antics: hanging off the figurehead, begging Sanji for bell peppers (a change from his usual begging for meat), getting into fights, and generally being himself. As long as he didn't act too much different, most of the crew would put aside their instincts and let him be himself. After all, he _had_ lost his best friend over a foolish argument. However, the cannonball of flesh under his shirt was of greater concern to Nami and Sanji.

"Luffy, I'm sick of your overeating! I'm surprised I haven't noticed our pantry stock shrinking more, but I know you've been stashing it in your shitty gullet!" Sanji snapped at the captain, poking at his gut with an accusing finger. Luffy bent his waist around to dodge, and Sanji folded his arms and glared. "With that fat belly, you must have been stuffing your face in secret for weeks!" Nami planted her hands on her hips, nodding in agreement with Sanji.

"We've all noticed you gaining weight. Nobody wanted to say anything, but your eating habits have obviously caught up to you! Carrying all that extra weight can't be good for your health! Not to mention your fighting skills!"

"Hey, lay off me! I can't help that I'm hungry all the time! I need my strength!" Luffy insisted, sticking his belly out with a little pride. "I'm just storing up my energy, cause I know I'm gonna need a lot of it one of these days!"

"When we're at sea for weeks at a time, we don't have the luxury to store up strength! You're going on a diet!" Nami snapped, and Luffy gasped, taken aback.

"D-diet? But Nami! I'll just die if you make me die-et!" Luffy whined, and Sanji kicked one heel up to whack Luffy on the back of the head.

"Don't talk back to Miss Nami! You've obviously got plenty of fat stores, you greedy little shit. If we get in a fight, I'll let you eat as much as you want to build your strength back up, but until then, you're eating only what we put in front of you!"

Chopper was mortified when Luffy told him of Nami and Sanji's plan. "B-b-b-but Luffy!! You're supposed to be eating extra! You need 300 more calories daily than you'd usually need to nourish the baby!"

"Yeah, I know, and I don't want to do anything that'll put h- uh, it at risk." Luffy smirked briefly, trying hard to keep the baby's sex mute. He was no good at keeping secrets. He continued to complain, "I'm sure he's just going to give me lettuce, and even though I've wanted nothing but bell peppers for the past five months, I need meat and rice and meat and fish and stew and meat! And lots of them! What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, Luffy. I mean, you'd have to give Nami a really good reason to not put you on the diet, and it'd have to be really good. You might have to tell her the truth!" Chopper yanked his ears nervously.

"She wouldn't even believe me now!" Luffy groaned, squeezing his middle for emphasis. "She'd say I was making it up and then Sanji'd probably kick me! And I don't wanna be kicked any more!"

"Please don't be upset!" Chopper squeaked, as Luffy grabbed his head in his hands. Chopper was almost inconsolable when Luffy went onto the negative end of a mood swing. As happy-go-lucky as he normally was, he could go completely negative at the drop of a hat. "Robin and I wouldn't let him kick you! Let's just see what this diet is before we get too irrational!"

Luffy went to dinner with an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach. The baby was kicking consistently at its living cradle, eager for mealtime, and he felt somewhat nauseous with guilt, knowing already that his baby would not be satisfied with the evening meal. Sanji served most of the crew with plates full of hot soba noodles and shrimp. Nami served Luffy a very small pile of the noodles on a small plate. Luffy examined it with a pout. "This is only enough for a kid," he muttered, folding his arms and sticking his lower lip out. Nami stubbornly folded her arms.

"Either you eat that or nothing at all." In his mind, Nami was expecting Luffy to go for the second option in order to try and get his way, but Luffy was utterly ravenous at the sight of the soba.

"I'll eat it," Luffy agreed, and began to devour his noodles as though they would disappear if he didn't eat them quickly. Nami scoffed and Sanji raised his eyebrow, but both said nothing and went to eat their own meals. Luffy finished his plate in a matter of seconds and licked the remaining spices and salt from the plate. He spent the rest of the meal staring hungrily at the slowly-emptying plates of others. Chopper glanced guiltily at him, his wide eyes staring, his twitching nose sniffing the air, his stomach growling loudly, and whimpered like the child he was. Usopp looked between Chopper and Luffy, chewing his lip.

"Uhh, Luffy, if you're still hungry, I'll give you mine," Usopp offered his plate. "I'm full."

"Usopp, he'll be fine with what he had! And Luffy, just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you get to ignore your table manners," Nami scolded, as Luffy tried to suck any remaining flavor off of his fork. Robin looked down at her plate and shuffled her meal around in silent embarrassment for the captain. Sanji knit his brow in guilt as well, and leaned closer to Nami.

"I definitely agree with you about his shitty manners, but… I dunno, the look on his face reminds me of myself when I was starving as a kid. Miss Nami, can't we give him a little more?"

"Sanji, look at him and tell me he's starving. He'll be fine, trust me," Nami cooed, rubbing his chin. Sanji smiled stupidly and sank back into his seat, face pink and smitten. Luffy whined a bit as his stomach growled again, and he folded both arms around his middle as the baby thrashed rebelliously. He tried to will the baby to calm down, but he knew nothing would silence its tempest but a full stomach.

Luffy tried to fill his stomach by drinking more water, but that put a strain on his already-strained bladder. The scene was repeated several times throughout the day:

The curtain rises. Stage left, Luffy, sitting on the figurehead with a mug of water. Stage center, Luffy, rushing to the bathroom, chanting insistently, "Gotta pee! Gotta pee!" Stage right moving to left, Luffy, waddling back to the figurehead with his mug of water refilled. Stage center, Luffy, dashing back to the bathroom, "Gotta pee!" Stage right, Luffy, contently shuffling back to his special seat with a fresh mug of water. Usopp almost got dizzy watching him run back and forth.

Chopper and Robin wouldn't let Luffy go hungry, but it was hard to sneak food under Nami and Sanji's increasingly watchful eyes. Anything they took had to look like something for them- sweets or fruit. Though Luffy desperately craved meat and savory foods, he would happily and gratefully accept some candy or an apple to briefly silence the rumbling in his gut. The apples made the baby wild, which reassured him that it was okay, but it didn't stop his apprehension. He desperately wanted real food, and he kept trying to think of ways to convince Nami to call off the diet. Nami was, unfortunately, much smarter than him, and he knew that nothing he said would work. Nami was only half-pleased at the end of a week's diet when Luffy hadn't gained any weight.

"Maybe you should be doing serious exercise, too," she mused, as Luffy stretched to peek at the scale around his middle.

"Maybe I should be eating more, so I have the strength to exercise!" Luffy whined, letting his arms and legs wobble.

"You're on a diet so we can _save_ food!" Nami groaned and rolled her eyes. "No, you're going to have to exercise!"

Nami wouldn't be questioned, and Sanji would enforce her word with his feet. Luffy found himself on his feet, running laps around the perimeter of the main deck, while Nami watched him over the Log Pose and the information she had on the next few islands. She was lounging in a chair by the wheel, with her feet kicked up onto the console. She ignored Luffy's panting and groaning, reviewing her notes and transferring them onto her map. As the needle of the Log Pose shifted, Nami adjusted the wheel with her foot. Luffy watched her with a fair amount of despair in his eyes. He could feel his knees jog against the bottom of his belly with every step, and he was starting to worry about its contents.

Luffy finally stopped for a moment just to check himself, folding his palms over his navel and taking deep breaths. "Come on, Luffy, just twenty more laps!" Nami called playfully, but Luffy knew she wasn't joking. As he paused, feeling the baby kick and writhe, he felt suddenly lightheaded. His left knee buckled and he staggered for a moment, catching himself on the railing. He felt as bad as he had right before discovering his pregnancy, and he could feel the blood draining from him. His vision tunneled, and the noise around him became nothing but a whir. He tried to focus on something to get a grip on reality, but there was nothing but the vast ocean and the ship and Nami shouting his name. He went limp, and his vision flashed to black.

"- big baby," was the first thing Luffy heard when he came to. His heart immediately began racing at Nami's words. He opened his eyes, and closed them again at the bright sun. "Hey, come on you big baby! Get up!" Luffy groaned, and opened his eyes again to see Nami and Robin leaning over him. Luffy covered his face with one hand and grunted irritably. "Don't give me that! Come on, get up!" Luffy ignored her and let his other hand drift to cover his navel, giving his middle a gentle squeeze. He could feel the baby move, reassuring him that it was okay. "Luffy, stand up!"

"No," Luffy muttered, scowling as he sat up. He glared directly at Nami. "I'm tired, and starving, and you're trying to kill me! I'm the Captain of this ship, and I don't have to take orders from you!" Nami was shocked. Luffy had never pulled rank on her before. She was not at all used to it. She finally reacted: with anger.

"Luffy, I'm doing this for your health! Every island we pass gets more and more dangerous, and you need to be at the top of your game!"

"I am at the top of my game!" Luffy snapped, eyes bloodshot and wild. He did not like being accused of being weak. "Or at least I was, until you started tormenting me!"

"You call this-" Nami pressed both hands into Luffy's stomach- "The top of your game?" Luffy gasped hard, feeling like he'd been kicked in the groin, and Nami drew her hands back like she'd been burned. His stomach wasn't soft and flabby as she'd expected; rather, it was firm and taut and almost solid. Nami gaped at him, not knowing what to say. Luffy got to his feet, his legs still shaking from the pain. She had never seen the rage on his face directed at her.

"If I have a health problem, I'll talk to Chopper! Unless you become a doctor, I'm not taking any orders from you about my health!" With that, Luffy stretched one arm out and launched himself up the mast, and curled up in the crow's nest, protectively rubbing his middle. He felt like Nami had just given his child a beating for the transgress of existing, and he didn't know how to apologize to it.

"Robin, I'm worried about Luffy," Nami said once Luffy was out of earshot. Robin didn't respond, simply waiting for Nami to keep talking. "His stomach doesn't feel like fat. It feels more like a… a tumor." Nami put her hands over her eyes. "The Captain's got something wrong with him, I've known it all along, he must be terribly sick! No wonder he's been acting so strangely."

"Perhaps he doesn't want you and the other members of the crew to worry about him. He has been talking to Chopper very often, and I'm sure he has the situation under control," Robin suggested gently, hoping to protect Luffy. Nami's face brightened briefly, and Robin realized she'd given Nami more than enough rope to hang her with.

"Chopper. I'll ask Chopper, I'm sure he'll tell me what's wrong with Luffy!" Nami rushed into the cabin house to find the reindeer in the storage room before Robin could stop her. She rushed in, surprising him as he wrote in his record book.

"Miss Nami!" He squeaked, and rushed to his wall of photos and began to tear them down. Normally, he would have a few seconds' warning to hide the evidence of his study, but Nami had been far too excited to knock. Nami still barely got a glimpse of the photos as Chopper stuffed them in a folder. He jumped behind a chair and held the folder out. For once, Chopper had hidden himself the right way when he meant to hide the folder. Nami giggled, and he quickly jumped out and tucked Luffy's folder against his chest "How can I help you, Miss Nami?" He asked, his voice high-pitched and nervous, his little legs quivering as he clutched his folder in his hooves.

"Chopper, it's about Luffy. He's got something in his abdomen that shouldn't be there. Do you know anything?" Chopper's fur stood on end, as he quaked and shivered in apprehension. He looked like a deer in the headlights. Nami smiled, reading him like a map. "You do know something. Tell me, I need to know."

"Nami, h-have y-y-you ever heard of d-d-d-doctor-p-patient confidentiality?" Chopper stammered, eyes still wide and nervous. "Everybody trusts me with their private information, I can't just go talking about the captain's health, I'd never be a good doctor!"

"But Chopper, it's for the good of the crew," Nami insisted, leaning towards the reindeer with a devious smirk. "Maybe I should have Usopp order you to tell me."

"N-n-n-no! Nami, please!" But Nami had stopped listening to him and began to look at the stack of books Chopper had next to his mat.

"Hmmm. You're researching side effects the Devil's Fruit can have on people?" Nami began to flip through the pages Chopper had marked. Chopper squealed with embarrassment and stuffed his folder back onto a shelf and rushed to try and get the books from her hands, even as Nami's eyes widened in comprehension. "Chopper, what is this all supposed to mean?"

"It's… it's what I think is wrong with Luffy!" Chopper managed to squeak. Nami held up the photo of a pregnant man.

"You mean, you think Luffy is having a Devil's Fruit pregnancy?" Nami asked, flipping through a few more pages of charts, eyes widening as she made the connections. "It makes sense now! It all makes sense!" She put the book back down, eyes wide, mouth open as she thought. "Oh god, Chopper, with the way he's been treating himself, he must not even know! But- the symptoms fit! He's having mood swings and he's gained weight and he's tired and-- oh, the bell peppers, he's got cravings! Chopper, when were you going to confirm it?" Nami asked. Chopper stammered and stuttered but said nothing, and Nami kept talking. "Well, I'm sure it'll be a challenge. He wouldn't believe it, would he? I'm looking at medical evidence of it and I barely believe it! He has to take care of the poor baby, I mean, he must be at least-- oh god, Zoro must be the father, but he and Luffy haven't seen each other in over six months. Six months pregnant, at the very least!"

"V-very least," Chopper mumbled, knowing that Luffy was more than 30 weeks pregnant. 'Let Nami believe what she wants,' he thought. 'I didn't tell her anything, she just came up with it.'

"Chopper, next time we make landfall, we have to talk to him! We'll get one of those boxed tests and show him. I can't believe you haven't told him!"

"Y-yeah," Chopper mumbled, hanging his head and feeling inexplicably like he'd failed Luffy. "When are we supposed to see land next?"

"It's a few days away," Nami sighed. "I'll tell Sanji to give him normal portions for now. I'd feel guilty starving him if this is really his problem." She started to turn away, her brooding apparent in her face.

"Nami, until we're sure!!" Chopper interrupted her departure in a panicky voice. "Until we're sure, don't tell the rest of the crew! And pretend you don't know! Luffy should be the one to tell everybody!"

"Okay, Chopper. My lips are sealed." Nami smiled and left, already thinking of her next move. She decided it was her job to take care of Luffy.

When the dinner bell rang, Luffy didn't move from the crow's nest. He was so hungry he couldn't motivate himself to move for a small portion, and almost too tired to move at all. He didn't even react when Nami peered over the edge and carefully maneuvered herself in. She had climbed the rigging to the crow's nest with a plate in one hand. "Luffy, I'm sorry I was so hard on you earlier. We'll get you back into shape much slower," she informed him in a gentle, sisterly voice. She put a plate full of meat and rice with sauce down next to him, and nudged it toward him. "And I have these for you, too." She reached into her pockets for two tangerines from her grove and a large red bell pepper. Luffy looked up at Nami with sad eyes, and smiled a little.

"Thank you. And I'm sorry I snapped at you. I really do respect you and your opinion as my crewmate," Luffy said, sitting up and taking the plate. Nami took a seat beside him, and put an arm around his shoulder. She leaned her head against him and squeezed him tight.

"I just worry about you. You don't really seem to know what you're doing, so somebody has to take care of you," Nami teased, and Luffy chuckled.

"I can handle myself, Nami. I've always taken care of myself, and I always will," Luffy said, and he began to eat the bell pepper. Nami smiled a little bit, and did her best to keep from staring at the captain's round stomach.

Still upset over the treatment he'd received from Nami and Sanji, Luffy stayed in the crow's nest for two days. Usopp climbed up to talk to him frequently, telling bad jokes to cheer him up, and taking orders. Usopp felt extraordinarily bad for Luffy, simply because he looked terribly sad no matter what he said. Unfortunately, even his worst jokes didn't garner more than a chuckle. This only increased Nami's concerns, and Sanji had started to feel guilty about trying to starve the Captain.

"I didn't realize the little shit was going to react that badly to cutting back," Sanji muttered to Nami as they watched Usopp climb the rigging again.

"It just shows you how much your food means to him, Sanji," Nami chuckled half-heartedly, and Sanji grinned amorously at Nami's comment.

"Land ho!" Usopp called from aloft, and Nami took up a telescope, looking in the direction the Log Pose pointed them. She could see a well-forested island ahead, with a small, empty jetty tacitly welcoming them.

"This must be Gilead Island. Doesn't look like much, though. No civilization, but it'll be worth a look!" Nami called back. She focused her telescope on the island. "Looks like there's a ship anchored on the far side of the island, but I can't see its flags, and there's a dock on the near side." She scanned the island a bit more. "I see dark smoke, too, there's a fire! Let's hope it's just someone camping!"

It was late when they made landfall. Smoke still puffed up from somewhere in the forest, but there was no light but that of the moon and stars on the dock. Usopp, Sanji, Luffy, and Chopper pulled the boat along the side of the dock and weighed anchor. Luffy was exhausted from the effort. "I'll stay here," Luffy said quietly, sitting on a post. Usopp looked at Luffy sympathetically, opening his mouth to speak, but Luffy cut him off. "No, I'm okay, I need a short rest." He smiled and waved them off. "Just give me ten minutes, I'll catch up."

"Let's check out the fire. Maybe there's someone else here," Nami suggested, looking briefly back at Luffy, who'd tilted his head back to lean against the slowly bobbing ship and closed his eyes. The crew walked away, leaving the captain behind to sleep it off and silently worrying about him again.

Usopp didn't want to be brave, but with Luffy tired on the docks, he had to shakily lead the way. Nami seemed to be leading more than Usopp was, checking for trail signs and evidence of life. The island was silent and dark, and they felt the eerie sensation of thousands of eyes on their backs. None of them broke the silence, even as they smelled burning wood ahead, and still nothing emerged from the darkness. Whatever was there was just watching. After some walking, they came to what seemed to be a camp site. There was a fire burning, and a few crates, along with lots of fruit pits. Three swords were leaned against the tree, and a familiar man lay curled up in an old bed sheet.

"Shit, it's mossball!" Sanji snapped, and Zoro shot up in place. Robin covered her mouth in shock; she'd never imagined she'd see Zoro as he was. He was dirty, unshaven, his hair long, and his body thin. The crew stepped back from him as Zoro rose to his feet and grabbed two of his swords.

"What the hell are you all doing here?" Zoro snapped, eyes wild as he stared at his five ex-crewmates.

"We should ask you the same thing," Nami replied, narrowing her eyes and reaching for her Clima-Tact. "How did you get here?"

"I stowed away trying to catch you guys, but I got caught on the last one. They dumped me here after I beat most of their crew in combat so I would starve to death, and I've been living here for weeks," Zoro hissed, glaring at the others and watching for any of them to draw a weapon. "I was waiting for you."

"And what were you going to do when you caught us?" Usopp asked, palming his slingshot behind his back. Zoro said nothing, staring between them one by one. He could see that they were all ready to attack him, except Robin, whose arms were folded behind her back and her eyes filled with shame.

"I don't even know," Zoro muttered, and turned his gaze to his feet. "But I belong with our crew, I'll never belong anywhere else. You've probably already been poisoned against me, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't deserve it." He looked away from them. "Maybe you should just forget you saw me."

"Zoro, we do want you back," Nami declared quietly. The rest of the crew looked at her, some more surprised than others.

"We!?" Sanji barked in shock, but Nami shot him a quick look and he silenced.

"But you have to talk to the Captain. He said you couldn't come back, and you'll have to resolve whatever issues you have with him."

"If he'll give me a chance, that's all I want," Zoro muttered, sheathing his swords and tying them to his belt. He held his hands up to show he was now completely unarmed. "I swear, I won't hurt any of you. I still consider you my friends." Sanji eyed Zoro suspiciously, but the five Straw Hat crewmen escorted Zoro back to the dock. He looked at them silently, wondering what they thought of him. Sanji's scowl was undeniable, and uglier than usual. Usopp was frowning as well, but Zoro could tell Usopp didn't know quite why he should be angry. Nami was soft-faced and brooding, and Chopper was trying as hard as he could to hide a small smile. He looked at Robin, who walked behind him with a blank face.

"How has Luffy been?" He asked quietly. Robin didn't look at him, eyes forward.

"He's not been well lately." Nami and Chopper felt a twinge of guilt, and Zoro hung his head.

"What am I supposed to say to him? It's been this long, how do you start talking to someone again?"

"You're not drunk, are you?" Robin's tone was bitter, and it wounded Zoro.

"I've been sober for months," Zoro replied, his voice biting with anger. Robin realized, just from the look on his face, that he'd learned from his mistake.

"Then you'll have absolutely no problem with it," Robin replied, clearly detaching herself as much as she could. They pushed through the tall grasses to the dock, where Luffy was fast asleep leaned against the ship. Zoro stared, dumbfounded, watching the boat bob in the water, Luffy sliding up and down with the waves. He couldn't believe how Luffy had changed, how soft, how delicate he looked. With a large wave, Luffy began to slide off the dock, and Zoro's heart jumped.

"Luffy!" He broke away from the crew, rushed forth and caught the captain before he fell in the water, and Luffy jumped awake and, upon realizing what was happening, pushed Zoro off of him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Luffy barked, as Zoro stepped back.

"I didn't want you to drown!" Zoro snapped, throwing his hands out. The crew quickly lined up next to Luffy, and Zoro found himself faced down by all of his friends.

"If you gave a shit, you would never have abandoned us!" Luffy snapped, immediately enraged, pushing Zoro and sending him stumbling back.

"Asshole, you abandoned me! You're not even going to give me a chance to talk, are you?" Zoro growled as he caught his balance, and he spread his feet and crouched slightly, ready to pounce, to scream, to fight, ready for anything.

"Welcome home, Zoro," Robin murmured, as Luffy faced Zoro on equal ground.

________________________________________________________________________

End Notes: Le gasp! A cliffhanger. God, I'm awful.

I want your predictions! What will happen between Zoro and Luffy? What will the Straw Hats do? Can Destiny deal with these warring parties and reunite the crew, and if so, how? What is the meaning of life? What do you want to happen? Review, for the answers to three of those questions await you in the next chapter!

PS: Like Saiyuki? Like my writing style? Want to see what happens when a certain kappa strikes a deal with a certain unholy priest? Keep an eye out for _King Rat_… or just go to my profile and read it from there! And spread the word to your friends!


	8. Welcome Home

Genuine Treasure

Author Notes: This chapter is kind of intense, I'll warn you. Before I go any further, let's respond to my mailbag!

First, thank you to those who have watched this story! I appreciate knowing you want to come back, if only to see where this train wreck's going to end up.

O r i g i n a l 1: Glad you're enjoying it!

Monika: Read King Rat… Please! Also, I don't know just how much hope there is for Luffy and Zoro…

Randomstrike: This story happens over a considerable period of time. I try to make clear in each chapter just how far he is. Luffy is, at this part of the story, about 7 months pregnant. If all goes well, he should be due in about 10 weeks.

Kichi Hisaki: Every time I read your review, I giggled. I can totally see Sanji dumping water on Zoro's head like that. Also, I like to think of Nami and Luffy as sort-of-siblings. The whole crew is really like a big, happy (dysfunctional) family.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except what I make up as I go along.

One last thing: Definitely listen to the Suggested Track for this chapter. Seriously. This whole scene practically came from the song in my mind.

Chapter 8: Welcome Home

Suggested Track: "Welcome Home," Coheed and Cambria

Luffy and Zoro were finally on equal ground- angry and sober. They stared each other with eyes slowing icing over, ready to give each other what they thought the other wanted. Someone had to start it, and neither would make a move. Zoro gritted his teeth; it was time to be a man and open lines of communication.

"You… got… fat!" Zoro spat reluctantly, regretting it even as he said it. Luffy flinched and clenched his fists, but he was glad, deep down, that he didn't have to start the fight.

"And you're a sex-crazed pig!" Luffy barked back. Robin winced, covering her face in shame. Nami and Usopp readied their weapons as Zoro shuddered, expecting him to make a move at any second. Sanji, with his hands tucked firmly in his pockets, swung his leg around his other knee to stretch.

"You shouldn't have to deal with this shit, Luffy. You want me to take care of him?" Sanji muttered, kicking one leg out in practice.

"No, guys, this is my fight. Stand down and step back," Luffy ordered. Robin was the first to take three steps back from Luffy. Nami followed her, and Usopp and Chopper did the same. Sanji looked between them and Luffy urgently, scowling at Zoro.

"I sure as hell hope you know what you're doing."

"I'm not fucking scared of him," Luffy muttered, cracking his knuckles.

"Move it, you curly-browed freak, this is between us!" Zoro snapped, and Sanji finally stepped back, a scowl still twisting his face.

"If he even starts to play dirty, I'm stepping in!"

"Come on, Luffy, don't be a coward! You can't avoid me forever!" Zoro shouted over the dock.

"Me, a coward? Avoid you?!" Luffy snarled, eyes filling with tears. "You made it perfectly clear that you didn't want to see me ever again! You said we were in your way!" Luffy's voice rose to a pitch and he slapped one hand to his belly. "You selfish ass! You left because you didn't want to take responsibility for your thumb-sucking, milk-barfing, diaper-shitting kid!"

Usopp, Nami, and Sanji all felt their legs go wobbly for a moment in shock, as Robin covered her face completely and Zoro hung his head. Nami looked at Chopper, who was biting his hooves and quaking, and her face erupted in realization.

"Chopper, you knew. You knew he knew. You should have told us!" Nami hissed. Chopper shook his head. Zoro glanced at the shock on the faces of his other crew members, and managed a dark chuckle.

"You mean after all these months, you still haven't told your crew? Good job keeping that one quiet, Robin." All eyes turned to Robin, who smiled a little bit through her hands.

"I knew the Captain would want to tell you about his pregnancy himself." With Luffy's words twice confirmed, Usopp and Sanji rushed forward and grabbed Luffy under his elbows.

"Captain, I won't see you endanger your child like this!" Usopp declared, without even a hint of his usual cowardice in his voice. "Even if I'm not sure how you got knocked up in the first place!"

"Let go of me, damn it!" Luffy barked, twisting his arms and trying to pull away.

"No way! No gallant man can stand idly by when a damsel is in distress, and I'm pretty sure you count as a damsel now!" Sanji replied, breaking his own code again as he gripped Luffy with both hands. Luffy growled, stomping his feet and pulling at their grip, his arms stretching.

"I am not a woman, and I can protect my kid myself! It's what I've done for the past six months! And I got 'knocked up' because of the Devil's Fruit and that bastard!" Luffy glared right at the swordsman, and writhed his way out of Usopp and Sanji's grasp. The pair moved forward to grab Luffy again, but Robin stopped them.

"This is Luffy's business. Let him silence his own heart."

Luffy stepped towards Zoro, distancing himself from his crew, a scowl firm on his face. "You wanted a chance to talk, now start talking!"

"Luffy! I don't want this for us! I don't care about the kid, I just want to be with you!" Zoro barked, stomping one foot.

"What do you mean, you don't care about the kid?" Luffy snarled back. "That's what this is all about!"

"I mean, I don't care whether you have it or not!"

"You don't care!"

"I do, damn it, that's what I'm trying to say!"

"Then say it!" Luffy screamed, his voice hoarse as his eyes filled with tears. "Say it, you pig!"

"I don't even know what to say anymore, for fuck's sake!" Zoro groaned, throwing his hands up.

"You son of a bitch, you don't care!" Luffy finally rushed forward and threw a punch. Tears were streaming down his face, but there was no more time to talk. Zoro dodged Luffy's punch and drew his swords. Zoro and Luffy found themselves where they'd started the day Luffy told Zoro he was pregnant, except this time, there was nowhere for either to escape: only the ever-darkening forest of devils and the deep blue sea. They stared at one another, neither wanting to hurt the other, but since both expected the other to be violent, neither wanted to be hurt. Zoro eyed Luffy's wide, full belly warily, and winced. The torso was a good target when you wanted to hurt but not necessarily kill, and Zoro knew it was off-limits. In his mind, Luffy had the upper hand.

"I won't lose, Luffy, not to you, not even now," Zoro growled against the blade in his teeth.

Luffy flinched internally, feeling his organs twist. He didn't have it in him to hurt Zoro, even after all this time, and he could never win this fight. Surely, Zoro was stronger than him in this state. His heart was pounding, overflowing with pain at the knowledge that the love he felt for Zoro would never be returned. He couldn't bring himself to fight, but he knew he had to protect his child from the beating he was about to receive. He twisted his arms together like a club, and Zoro, anticipating the hit, swung forward to block. Luffy took all three blades on their blunt sides and threw both hands back to deflect, and quickly turned forward to cross his arms in front of him as Zoro instinctively swung back at Luffy.

"I can't believe they're actually fighting," Nami whispered, as the two held firm against one another, wearing near-identical grimaces. "But it does make sense… It's how those two have always settled things."

Luffy threw Zoro's swords off again and jumped back, taking a boxer's stance with his fists up and his hips forward. He maintained his balance impressively despite his shifted center of gravity. Zoro took stance as well, gripping his swords so tight he thought his fingers would fall off and his teeth would break. Neither moved, just facing one another, waiting for the other to move. Slowly, they began to circle, their eyes dark and focused. They edged forward, closer and closer to one another, just watching and waiting. Every time one took a step, the other took a step to match it, watching the weapons of the other, but never engaging, just circling like vultures.

"This doesn't count as a fight at all," Usopp muttered. "Neither of them is attacking, just reacting to what they think is an attack from the other."

"What's that supposed to mean, Usopp?" Chopper asked, eyebrows knit with fright.

"They don't want to fight each other at all," Usopp replied, shaking his head in disbelief. Both Zoro and Luffy heard him, and looked back at one another with angry eyes. For a split second, they saw through one another; Zoro could see Luffy's pain and anguish, and Luffy could see Zoro's self-loathing and despair. Zoro made the first move again, and dropped his blades. He stared at Luffy, panting.

"Do you want to hurt me, Luffy? If that's what you want, you can have it!" He stepped back, leaving all three of his swords on the dock, and held his arms out in a sign of surrender. "I deserve it, damn it!"

"What makes you say you deserve it?" Luffy mumbled, lowering his fists but maintaining his stance, just waiting for a surprise attack.

"You know exactly what I did!" Zoro howled, stomping one foot. "I… hurt you! I insulted you and our child! I assaulted you when you wanted and needed me! I'm no better than… I'm a coward! Luffy, I love you, I'm goddamn sorry, and I'll do anything to make it up to you and the kid!" Luffy dropped his guard completely, hanging his head, but he could only say one thing:

"Prove it!"

"Who needs proof?" Someone cackled, and the entire crew turned to see Buggy the Clown at the edge of the forest with his crew and his cannon pointed directly at Luffy. Zoro stepped back towards his swords and picked them up, ready to fight even if it was futile, but Luffy stepped forward, suddenly inquisitive.

"Hey, I just remembered: you were the one who ate the Chop-Chop Fruit, weren't you?"

"Luffy, now is a bad time for that!" Chopper wailed, yanking on his antlers.

"No, Chopper, I know! Buggy was that almost successful Devil's Fruit mother!" Luffy suddenly frowned. "Uh, sorry if that's not a good memory for you, red-nose." Buggy gritted his teeth in a vicious sneer.

"Don't call me red-nose!" He snarled, lighting his cannon as Luffy stood staring him straight on. Nami, Zoro, and Luffy were frozen in place in either shock or stupidity, and Robin still had her grip firm on Sanji and Usopp. "I had one idiotic idea that flopped, and I don't have regrets! But remember this, Straw-Hat; you've beaten me once, and I won't let it happen again!" Luffy's eyes were wide, and nobody could move faster than the cannon's short fuse. The cannon went off, and Luffy caught the cannonball in his hands. However, the momentum of the cannonball kept him going, and his feet left the ground. His hat flew off his head and landed on the dock. Luffy found himself in midair for a split second before tumbling into the deep sea water. Robin gasped, and tried to shoot out a stream of hands to catch Luffy, but she couldn't grab him in time. In a second, Zoro had torn his shirt off and dove into the water. Sanji was immediately filled with righteous rage- Luffy was close enough to be a woman with a baby in his belly, and damn it all, nobody blitz-attacks a woman!

"I'll kill you, you shithead clown!" Sanji roared, fire blazing in his eyes, and the rest of the Straw Hat crew took the offensive on Buggy's Clowns.

The water in the bay, though not as bottomless as the ocean, was deep and dangerous blue, and Luffy was sinking like a stone. The wind had been knocked out of him in surprise, and he couldn't get a breath. His instincts were to scream for help, but the night sky above was becoming fainter and fainter. Nobody would hear him. Misery sank into him. He could feel, as his body hit bottom, his baby thrash angrily, as though it felt his heart pounding and knew they were dying. Luffy held his breath tight to keep what little air he had in him, folding his arms around his chest and closing his eyes. Buggy had lasted ten minutes. The clock was ticking.

Most of Buggy's crewmen were nothing but goons who ran as soon as Sanji had attacked, but he was sending the ones who still stood packing with his feet. He seemed to practically be on fire with rage. Usopp had started firing rocks at clown heads as quickly as he could reload his slingshot. He might as well have been holding a rapid-fire pistol. Chopper was bashing brains in heavy point, eyes aglow with anger and a Nami knew the trick to Buggy's powers, and she and Robin took over.

"You hurt my friend!" Nami shrieked, firing ice at him.

"Dos fleur!" Robin's hands reached up from the ground and grabbed his feet. Buggy screeched, hands scrambling as his thighs and calves were frozen and Robin shot up more fleur to hold his body parts. He tried to throw a punch with his hand, but Nami swatted it away with one of the tubes and froze the hand. It dropped to the ground, and Robin grabbed it. "Luffy's child is innocent!" Robin shouted. "Every child deserves a chance to live!"

Nami chased and froze Buggy's other hand, and Robin held it down. Buggy found himself a head bouncing across the ground, screaming in panic.

"Why do you want to defend something that will only be in your way?!" Buggy cried out, as the Straw Hats surrounded him.

"Even if the Captain's kid would be in our way, that's what he wants," Sanji growled. "He's never denied us our dreams or put them down. We're not the sorts of monsters who'd have the audacity to deny him his!"

Usopp took Buggy's head in his hands, but nearly dropped him when Buggy bit him. "Son of a- Headshot Star!" Usopp popped Buggy's head in his slingshot and sent him shooting back across the island. All that remained of Buggy and his crew now was an echoing scream.

"How long did that take?" Chopper asked, as he shifted back from heavy point to brain point.

"Nine minutes. Where's Zoro?" Robin turned back to the water. His shirt, swords, and bandanna were strewn on the dock, Luffy's hat still on its side, and she covered her mouth. "Oh god, he's still…" Sanji and Nami dove in after Zoro (and Usopp had to stop Chopper from jumping in after them) but when they saw how far down Luffy was, they knew their only option was to wait.

It must have been the first time Zoro hadn't gotten lost. It took him too long to swim out to where Luffy had sank, but once he went down, he didn't want to come up. He had never imagined that he could hold his breath for so long, but he could see Luffy's limp form on the ocean floor, forty feet from the surface, and he forced himself onward. Luffy was still, his eyes closed, and there were no bubbles coming from his mouth or nose. Zoro reached him and grabbed him under one arm. His heart was pounding; he couldn't have been away from Luffy for this long just to fail him. He couldn't let Luffy die from something as stupid as drowning, not after all he'd been through! He swam for the surface as quickly as he could, but Luffy was dead weight and heavy. He finally surfaced and took a breath, keeping Luffy in one arm and hoisting him up into the air. He swam to the dock and with Sanji's help pushed Luffy up onto it. Robin gave him her hand, and he crawled up beside her. Luffy had been underwater for fifteen minutes.

As the crew gathered around, water flooding the jetty from the bodies of the damp, Zoro tilted Luffy's head back and began to breathe air into his mouth. With three good breaths and four sets of chest compressions, Luffy coughed up water and began to gasp heavily. He rolled onto front and pushed himself to his hands and knees, seawater pouring from his mouth and nose. His arms and legs shook under him, and buckled him back onto his front. Zoro patted his back and listened as Luffy's coughs dissolved into choked sobs.

"It's… it was too long…" Luffy moaned, one hand sliding to his middle. Zoro's heart sank- how could the baby have survived? There was utter silence, a moment where nobody knew what to say. Nami covered her mouth, Sanji covered his eyes, Usopp closed his eyes and looked away, and Chopper began to cry aloud.

"Luffy, I'm so sorry!" Chopper wailed, and Robin patted his head cautiously, unsure of what to say. A hole formed in the world. Zoro scooped Luffy into his arms, giving him a firm hug. Luffy gasped softly, uncharacteristic sadness flooding his soul.

"Come on," Zoro whispered to Luffy, "I don't care whether you want me on your crew or not, I'm going to take care of you now." Luffy was still and silent, not resisting Zoro's touch, and he could say nothing. He climbed the ramp back onto the ship, and the rest of the crew followed somberly. Robin looked at Chopper, though her eyes couldn't meet his.

"Can you operate to remove the fetus, or should we wait until we reach the next island?"

"I can't do it, Robin," Chopper sniffled, rubbing his eyes, and his voice broke in a wail. "I just can't do it!"

"No, it's okay," Nami cut in softly, her voice high and trembling, and turned to look at the teary doctor with a forced, comforting smile. "We'll see a surgeon on the next island. My records say it's only two days' sailing from here."

"Hopefully, his body doesn't start attacking it before then," Robin mused quietly, glancing at Luffy and Zoro. Zoro took Luffy into the cabin house to lay him down, wearing a sad but affectionate face and slowly rubbing Luffy's cheek. Luffy didn't react at all. "Luffy's lost what he loved best, let's just hope we don't lose him too."

________________________________________________________________________

End Notes: In the words of Steve Harvey: "Don't trip, I ain't through yet." The story's not done, so bear with me a little longer.

Questions? Comments? Concerns? Review!

Hatred? Malice? "You suck, Ezzy!"? Review!

I really want your thoughts on this one. I need feedback. Tell me what you think!


	9. Four Scenes from a Funeral

-1Genuine Treasure

Author's Notes: Oh crap. People are threatening to kill me. I better get through this quick.

In order to appease the teeming hordes of angry fan girls/zombies at my window, I convinced my friend on DA to do some fanart of Luffy and Zoro for this fic! Let her know what you think, she worked really hard!

/d2c68ds

No, I'm not sure how much the fanart will help with the zombies. They might still want my brains.

In response to my reviewers: Thank you for your kind support!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing at all. And yes, they're slightly OOC in this chapter. Also, I don't often use Japanese terms, but I do use Japanese words for names. The curious may check at .com.

Chapter 9: Four Scenes from a Funeral

Suggested Track: "Do You Know What I'm Seeing," Panic! at the Disco

"I hate it," Luffy muttered darkly, his arms folded across his chest. Since leaving Gilead Island, Luffy had remained in bed. The crew had planned to restrict him, but he had effectively restricted himself. Zoro, who had finally shaved and washed himself, opened one half-asleep eye to look at him. He'd spent much of the trip sitting next to Luffy's cot, speaking only when spoken to.

"What do you hate, Luffy?" Zoro mumbled, shaking his head to rouse himself. He had barely slept at all in the past two days, in utter spite of himself.

"This," he grumbled, slapping at his still-round belly. Zoro felt his heart ebb in his chest, reminded again of the child they knew they'd lost. Luffy had to live with the reminder of it on his hips, and he was angry about it every second. He'd gone so far as to throw his loaned stethoscope against the wall when Chopper approached him with it in an attempt to check on the baby. The crew were all afraid that Luffy's quickly-recovering body would start attacking the flesh still attached to him and infect him, but it seemed that Luffy wanted it gone more than any of them and didn't want any pretense of hope. "I hate that it still feels like it's moving."

"It's probably just because you're hungry. Do you want me to get you something to eat?" Zoro stood up, and Luffy nodded slightly.

"I want a bell pepper," Luffy mumbled. Zoro nodded and shuffled topside. Snow was lazily drifting down onto the deck. The rest of the crew was preparing to make berth at the next island, and most of them acknowledged him with a quick nod. Zoro walked towards the galley, but Chopper stopped him.

"If Luffy's going to have the s-surgery today, he can't eat anything. Give him some water, but no food." Zoro frowned, but not at the reindeer. Chopper's lower lip wiggled, sad at knowing what had to happen to Luffy. Zoro took a mug of water to Luffy, who drank it to try and silence his fitful stomach.

"It's no good. It still feels… alive." He hung his head and rubbed his forehead, and Zoro squeezed Luffy's hand.

"It's okay, Luffy, it's going to be okay."

"It'll be okay for you. This is what you wanted in the first place, isn't it?" Luffy yanked his hand away from Zoro and glared daggers at him. Zoro looked at Luffy's middle, his expression somber, and when he finally spoke, his voice was more gentle than Luffy had ever heard before.

"No, not really. You think I actually wanted to kill the kid? I hated the thought of doing it even when I suggested it." Luffy scowled, and looked away from him.

"That's what you said, Zoro. You said you wanted me to take it out," Luffy accused bitterly. Zoro shook his head solemnly.

"I never would have said that; only that I would have been there for you." Zoro folded his arms across his lap and looked away from Luffy. "I just didn't want you to get hurt… and besides that, I was… scared and confused." Zoro pressed his hand over his chest, ashamed to admit himself as human. "But then I thought about it… truth is, as long as we give a damn about it, we can do anything. We've done what most people would consider impossible. We've risked our lives for our high ambitions. Maybe the it was just one more thing we would have had to do. World's greatest swordsman, king of pirates, and parents." Luffy folded his hands around his middle, staring down into it as Zoro scratched the back of his neck.

"I loved her, Zoro." Zoro's head shot up.

"Her?"

"It was a girl," Luffy whispered. Zoro looked away. "And I did love her." Zoro winced, trying hard not to think of Kuina.

"We… We can try to make another one," Zoro tried to comfort him, but Luffy didn't respond. Robin peered in.

"We're weighing anchor. Luffy, are you feeling okay?" Luffy nodded.

"Just tired and hungry. The usual," Luffy mumbled, and Zoro helped him out of bed.

"It's a winter island, so you might want to dress warmly," Robin advised, and left the pair alone again. Zoro got the coat he'd worn on Drum Island, but wrapped it around Luffy's shoulders to keep him warm.

"If you get nervous, I'll be right beside you," Zoro assured Luffy, and gently placed the straw hat on his head. Luffy nodded and stood. Zoro's oversized coat reached his ankles but failed to hide his round stomach. Luffy glared at it darkly, trying hard to pull the coat around it as much as possible, before giving up and leaving the buttons undone to give it room. Zoro kissed Luffy's cheek, but Luffy didn't react at all.

The entire crew, except for Chopper who chose to clear his mind on a snowfield, went with Zoro and Luffy to the island's hospital, and neither of them wanted to tell them to go away. They hadn't asked them to come, but none of them wanted to leave. Luffy buried his face in Zoro's arm as they entered the clinic. There were a few people waiting already, but it was mostly empty. Zoro went to the receptionist while the rest of the crew sat near Luffy, who planted his hands on his knees and scowled at his middle.

"I'm here with him." Zoro pointed at Luffy. "He, uh, he was pregnant and had a miscarriage, and he needs to have the dead fetus removed." He kept his face as straight as possible. The receptionist peered around him to look at Luffy, eyebrows raised.

"I'll have him seen as soon as possible." Before Zoro could even sit down, a female doctor emerged from the examination area and approached Luffy.

"I'm Doctor Koushi," she introduced herself gently. He stared up at her with a blank look on his face. "I realize this is a very difficult time for you, and I'm going to get this over with as painlessly as possible, but you're going to have to bear with me while I examine you." Luffy looked at her, at her kind, sympathetic face, and nodded. She put a hand on his shoulder, and Zoro followed Luffy and Doctor Koushi as she led them through the hallway. Robin picked up a newspaper and began to flip through half-heartedly, solemn beyond words. Sanji sighed, fingers twitching for want of a cigarette.

"I just can't believe any of this. It happened so fast!" He pulled his lighter out, hitting the flint to gnaw at his stress. "It's all I've been able to think about! What if Luffy'd had that kid? It would have been one of the greatest kids in history, not to mention a great addition to the crew!"

_Sanji imagined himself in a few years, still cooking for the Straw Hat pirates, but their ship was larger, their crew was wealthy and successful, and his food was world-renowned. However, he had a favorite diner that came to him by herself every day, just before lunch time. Sanji extinguished his cigarette and eagerly awaited his regular as she approached, in her pigtails and bare feet, past the other faceless crew members._

_"Mini-mossball!" Sanji laughed, and she laughed in return, her bright eyes glimmering in admiration of the cook. He reached over and fluffed her green hair, and she rocked on her feet._

_"Chef Sanji, I'm ready for my special bento box!" She chirped, holding her hands out. "Please?"_

_"Just as greedy as your dad, eh?" He chuckled, turning around and pulling her bento box off the shelf. "Let's see… I've got a nice pile of fried rice, your tamago tomodachi, tako sausages, and your very favorite- usagi ringo!" He held up the apple slices, cut into the shapes of rabbits. He set it all in her little box, quickly arranging the vegetables and fruits to look like a happy garden of rabbits, chicks, and octopi. She clapped happily as he showed it to her._

_"Chef Sanji, your bento is the best ever!" She clambered up over the kitchen counter and planted a big kiss on his cheek. He grinned warmly at the happy toddler._

_"Ah! Mellorine! Such a sweet girl! No wonder you're my favorite customer!"_

"It would've been so cool to have a kid around," Sanji grumbled, and he got to his feet. "I need a smoke. Now." With that, he strode back into the street, pulling a cigarette out even before he reached the door. Nami sighed as he left, resting her head on her palm and looking at the ground.

"He's right, you know. I wish there was more I could have done. I wouldn't have minded seeing a little kid around. I guess… it would have made our crew a little more complete."

_Nami's imagination placed her in her study, poring over a map she was working on. She had books and books of completed regional maps, records and information beside her desk. She was working hard documenting the major features of the last island they passed, until the sounds of small tamping feet distracted her._

_"Miss Nami?" A small voice called, and Nami turned, raising the light on her work lamp to brighten her dark study. A little girl with green hair was clutching a piece of paper to her chest and grinning proudly. _

_"Hey, come in!" Nami waved the girl in, and she bounded over to Nami's desk._

_"Miss Nami, that map is so cool! I tried to make a map too, see?" She put her paper down, and Nami smiled. The little girl had drawn a sloppy "map" of the ship, complete with stick-figure drawings of where all the crew members could be found. "Look, see, there's Mister Sanji and Mister Usopp and there's Daddy and Daddy, and there's you!" The girl beamed, as Nami chuckled softly._

_"Wow, I'm very impressed! Have you been doing your reading like Miss Robin and I told you to?"_

_"Yes yes, lots of reading!" The girl bobbed her head. "I wanna be just as smart as you, Miss Nami!"_

_"Well, it's good to have ambitions," Nami replied, giving the little girl a tangerine and a big smile. She smiled back, a smile wider than her father's._

"God, it's just not fair," Nami moaned, throwing her hands up. "Why didn't I figure it out before? I feel like a fool! I would have protected him if I'd just known he needed protection!"

"Nami, I don't think there's anything we could have done. Luffy's stubborn, you know that. Even if you had known he was in a delicate state, hell, even when we did know, he wouldn't have let us protect him," Usopp reassured her gently, but Nami simply covered her face. "Meanwhile, what am I supposed to think? He made me his first mate for a reason- he must trust me a lot! He didn't even tell me! Truth be told, I've always loved kids, I wouldn't have been upset! Hell, it'd have been great to have someone who'd believe my stories! I had a whole crew of kids who adored me, just think how I would do with the kid of a friend!"

_Usopp imagined a stormy night, with thunderbolts that shook the world, and he was hiding in the storage room while the rest of the crew battened down the hatches and tried to steer the Going Merry back on course. He quivered in fear, until he heard crying and terrified little feet stomping down the hall._

_"Daddy! Where's Daddy?!" Little green pigtails were the first thing Usopp noticed, as he looked at the little girl pounding at the door to the upper deck. She had a teddy bear in one hand, and eyes full of terrified tears._

_"It's just rain, kiddo, don't cry!" Usopp assured the girl nervously. She whirled around, and quickly grabbed onto his leg._

_"Captain Usopp, I'm scared!" She wailed, and he crouched down near her._

_"That's okay. I'm scared too. Let's go be scared together."_

_"Okay," the girl sniffled, rubbing her eyes and nose. _

_"I'll tell you a story about my old pirate crew. I've got millions of 'em! I'll tell you about how Captain Usopp single-handedly brought down a whole fleet of bad pirates while riding the back of a whale and freed my nine thousand supporters from slavery!"_

_"Captain Usopp, you're so cool," the girl mumbled, still grabbing his leg as he went back to hide in the storage room again._

"It's just not fair. That clown is a monster, and I hate that he tried to take Luffy's happiness away," Usopp snapped and clenched his fists. "Next time we face him, I won't be afraid of him. He's the kind of person who would try and kill a kid, he's a real coward!"

"I need air," Nami gasped softly, and rushed from the waiting room to the street. Usopp shook his head, before burying his face in a newspaper like Robin had. He didn't even care about the news, but he didn't want anybody to see the tears sliding down his nose.

Chopper, in his walk point, had found a snowy field to graze in, but instead of nibbling at the dry tundra he wearily flopped down in the snow instead. He felt like a failure of a doctor: he had failed to watch for his patient's best interests. He buried his nose in snow, thinking hard on what he could have done differently. Could he have stopped Luffy from starting the fight with Zoro? Could he have helped Luffy stop the cannonball, taken the hit, or given him a chance to step out of the way? He didn't know. He could barely think. He only could think of the daydreams he'd had…

_"Okay, little miss, time for your next inoculation! I had to find this special medicine just for you, and it's very important for your health, so don't be scared!" Chopped filled a syringe with fluid and tapped it to ensure there were no air bubbles. The little girl he imagined was sitting on a crate and squeezing Luffy's hand anxiously. Luffy had a big smile on his face, fluffing her green hair with one hand._

_"Don't worry, sweetie," Luffy chirped. "It's only a pointy little needle."_

_"Luffy," Chopper hissed, approaching the girl with needle in hoof. She chewed her lower lip and whined. _

_"Please, Doctor Chopper, the needle looks so poky, it's gonna hurt!" Chopper grinned with glee when she called him a doctor, but quickly straightened his face._

_"Come on, it's not so bad!" Chopper made a funny face, trying to distract her as he slowly moved the needle towards her. She whimpered as he tried to make her laugh and edged closer, until he finally could grab her arm and hold it as he jabbed her. She broke into tears and screamed, and Luffy gently patted her back. Chopper quickly put a bandage on the pinprick, and Luffy scooped his daughter into his arms with a big smile._

_"See, not so bad at all!" The little girl continued to sniffle as Luffy hugged her. "Now, since you got your medicine, you get to ride the doctor!"_

_"Really, Daddy? Doctor Chopper, can I ride you?" Her little eyes lit up, and she turned back to the reindeer, who grinned eagerly and shifted into walk point. Luffy set the little girl on the reindeer's back, and she held on tight to his neck as he began to trot up and down the hallway. His heart warmed at the sound of the girl's happy laughter, his eyes welling up with tears of joy._

Chopper hadn't known that reindeer could cry, even a blue-nosed reindeer who'd eaten the Devil Fruit who was using his reindeer form. Despair had settled herself in amongst the crew, walking between them and tugging on all of their heartstrings. Her influence was tearing them all to shreds.

-------------------

Doctor Koushi finished taking notes from what Luffy told her about the course of his pregnancy, and sighed to herself as she flipped back to review. Zoro offered Luffy another tissue, unable to meet his eyes, and he tried to smear the tears he couldn't suppress off his face again as Zoro pressed his forehead into his palms. "Well, before we go forward with this, I'd like to perform a sonogram so we know what we're operating on. You don't have to look, I just want to see for myself." Luffy shrugged his shoulders apathetically. Doctor Koushi smiled sympathetically, and patted his shoulder comfortingly. "If it makes you feel any better, the fact that you carried your baby this long is a good sign. If you want to try and have a baby again, I'm sure that as long as nothing catastrophic happens, you'll succeed."

"Thank you," Luffy said quietly. Zoro covered his face sadly, and rubbed Luffy's hand as Doctor Koushi left to get an ultrasound machine cart.

"Do you think you want to try again?" He asked, giving Luffy's hand a tender squeeze. Luffy shook his head.

"Not right now, Zoro. I don't even want to think about it. I just want to sleep for the next couple of years and forget the last few months." Zoro frowned sadly, and he removed Luffy's hat and fluffed his hair.

"Luffy, I know you're upset, but you're not acting like yourself at all. I've never seen you this serious about anything. There was nothing anybody could do, and we have to accept it." Zoro tried to rub his back in comfort, but Luffy pushed his arm away and glared at Zoro.

"I hate it, Zoro. I've never given up on anything before in my entire life, and when it's finally really important, I botched it! I hate that I didn't save her, that I didn't protect her." Luffy's eyes were dark, and he yanked his hat back onto his head. "I might as well have killed her myself. I almost wish I had."

"Luffy…" Zoro was interrupted as Doctor Koushi returned, and Luffy looked away from Zoro. He went apathetically limp as Doctor Koushi unbuttoned the bottom of his shirt and spread the conductor gel on his belly, and stared into the wall as she turned the machine on and pressed the ultrasound wand to his flesh. Zoro moved to stand next to her and look at the monitor. "Sorry, Doctor, but I haven't been present for his last sonograms," he mumbled, keeping his voice low so Luffy wouldn't hear him. "I kind of want to see my daughter, just once."

"I understand, Mr. Roronoa." Doctor Koushi nodded, and Zoro hung by her shoulder, watching the shifting shapes intently. Finally, she focused on something that looked vaguely like a baby. Zoro stared at the little body- her head, her face with its eyelids and nose and mouth apparent, her tiny little torso, her legs curled up close to her, her arms folded, and one thumb stuck in her mouth. Zoro's eyes darted across the screen as the image flickered and moved, and he tried to take it all in, wondering if he'd ever see anything comparable. He knew, somberly, that he had created it, and it was because of him that it was gone.

Doctor Koushi's mouth opened as she focused on the baby. "Oh, god…" Zoro's jaw dropped, as he saw the same thing she was seeing. She put down the wand, picked a stethoscope off the table and pressed it to a clean spot of Luffy's middle, barely remembering to pop the tubes in her ears in her shock and excitement.

-------------------------

Nami had eventually returned to the waiting room with Usopp and Robin, and Sanji followed her in. He still twitched nervously for lack of constant nicotine intake, but he was too nervous to wait outside in the cold for news. Zoro finally emerged from the examination area, stretching his arms behind his head. Usopp and Nami both rushed to him, and Sanji and Robin rose from their seats a bit more slowly, as Nami squeezed Zoro's shoulders.

"Did it go okay? That was so quick! Is Luffy going to be okay? Does he have to stay here for a few days to recover?" Nami asked, her speech rapid in her apprehension. Her hands were shaking. Zoro nodded.

"Yeah, everything went fine, Luffy's fine. Why would he have to stay here a few days?" Zoro frowned slightly, as Nami gritted her teeth in anger at Zoro's apparent stupidity and his utter calm.

"Well, he just had major surgery, he's going to need to recover! Where is he, can we see him now?"

"He's coming, he's fine," Zoro chuckled, a smile shifting his features. The other four looked bewildered and angry.

"How can you be happy at a time like this, shit-for-brains? How can he be fine?" Sanji demanded fiercely. Zoro smiled a bit wider.

"The baby's fine. No surgery necessary. See for yourself." Zoro nodded to the opening doors, as Luffy strolled out with Doctor Koushi smiling at his side. Luffy had his usual smile back on his face, accompanied by drying tears of joy.

"I'm just so glad she's alive!" Luffy laughed, and Doctor Koushi smiled as well.

"After what you told me, I'm surprised too. Fifteen minutes of drowning and still alive? She must have gills! Judging from what I saw, she's absolutely perfect; I strongly doubt she'll even have brain damage. Her motor skills are actually quite advanced for her gestational age. I was just so shocked when she started sucking her thumb!" Luffy giggled happily, rubbing his eyes again, and Zoro smiled warmly at Luffy. Bewilderment and shock turned to happiness, and Nami, unable to hold back, threw her arms around Luffy's waist.

"It's a girl?" She cried, squeezing Luffy in her arms. Luffy bobbed his head up and down in a happy nod. "And she's alive?" Luffy nodded again, even harder. "This is just so great!" She laughed aloud and hugged Luffy tight, one hand squeezing his belly, and Zoro chuckled as Usopp latched onto Luffy from the other side in a happy hug. Sanji chuckled and wrapped his arms around both Nami and Luffy to join the hug. Doctor Koushi giggled softly as the crew celebrated their captain. Zoro and Robin glanced at one another. Robin smiled slightly, and offered Zoro a horizontal fist fleur. He returned it with a pound, as the crew ushered Luffy out into the street to find Chopper.

"Congratulations, swordsman. You're still going to be a father." Robin went to the receptionist to pay the bill, and Zoro smirked.

"Yeah. My kid is just plain awesome. I think I love her already."

________________________________________________________________________

End Notes: And some of you thought I'd let the baby die. How could I be so cruel?

Did you like it? Review.

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Look for chapter 10 next week!


	10. Baby Love

**Genuine Treasure**

Author's Notes: Thanks for all the love and support! I'm glad you are enjoying the story. Those of you looking for fanart- check the comments, because reviewer Monika has posted an adorable illustration of the proposed mini-mossball and Sanji in Sanji's flash-forward fantasy. I also got my friend Ms. Boston on deviantart to do a drawing.

Unfortunately, I discovered that FF-dot-net does not like posting outside links, so I'll post the links this way. Just replace the dots and slashes!

ms-boston(dot)deviantart(dot)com(slash)art(slash)Genuine-Treasure-Fanart-141378544

poztedeluz(dot)deviant art(dot)com(slash)art(slash)Genuine-Treasure-142233465

I'd like to thank Monika for her lovely work personally. Mini-mossball is such a cutie!

I'd also like to warn you, this is a long chapter! Clear some time in your busy schedule for this one!

**Disclaimer: I still own nothing, but I would do anything to borrow Ace for about twenty minutes. **

**Chapter 10: Baby Love**

**Suggested Tracks: "All These Things That I've Done," The Killers; "Perpetual Motion Machine," Modest Mouse**

That very day, Luffy noticed the change. The coming crew member had become a source of great excitement for the entire crew. Even though the baby had survived Luffy's last incident, nobody wanted to take any risks. Luffy had let them avoid doing anything to help him for long enough, so they decided to make up for it. Nami vowed to keep a good eye out for storms and avoid them if at all possible. Usopp planned out for any enemy ships in an attempt to avoid danger. Sanji had decided to avoid ingredients that had ever even been suggested as a risk to pregnant women, and ensured that Luffy's meals were well-rounded, just as he did for the girls on a regular basis. He also decided to ensure that the bell peppers on the ship went to Luffy. Chopper adjusted Luffy's vitamin regiment according to Doctor Koushi's recommendations, and wanted to keep an even closer eye on the man. It seemed that mostly everyone was in baby love, inexplicably enchanted by the thought of something small and cute wearing pigtails. Luffy thought that his crew was being silly, but he had something else to focus on: Zoro. Luffy spent the evening watching Zoro to see how he got back with the others.

Zoro hadn't expected to fall right back into place as though he'd never been gone. Shortly after setting off, Usopp decided to try and make it difficult for him.

"Well, I guess you'll have to fight me for your position back or take another position!" Usopp declared proudly, as he popped his goggles on. Zoro cocked an eyebrow as Usopp faced him on the deck of the ship. "I'm the first mate now!" Zoro studied Usopp for a moment, from his twitching nose to his shaking knees. Zoro finally shrugged.

"Fine, I'll be sniper." Zoro walked over to the cannon on the ship and turned it to point at Usopp. Usopp squawked like a parrot and ran for his life.

"You can be first mate! You can be first mate!" Luffy had watched and laughed the whole time, and Zoro joined in the laughter. They didn't speak to each other.

Sanji was almost more of a problem than Usopp had been. When he thought Luffy wasn't looking or listening, Sanji gave Zoro hell about his absence.

"You abandoned him," Sanji hissed the first chance he had Zoro alone. "You might as well have been beating him, leaving him alone when he needed you. Goddamn monster. You wouldn't know how to treat a woman if you could get one, and you obviously don't know how to treat a man." Zoro grumbled and tried to leave the kitchen with his sake. "Hey. Asshole. Not done with you." Sanji stalked after him. "You were his champion, his first mate, his chief warrior. He trusted you like he did nobody else. You've done some dumb shit for his sake, and you left him like that?" Zoro ignored it as much as he could for Luffy's sake. He knew very well that whether or not they had known it at the time, the crew had taken care of Luffy in his absence, and he did owe them. He was sure that if he didn't toe the line, he would be in trouble.

He knew that Luffy wasn't the type to hold grudges; once an apology was received, he forgave and forgot quickly, and he was usually slow to anger, but Zoro supposed that in his current condition, he had a shorter fuse. As such, Zoro didn't think he could handle arguing with Luffy when he was wrong and Luffy was up to the brim of his hat in hormones. He went to Robin, who was serenely reading.

"So, do you think I'll be able to actually get back with Luffy?" He asked nonchalantly. Robin didn't even look up.

"Just how good of terms do you think you're on with him right now, anyhow?" Robin asked him.

"I doubt they're very good," Zoro replied despondently.

"Have you apologized?"

"Only a thousand times."

"Did he accept?"

"He wasn't talking."

"You apologized while he was grieving?"

"Well, it was my fault, wasn't it?"

Robin simply sighed. "You should try talking to Luffy and organize how you're going to work things."

Zoro still didn't trust Robin entirely, but he knew that she knew a thing or two about how relationships should work. He waited at lights out for Luffy to come into the cabin, hoping he'd have an opportunity to talk to Luffy alone. However, when Chopper came in, closely followed by Usopp and Sanji, Zoro got frustrated. "Where's Luffy?"

"He wouldn't come in," Sanji muttered. "Said something about waiting for you." Zoro scowled, and glanced out the porthole. They weren't far off from the Winter climate, and it was still snowing.

"That idiot. He'll catch a cold." Both Sanji and Usopp were shocked to hear Zoro, of all people, say that, and so neither could say anything in response as he stalked out to find Luffy. He knew exactly where Luffy would be, and climbed to the crow's nest. Luffy was sitting against the edge, piling up the snow around him into a lumpy little snowman. Zoro vaulted the edge and settled himself next to him. "Hey. Let's go inside."

"Why?" Luffy glanced at Zoro. "We did everything here."

"What do you mean?"

Luffy looked away from Zoro again. "Well, when I decided I wanted to be with you, I brought you up here." Luffy shrugged a little., and Zoro glanced to him with a frown.

"What do you mean, you decided to be with me?"

"I mean, I started figuring we were more than friends. This whole crew is like a family, but you really felt like even more than that for me. I think that we work well together as partners, even though we've got absolutely nothing in common." Luffy grinned. "I guess that when you took my hands and danced with me, you made me feel happy, and then I sorta guessed that maybe what I felt for you was love. So I took you up here when you were drunk, and then you told me you loved me. And I liked that. I didn't think you really meant it, but I liked it, so I wanted to try being in love. I liked that too." Zoro didn't know what to say, and Luffy kept talking. "Everything was the same, but we could do dirty things to one another and when we did my heart would beat really fast and I wouldn't be able to stop smiling and wanted the feeling of being close to you to last forever. I was really happy. And then I found out we were supposed to have a baby. And I wanted to be happy."

"Luffy, I'm sorry," Zoro muttered, rubbing the back of his head. Luffy shrugged a little and rested his hands on the side of his belly.

"Yeah. You've told me that. And I can't forgive you for leaving me, because you did mean to do it and did it to hurt me. And you did hurt me."

"I wanted to apologize six months ago for that. Ten seconds after you stormed away, I regretted it. Regret sucks, and I don't want to do it again," Zoro grumbled, folding his arms and looking away. "But I guess it can't be helped. Thanks for letting me back on the crew. I'll do what I can for our kid." Zoro stood to depart, but Luffy reached out and grabbed him by the sash.

"Our kid, Zoro?" Zoro turned around, looking down at Luffy, who had cracked a genuine smile. Zoro grinned.

"Damn right. Our kid. Yours and mine. I didn't think I'd ever want to be a father. I found out the hard way that I really, really did." Zoro knelt next to Luffy and folded his hands over his round, warm middle. "And when I said I loved you, I meant it, and I still do. I don't have any reason to lie to you."

"So, let's go back six months." Luffy laid his hands on Zoro's. "Pretend it's that day. Pretend you didn't run off when I tried to hit you. Pretend I didn't sail off without you."

Zoro chuckled sharply. "Sure, I'll humor you." He cleared his throat. "Uh, Luffy, I had some time to think, and I don't want to leave your crew or you. Let's do this together. I want our kid."

"Okay!" Luffy threw his arms around Zoro in an intense snuggle, and Zoro fell back onto the deck with Luffy pressed against him. Zoro laughed softly, running his hands around the small of Luffy's back and holding him close. "And you really mean it this time?"

"Yeah, I really do. And I meant it when I said I would care for you. And that means…" Zoro pushed himself to his feet with Luffy still pressed against his chest and slung him over his shoulder. "You're going to catch death in this damned cold!"

That was the first night Zoro and Luffy slept in the same cot in front of the other men. After that, Zoro officially vacated his cot (which he'd rarely slept in anyway) for Luffy's. The other men in their cots simply ignored them, because they were quiet and not doing anything indecent, so Zoro and Luffy had peace. The single bed was something of a tight squeeze with Luffy's now quickly-swelling waistline, but Zoro was completely willing to squeeze up next to Luffy.

Zoro had forgotten just how much he liked being next to Luffy, their skin rubbing and their bodies warm with one another's heat. Luffy curled up on his side, clinging to Zoro like a child sleeping with a parent. He wrapped one arm over Zoro's chest like he was hugging a teddy bear, and Zoro rested with one arm around Luffy's waist, slowly rubbing the swell of flesh at his hips and feeling the baby's occasional movements. Zoro slept so rarely at night out of a strong desire to feel his daughter's tossing and turning, glad to know she could even do these things. He would whisper small encouragements to her, begging her to get big and strong so she could be born healthy, wondering if the gods he didn't believe in would hear and answer his prayers. These moments in the deep midnight hours where Zoro silently bonded with his unborn child only made him feel more protective.

Zoro was good on his word to take care of Luffy, even if it made Luffy kind of miserable. He did not let Luffy hang off the figurehead or climb the rigging. He did not let Luffy do stupid stunts. If there was even a sign of danger, he would usher Luffy into the cabin. He would not let Luffy fight unless he was right beside him, and if Luffy looked like he was even starting to lose, he would be removed. As the weeks flew by, Zoro found himself trying to keep Luffy safe at every turn, simply because he was rambunctious and unstoppable, and Zoro would not see anything else happen to their child. Thankfully for Zoro's quickly fraying nerves, Luffy did seem to be slowing down as he passed his thirty-sixth week.

They had landed on a peaceful Spring island, with no other apparent pirate ships in dock and a large, open-air market. They docked discreetly and prepared for a relaxing trip ashore. Before leaving the ship, Chopper took his usual weekly photograph of Luffy. Instead of goofing around for the camera, Luffy stood still, slightly slouched, and only yawned. Zoro surveyed Chopper's photo chronicle, watching Luffy's progress from the twelfth week forward. He chuckled softly at Luffy's silly grins and goofy poses, and compared it to Luffy as he stood now. His smile was more sedate, his eyes sleepy, and his entire body was a little bit thicker. Luffy was fortunate not to have stretch marks- since his body was stretchy enough as it was- but he was definitely stretched. He looked like he'd just eaten a very big meal, and his normal shirt no longer fit without being unbuttoned. He was wearing an oversized red T-shirt instead. "Chopper, anything we should be expecting?" Zoro asked, as Luffy still leaned sleepily against the wall.

"Well, Luffy's almost term, just a week away from being considered full term, so Luffy, you should be expecting some occasional contractions." Chopper flipped a few pages over in the book on his desk. "Unless they're regular and increasingly stronger, no worries. Also, if I'm right, the baby's turned head down by now." Chopper edged closer to Luffy, took his heavy point, and gave his belly a few quick manipulations with his human hands. As he turned back to brain point, his face brightened. "And she is! Head's right here." He rubbed his hooves just above Luffy's pubic bone. Luffy giggled, apparently tickled. "And you'll probably feel more tired and a lot of pressure on your lower internal organs, especially when the baby shifts lower into your pelvis for delivery. Probably have more trouble sleeping, too. You'll want to take it as easy as possible." Chopper closed his book. "You're in the home stretch, though. Even though you're not due for a few more weeks, if she were born in a few days, she'd be able to breathe on her own with no trouble at all!" Zoro looked outside for a moment in thought.

"Chopper, how is this kid going to be born?" Zoro asked, turning back to the reindeer and rubber man with a slight frown on his face. Chopper blinked a few times in thought, and Luffy's face went blank. "I mean, normally, the kid comes out the way the genetic material went in, but…"

"That is a very good question," Luffy mused, scratching his head. Zoro gritted his teeth a bit, but sighed. He knew it wasn't Luffy's fault that he didn't know. Chopper had told him how little information there was, and Zoro simply glared at the reindeer, hoping for some answer.

Chopper nervously began to scratch his chin in thought. "Maybe we'll have to get a doctor to perform a C-section… and I can't carry any anesthetic medicine, which means we'll have to be on an island with a real clinic… which means… Luffy, if you went into labor, how long do you think you would be able to take the pain?"

"Real long time," Luffy chirped, giving Chopper a thumbs up.

"Well, I don't know about that, it's really painful," Zoro muttered, resting his elbow on Luffy's head. "You should see a specialist. Maybe they'll be able to figure out just which orifice this kid is supposed to come out of." Luffy moved his head, and Zoro toppled to the side.

"Okay, that's what I'll do today. What are you going to do today?" Luffy chirped, turning to Zoro with a grin. Zoro chuckled a bit, and stood up.

"I'm going to get ready for the baby to arrive in my own way." Zoro kissed Luffy atop the hat, and exited the storage room. Luffy followed behind him in a fairly awkward waddle. His body, especially his hips, had adjusted to his own swollen shape, and his locomotion had adjusted to that. Chopper took his walk point and trotted behind them. "Luffy, while we're thinking about the future, what family name should we give her?"

"Yours, of course," Luffy replied, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You are her Daddy, after all. I have the same family name as my dad, and my dad's dad." Zoro raised his brow in realization; Luffy didn't want his child to share the surname of his feared grandfather and his unknown father.

"I got it," Zoro chuckled, as they shuffled up to the top deck through the galley. Sanji waved to Luffy, and stuck his tongue out at Zoro as he passed. Zoro rolled his eyes, and Luffy took a seat by the top of the ramp as Zoro approached the rest of the crew. "Is everybody ready?"

"Ready!" Most of them answered.

"What are your plans?" Zoro looked around at the others.

"Get information about the island and islands near here, go shopping."

"Going shopping for provisions."

"Going with Sanji," Usopp said.

"Going with Luffy, and then going shopping with Nami." Robin looked at Chopper, who nudged his head against Sanji to indicate where he was going. "What about you, swordsman?"

"Well, I'm going with Luffy, and then I'll join Nami in the marketplace. Nami, I'm going to need your help. Yours too, Chopper." Chopper stomped his hooves a bit, obviously excited to be needed. Zoro turned back to Luffy, who was eating a pepper. "Luffy, after you see the doctor, what are your plans?"

"I'm probably going to find somewhere to take a nap," Luffy replied, before letting out a big, filled-mouth yawn. Zoro chuckled. Most of the crew was amused at his lighthearted attitude towards Luffy's laziness; before, it would have garnered a fierce snap and a slap upside the head, but with Luffy almost comically big with child, Zoro found Luffy's sleepiness adorable. After deciding on a meeting time, the crew departed the ship. Zoro walked down the ramp with Luffy at his side. A few people stared at Luffy, more than likely wondering at his weight, and though Zoro felt a bit self-conscious, Luffy didn't seem to care. Robin hung at Zoro's side as the rest of their crew split up. "Sanji, don't forget the peppers!"

"Don't tell me how to shop!" Sanji called back, though Luffy could tell he was teasing. Luffy rubbed his stomach a bit.

"Man, I'm so hungry! Maybe after I see a doctor, I can get some good food." Luffy looked around the open air market at the available booths. It was a veritable paradise for shoppers, and Luffy tried to think of all the things he might want to buy. He had a one-track mind, though- filling his face. He could smell takoyaki on a grill, ramen in frying pans, meat on a spit, and sweet sauce for dango. His stomach growled anxiously, and he prodded his complaining middle. "Shh," he hissed, and silently plotted which booths he and the hungry baby would hit first.

Zoro, meanwhile, had been making another shopping list in his mind. He was thinking about baby clothes, furniture, and toys, and about a bigger cot. However, now that they were out in public together, he was thinking about what people who saw them would think. He wrapped one protective arm around Luffy, glaring around at people who were staring at him. Luffy was too blissfully oblivious to realize what people must have been thinking about him, simply because they saw the same thing that the others had seen before they knew the truth- two men, one of which clearly needed a few years on a strict diet. If Luffy noticed, he didn't even remotely care. They strolled into the clinic together, and Luffy went to the receptionist.

"Hi. I got a baby in me, and I'm trying to figure out how to get it out," Luffy chirped, and the receptionist's jaw dropped in horror.

"You ate a baby?"

"No, no, no," Zoro groaned, stepping in front of Luffy. "He's pregnant. No, he does not want to terminate. He is four weeks short of his due date. We want to see a specialist on childbirth."

"Ohhh, I've only heard about this kind of thing," the receptionist whispered, and she quickly rushed to the intercom to call for attention. Zoro covered his eyes in humiliation as she babbled the whole situation into the speaker of a Den-Den-Mushi. Suddenly, there were six doctors from various fields arguing over intercom for which one would get to see Luffy. The Den-Den Mushi had no idea what to do, no more than the doctors did. Finally, they allowed the obstetrician to send a nurse for Luffy, but the other five still argued that they wanted to examine him. They were talking about X-rays and biopsies, to see where the baby was being carried, and how it was was being nourished, and even as the nurses led Luffy and Zoro into an examination room, the argument continued.

Zoro was thankful that they were seeing a female doctor; from what Luffy had told him, he'd gotten little support from male doctors. Doctor Waru immediately locked the door when Luffy came in, and she shook both of their hands and turned off the still-squawking Den-Den Mushi intercom. "I must apologize for all the commotion. These Devil's Fruit pregnancies have become slightly less rare in recent years, and we have a lot of research doctors here. Let's start with a few questions. From what I heard of the situation, you're just a few weeks short of due."

"That's right," Luffy replied. He seemed completely unfazed at the hubbub he had caused, and was contently rubbing his belly. Doctor Waru smiled.

"And you're excited?"

"Very excited," Zoro affirmed calmly. "We just want to know if he's going to have to be operated on to actually birth it."

"Well, I can give you an exam and try and see if any of your orifices are connected. I assume you're the father, which would imply the baby was conceived during anal sex." Doctor Waru turned to Zoro, wearing a very cool smile. Zoro turned a bit red, but nodded. "I suppose that's a good place to start." The smile left Luffy's face, and he looked somewhat confused.

"How are you going to start?"

"Well, it's very simple." Doctor Waru reached into a drawer and pulled out a very thin metal rod, and turned on the ultrasound machine. "I'm going to perform a pelvic exam, of sorts, and find out if you have some path to the womb in your body." Luffy and Zoro both looked horrified, as they realized exactly where the rod would be going.

Fifteen minutes later, the exam was over. They wore identical faces, which clearly said, "Let's not speak of this again." Robin smiled at them as they exited the examination area, but quickly stopped as she saw the dark look on both of their faces. "Captain--"

"I'm going back to the ship for a nap," Luffy mumbled, walking directly past Robin without looking at her, fists clenched at his sides. Robin looked to Zoro.

"Bad news?"

"Well, no, we've got some good news, I think. It was just unpleasant." Zoro shuddered a bit. Robin frowned in confusion.

"So, he's not going to have to be operated on?"

"No, but I think he wishes that were the case right about now." Zoro kept his voice low as the two of them strolled out to the market.

"What exactly is the case, then?" Robin asked, as Zoro's eyes passed over the various stalls.

"Well, she found that he's developed a sort of second path. His body probably made it shortly after he and I started having sex, and that leads into a makeshift womb." Zoro's nose wrinkled as he tried to repeat what the doctor had told him. "So, he's going to have labor like any woman would, and he's going to end up giving birth through this… new hole." Zoro swallowed hard. Robin's face was bright pink, and she would have stopped Zoro three sentences ago if she wasn't so curious. Zoro wrinkled his nose. "Yeah, I don't get it either. All I get is that Luffy's going to be able to give birth naturally, and now he's mad at me and lots of other stuff."

"Oh?" Robin looked at Zoro, who still wore a stony expression. He nodded.

"He's upset at the way the doctor examined him. He's upset that I didn't defend him from where she put the rod. He's also upset that, apparently, I should have noticed this alternate orifice-" Robin winced- "And I should have informed him of it- well, I tried to explain that I didn't know where things were going, like I was paying attention, I was just trying to fuck his brains out-" Robin clamped her hands over her ears, and Zoro rolled his eyes and moved them away. He gave her a look that clearly said 'You asked.' "But other than that, he said he was just upset and he can't understand why."

"It's probably just hormones. I expect he'll start feeling his first contractions any day now. Considering what you've told me, I wouldn't be surprised if he was in some pain now." Robin spoke delicately, interlacing her fingers nervously. Zoro scoffed.

"Luffy told me I'd know if he was feeling pain. He said he would make me hurt as much as the baby was making him hurt." Robin glanced at Zoro, who wore a joking smirk, and smiled softly.

"He's going to break your bones, isn't he?"

"No doubt he's going to try. Let's try to cheer him up a bit; I bet some baby stuff will get him feeling all warm and fuzzy again." Zoro stuffed his hands into his pockets and began to browse through a furniture stall.

**-----------------------**

Luffy had somehow gotten distracted from his anger by the smell of food again. He settled on a kebob stand and had loaded up on skewers of roasted peppers and hot meat. He held all his sticks between his fingers and munched on bites of meat and half-blackened peppers alternatively. He had briefly forgotten about how he'd lost control of his own body and happily stuffed his face. He waddled his way down the road contently and ate as he walked, but he didn't realize he was being followed. People around him did, seeing the beautiful woman with a mace cast over her shoulder just a few yards back from him with a gleam in her eye.

"Monkey D. Luffy. You're looking healthy." Luffy turned around, blinked curiously at the woman, and grinned.

"Thanks! I guess I've been eating pretty well!" He patted his belly and kept walking. She kept following him.

"Don't tell me you don't remember me, Luffy!" The mace landed in front of him, and Luffy stopped in place. He turned back to look at the woman again.

"Oi, I wasn't bothering you!" Luffy quickly cleared his skewers and turned his body around. "Now, who are you?" He scowled, and she rolled her eyes. Luffy studied her pretty, slender face, her thin, exposed waist, and her white cowboy hat. He looked at the mace. "You're from… You're from Loguetown, right?"

"Idiot," she groaned, before stomping her feet and glaring at Luffy. "Alvida! Lady Alvida!"

"The most beautiful woman on the ocean!" Several smitten men around her cried. Luffy, wide-eyed, thought for a moment.

"Ohh, that fat lady."

"Asshole!" Alvida snapped. "You know, I know what your crew did to Captain Buggy. You know how much of a pain in the ass it was to put him back together last time? It was almost as bad this time. We had to unfreeze his limbs!"

"I wasn't even there. I was swimming," Luffy growled. "He snuck up on me. That's not cool."

"We're pirates. Our only goal was to take you down. I don't know why Buggy's so fixed on taking you out now, but he's convinced you're dead." Alvida slid past Luffy and picked up her mace. "I'm going to make him right." She took a swing at Luffy, and Luffy realized that even if he was rubber, his baby probably was not. He jumped up and landed on the mace, wincing as his foot dug into the spike. He jumped as she swung again and took the hit on his head. He didn't feel the pain- he never did- but the impact sent him into a wall. Luffy groaned, and as he dropped back from the wall, he hugged his torso in fear. He'd come too close to losing his little girl before, he didn't want to lose her now. He knew that anything that happened to him was going to happen to her, and he couldn't imagine the nightmare of that mace crashing into his belly and crushing the tiny baby within…

"I don't want to fight you!" Luffy yelled, and he turned around just as Alvida swung again. He managed to jump onto her mace as it came down. "Gum-gum rocket!" He launched himself up to the ceiling and dashed across the rooftops. He heard Alvida screaming after him, but knew that she could no more give chase than she could fight him. He slumped to the ground behind a water tower and pressed himself as deep into the shadows as he could. He settled himself there and waited for Alvida to give up the chase so he could continue his business. Still, he pounded an angry fist into the roof beside him. "I can't fight you… I can't fight anyone… I can't fight at all!" He groaned to himself. "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

**-----------------------**

It didn't take long for Chopper and Nami to join Robin and Zoro in shopping, and Nami quickly divided tasks up between them based on the interests of each individual. Robin was assigned to basic baby needs, as she was the most motherly and sensible and seemed to know a thing or two about babies. Zoro selected a crib and a few storage items, since he would be the one doing the building. Nami tried to pick out baby clothes, but Zoro consistently vetoed anything that was pink or cutesy or that looked like anything Nami would wear: "Come on, Nami, my daughter is not a fashion doll!" Chopper was asked to help carry some of the heavier items, and he was utterly pleased just to be helping. They finally came together, and reviewed their purchases as they strapped them onto Chopper.

"Diapers, bottles, receiving blankets, clean-up rags, a changing mat, baby soap and shampoo, baby tub, little combs and nail clippers and just about anything else they sell here designed for babies," Robin listed, going through her packages.

"I've got shelves and a crib and a crib mattress, some crib sheets, and a mobile. I, uh, also got this." Zoro held up a fluffy white sheep plushie with a smiling, embroidered black face, his head tilted away from the plush toy in manly shame. Chopper almost seemed to grin, despite his reindeer face, and Nami 'aww'ed affectionately, before reviewing her bags.

"I tried to get some baby clothes, but most of it is boring stuff. Black or green or yellow or red or blue, nothing pink or purple or girly, nothing cute," Nami listed, and she rolled her eyes. "I also got her a hat, because she's going to need a hat."

"Nami, I approved no hat," Zoro muttered, narrowing his eyes. Nami reached into one of the packages she carried and held up the hat she selected. "Well. That's just perfect." Zoro smirked, and Nami smiled proudly and nodded.

"I thought you'd say so."

The crew made their way back to the ship, only slightly conspicuous due to the overloaded reindeer in their party, and began to carry the packages into the cabin house. Sanji and Usopp were putting away the food and drink, and looked behind them.

"Aw, you went baby shopping without us!" Sanji groaned. "Nami-swan, lemme see what wonderful things you selected!" He began to dig through the bag of clothes, pulling out little baby pajamas and scrutinizing them. "Hey, there's nothing cute in here!"

"Zoro said no cute," Nami groaned, sinking onto the bench. Sanji scowled at Zoro.

"Hey, shit-for-brains, how are we gonna know it's a girl?"

"I'll know it's a girl, I'll be changing the diapers," Zoro snapped back, returning the scowl as he passed a the mattress down below to Robin. "I don't need you perving out on my girl." Zoro smirked a bit, but Sanji gritted his teeth.

"How dare you!" Sanji leaned forward, his cigarette breaking in his clenched teeth and fire in his eyes. "How dare you accuse me of being that kind of pervert! Stupid ass! I'll have you know I'd never try to date your kid! She'll be way too young for me!"

"Twisted freak!" Zoro barked in shock, going nose to nose with Sanji. "It was a joke!" Usopp got between the two, pushing them apart and holding each one back. He almost crumpled between them as they pushed forward to glare at one another again.

"Guys, quiet down! There's no need to argue like this!" Usopp wailed .

"No, he doesn't get it!" Sanji snapped, as he flipped a fresh cigarette to his lips. "Your daughter will be like a daughter to me, and I don't ever want you to think I'd ever hurt her! I probably care about her more than you do!"

"Asshole-" Zoro snarled, raising his hackles, but stopped himself. "Don't ever say that about my kid. It was a damn joke! Back off. I don't need anyone else breathing down my neck. We've all got work to do." Zoro shuffled back out to the deck to grab another piece of the crib, his face twisted, and Sanji grunted angrily to himself.

"It wasn't funny." Sanji turned to put rations away in the stock pantry, until Luffy popped his head into the galley from the lower deck.

"Yeah, I didn't think it was funny much either," Luffy said, before letting out a big yawn. Sanji chuckled and stubbed his cigarette, and Usopp and Nami groaned and covered their foreheads. Nami crouched to get a closer look at him.

"Luffy, are you okay?" He was somewhat flushed, his hair disheveled. She touched his forehead. "You don't feel warm."

"I'm just tired, Nami. I was trying to sleep. I don't get to do it too much."

"You don't?" Usopp let out a sharp laugh. "It seems like that's all you ever do now!" Nami and Sanji both gave Usopp a cold look, but Luffy didn't seem to mind.

"I do spend a lot of time trying to sleep, but I'm not sleeping for most of it," Luffy mumbled, scratching himself absentmindedly. "I keep getting woken up."

"Yeah, sorry about that, Zoro started it," Sanji muttered.

"No, I was awake. The kid won't let me sleep." Luffy gave his middle a prod, smiling affectionately. Nami smiled softly as well, and helped Luffy up the ladder.

"Are you being mischievous, little girl?" Nami asked Luffy's middle sweetly. Luffy looked confused, but put his hands over the bump as the baby kicked in response.

"Hey, you think she can hear you?"

"She can," Robin answered as she climbed up past Luffy. "Not very well, but she can hear when people are speaking, especially you, as well as other noises. She'll recognize voices she hears now after she's born." Luffy gaped at Robin as she passed him to go on deck, before looking down again.

"You can hear stuff, huh? No wonder your Daddy talks to you all night!" Usopp snickered softly to himself, but Nami grinned as Luffy poked his middle eagerly.

"Babies are really cool, if you look past the funny smell," Nami chirped, and she began to squeeze Luffy's middle like she was testing an orange for ripeness.

"Wait, can she hear me curse?" Sanji suddenly looked nervous.

"It's not like she'd understand you," Nami replied, and Sanji chuckled in relief.

"Mossball would kill me if he heard me teaching his kid how to swear before she's even born." Luffy laughed, before beginning to dig through the bags on the table. "That's not food. You had a snack, greedy bastard. You have to wait for dinner."

"I know," Luffy chuckled sleepily, as he began to go through the baby clothes. Zoro reentered as Luffy held up some of the articles that Zoro had approved. Luffy looked somewhat confused. "These are kind of boring." Zoro jolted back in terror.

"They don't need to be anything more than that, Luffy, she'll be cute enough without silly clothes!" Zoro protested nervously. Luffy frowned slightly, looking at Zoro.

"Well, yeah, but she should at least look cool." Luffy put his hands on his hips. "You should have just let Nami do it."

"Don't get mad at me, I'll go take them back." Zoro picked up the bag, accepting defeat before the battle begun. Nami, feeling guilty, stopped him.

"Wait, no, Luffy, these clothes really are fine! You can put her in cooler clothes when she gets bigger! Besides, look at this cute hat we picked out!" She reached in and pulled out the hat, and Luffy blinked. It was a golden-brown, crocheted hat with a floppy brim and a red ribbon around the cap. Luffy held it up, and compared it to his own hat, before grinning brightly. He wrapped his arms around Zoro, giggling with glee at the baby version of his own straw hat, and Zoro smiled thankfully at Nami as he patted Luffy's back. Luffy kept Zoro in place and snuggled him, and the action of the world continued around them.

After a few hours of work, one corner of the men's cabin was redecorated in a more baby-appropriate manner, complete with a changing table and a stack of baby books. Luffy had contently watched Zoro work for much of it, offering inane suggestions in his chirpy, cheerful voice, which irritated Zoro. He didn't want to snap at him, so he simply ignored him until he went silent and left. Robin came in as he finished hanging the mobile over the crib. Zoro carefully adjusted one of the little pirates dancing on the mobile, untwisting its arm from its string, and gave the pole it hung on a tentative tap. The pirates, swords, and ships began to twirl slowly, and Zoro chuckled a bit. He looked down into the crib, smiling distantly, and adjusted the position of the sheep within.

"So, swordsman, out of thoughts?" Robin asked gently. Zoro turned to look at her with a sharp eye. He hadn't heard her approach.

"No, I'm just keeping them to myself," he muttered, and turned away from the little corner nursery. Robin stopped him as he went to leave the room.

"Captain's called a crew meeting. Asked me to come get you. He looked a little upset, said you weren't talking to him."

"Ugh," Zoro grunted, "Better not to talk to him than to say something that'll get him mad at me. I don't want to lose him now." He and Robin made their way back up to the galley, where Sanji was preparing dinner and the rest of the crew was assembled for the meeting. Luffy was drinking a glass of milk, and the others had soda, ale, or water at their places. Luffy grinned at Robin as she entered.

"That's everybody, then. Okay, I guess I can start talking." Luffy leaned forward, looking as serious as possible. "Well, as some of you may know, I'm gonna have a baby."

"We know," was the unanimous, eye-rolling response.

"Okay, good. Well, I'm gonna have the baby in three or four weeks, and I figured out that Nami was right. I'm not at the top of my game." Luffy looked down a bit, and the others felt their jaws drop. Luffy, admitting inadequacy?

"Wait, hang on, we don't think you're any less than you were!" Usopp protested.

"I am, though, because I'm more than I usually am. I have another life to think about, and I have to protect it. That makes it harder to protect myself. Besides that, I'm always tired, and I can't fight the way I want to." Luffy looked very sad, and Chopper began to panic. "I can't do anything right anymore, all because of this! As of now, I'm no good for this crew!"

"Luffy," Zoro interrupted quietly. "Luffy, you can't give up on your dreams now. We're all behind you. I'm behind you. Hell, I won't let you."

"He's right, Captain, you can't just stop!" Nami insisted. Luffy rubbed his eyes, looking back up at the others.

"Thanks for your support… But I'm not going to stop searching for One Piece and trying to be the King of Pirates." Luffy forced a smile. "I need a break. I think they call it 'maternity leave.'" The crew sighed with relief. "Until the baby's born, and for a little after. But… If you don't want to stay with me, I'd understand."

"Like we'd leave," Usopp chortled.

"I'm not going anywhere," Nami added with a grin.

"Thank god, you're gonna take a break!" Sanji chuckled from the stove. "Shit, I can't imagine you trying to keep a little newborn around with all the trouble we get in!" He glanced over his shoulder to Luffy. "So, what's the plan? Are we going to stay here?"

"That wouldn't be a good idea," Nami interjected. "It might be a pretty place, but it seems to be a popular port. Sure, we're the only pirates I've seen today, but tomorrow, there could be a hundred ships flying Jolly Rogers. Let's not forget your bounty."

"I was thinking we try for something a little more remote," Luffy murmured, visibly shivering and drumming his fingers at the top of the swell in his shirt. "We'll find a small island and set up a base there. We can have expeditions in the immediate area, as long as I have somewhere to stay with the kid."

"We," Zoro reminded Luffy. "We have somewhere to stay with the kid."

"Yeah." Luffy smiled at Zoro, looking oddly relieved.

"And since we're all here," Zoro started, glancing around at the crew, "I'd like to make an announcement. I want to make the following clear. I care about you, Luffy, and no matter what happens, no matter what I say in anger or how I act, I want to stay with you." He kissed Luffy on the cheek, and Luffy grinned, all but glowing with joy.

"Hey, mossball, was that some kind of lame attempt at a proposal?" Sanji sneered. "Come on, you should do it like this!" Sanji dropped to one knee in front of Nami, took her hand and clasped it over his heart. "Dearest Miss Nami, I would be lost in a world without you in it! I have spent the years longing for you, body and soul, and there is nothing I would rather do than stay at your side! Please, grant me the honor- nay, the privilege!- of spending the rest of my days with you!"

Nami swiftly kicked Sanji in the face, and that was that. As Luffy laughed raucously and the others chuckled, Usopp tapped his nose in thought.

"Well, that one sure didn't work. No wonder you're no good with the ladies! I, however, am a true charmer!" Usopp stood from his chair to demonstrate, and got down on both knees in front of Nami. He clasped his hands like he was praying, and spoke in a soft voice. "Oh, Nami, the time we spend together is so valuable to me. Every second is like a gold coin in the bank of my life. Please, join me in marriage that we may compound our interest together."

"That's just about the only thing you'll be pounding," Zoro snickered, and Luffy, Chopper, and Nami laughed wildly. Sanji managed a chuckle through his swollen lip. Nami simply smirked and brushed Usopp off, causing him to sink into a dejected pile on the floor in defeat, before looking to Chopper.

"Well, we've seen reasons why those two are never getting married. How would you do the deed, Doc?"

"Doc?!" Chopper looked around, bright pink, before Robin patted his head.

"Don't be shy, Doctor," she reassured him, "we won't ridicule you."

"O-okay." Chopper shifted to heavy point, and took position on one nervous knee. He took Robin's hand, kissed it, and removed his hat. "Marry me, Miss Robin?" His face was bright red with embarrassment, his limbs quaking with shyness, but Robin smiled.

"Oh, Chopper. Simple and sweet. It's so like you." Robin patted his head as he transformed back into brain point, and he woozily dropped to the ground in a dead embarrassed faint. Luffy giggled, perched on his seat and leaned over to see the little reindeer flat out on the deck.

"Okay, Luffy, you're up," Sanji said from the sink. He was pressing an ice pack to the gash where Nami's heel had hit him. Luffy thought for a moment.

"Well, let's see." Luffy got to his feet and waddled in a short pace for a moment, before grinning. "Okay." He turned and wrapped his arms around Zoro's waist. "I love you." Zoro felt slightly embarrassed as the usually detached captain showed his heart. "And I want to be with you, too. I think we should get married."

"Sure deal," Zoro chuckled, before mussing his hat up on his head. Nami grinned.

"I think this one's for keeps."

"It is," Luffy replied, squeezing Zoro affectionately. "As long as you're okay with it. Think you're ready to be stuck with me forever?"

"I'm ready," Zoro agreed with a smirk.

**________________________________________________________________________**

**End Notes: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I worked really hard on this one. It's kind of hard to keep the action up after all the action from before! The story's almost over, so…**

**Did you enjoy it? Review. **

**Did you hate it? Review.**

**Do you have a suggestion? Review.**

**Are you ready? Review!**


	11. Ready or Not

**Genuine Treasure**

**Author Notes: This is the last proper chapter of this story. I am very, very sad about this.**

**But in the meantime! Before I get started, has anybody ever heard of a flower called the Scarlet Gilia? They're quite lovely: star-shaped and bright red when they first bloom. When their chief pollinators, hummingbirds, fly south for the winter, they turn white to attract moths so they can keep getting pollinated. Very interesting, I think.**

… **Nobody cares about flowers? Fine. Onward!**

**One review response:**

**Her- You pointed out the X-rays! Good catch. Pregnant women are generally not allowed near X-ray machines. Biopsies are about the same: very risky for baby. Little chance of survival. Kind of an indicator of how little the doctors actually cared about the baby. As for kebobs, kebabs, or kebaps, I'm glad you caught the spelling. I don't know how they're spelled, but I do know that they are delicious. -^_^-**

**Disclaimer: I only own what I have made up. All else belongs to Oda, and if he wants what I created, he can have it.**

**Please to enjoy!**

**Chapter 11: Ready or Not**

**Suggested Track: "Supernatural Superserious," REM; "Satellite," Dave Matthews Band**

Luffy had to wear his shiny gold wedding band around his neck on a chain because his fingers were swollen. Zoro, however, wore his on his left ring finger according to tradition, and he shined it every day the same time he sharpened his swords. He and Luffy had signed the forms and filed them, and though they weren't sure their marriage was legal, they considered it valid, and the entire crew agreed. He had never thought he would like marriage, but when it was as nontraditional as his was, he was completely okay with it. It was as if nothing had changed but the way they thought of one another, and since they were newlyweds, that was exciting and fun.

They didn't have much honeymoon. There was simply no time for a vacation, and Luffy wouldn't be able to consummate the marriage due to his 'condition.' This was Zoro's idea more than his- Chopper had warned him that late-pregnancy sex could trigger labor. Luffy was disappointed because, as he put it, "I've been horny for seven goddamn months, and you're holding out on me!" After a few hours of begging, pleading, and prodding, Zoro finally conceded to give Luffy the pleasure he wanted.

The night after they filed the papers, Luffy asked Usopp and Sanji to give him and Zoro a few minutes privacy. He waited very patiently, sitting on the edge of the cot while waiting for Zoro. Zoro was preparing himself mentally, cross-legged on the ground with his eyes closed, meditating on what he was about to do. He opened one narrow eye to gaze at Luffy. "You said it's not really that bad?"

"I like it. You have a really nice flavor, so it's like food except I'm still hungry after," Luffy chirped. He wiggled his toes in eagerness. Zoro grumbled a bit, and closed his eyes again.

"What if you taste bad?"

"Why would I taste bad?" Luffy half-pouted, half-scowled. "I probably taste like I smell. Smell yourself. That's what you taste like."

"I can't smell myself. I just smell like me," Zoro remarked coolly. Luffy swung his feet a bit, thinking.

"You taste a lot like… well, there's this weird smell of metal in the air when there's a swordfight, and you taste like that plus sake. But I don't know what I smell like." Luffy paused, and grinned. "Oi. Tell me what I smell like." Zoro opened his eyes, and grinned deviously as he got what Luffy was implying. He rose and crept towards Luffy, swiftly pinning him against mattress by his shoulder. He wore a dark look like he was preparing for a good fight, and a wide, wicked smile. He kissed Luffy's lips, sliding his tongue between them and across Luffy's tongue just for a second, and kissed down Luffy's chin and neck. He firmly gripped Luffy's forearms, rubbing the muscles with his thumbs, and gently squeezing. Luffy gasped under his breath, soft grunts at Zoro's touches and grasps as he groped his way to rest one hand on Luffy's thigh. Zoro ran his tongue across Luffy's breastbone, and finally inhaled him deeply.

"You… smell like meat, and spices. And you taste… like peppered steak." Zoro moved his hands to grasp Luffy's hips, and paused briefly to kiss Luffy's swollen belly. His hands traveled under it to find Luffy's cock. Luffy was already hard, and Zoro wrapped his hand around it, resting his thumb just under the head. He gave it a few tentative strokes; it was smooth and hot, and Zoro slid back from Luffy, tilted his head to the side, and carefully put it between his lips. He rested his hands on Luffy's sides in an embrace as he dragged his cock in and out of his mouth. He pursed his lips around it to apply pressure, and Luffy moaned aloud and leaned back so Zoro could consume him easier. Luffy was hot in his mouth, like a skewer of grilled meat in feel and flavor, and his voice was thick with pleasure.

"Mm, Zoro, I love your mouth…" He kept his hands planted beside him, before moving one to run his fingers through Zoro's hair. "It feels so good… keep going…" Zoro bit gently down in response, and Luffy cried out eagerly. Zoro resisted the urge to smirk, and flicked his tongue along the shaft and head before giving a few rough, wet slurps. Luffy stomped his foot like an excited dog, and placed both hands on the back of Zoro's head. Zoro drew slowly back on the shaft, and Luffy's orgasm exploded across his tongue. He gagged and jerked back from Luffy, and quickly spit onto the floor.

"Ugh! Salty! You lied! That sucked!" Zoro wiped his mouth and raised his hackles, face red with fury.

Luffy giggled. "I guess I've never tasted that." He pushed himself to his feet and yanked his shorts back up. "Thank you, Zoro. I liked that." He crouched by Zoro, cleaned off his tongue with his own, and wrinkled his nose. "I'll go get you some sake."

"Nah, that's okay. You've done enough for me. It's about time I did something for you." Zoro messed up Luffy's hair, and Luffy smiled and hugged Zoro.

"I'll make it up to you."

Within a week of Zoro and Luffy's marriage, Nami navigated them to a small, uninhabited Fall island that they could use as a temporary base. The island's name was Tsunami Magnet. It had been inhabited at one point, but was abandoned when the weather patterns changed to include a massive, destructive storm season three times every calendar year. Thankfully, some of the homes near the center of the island were still intact and surrounded by sand bags, so upon landing, the crew quickly moved in to the abandoned village. The houses were simple huts, set up in a circle, and the crew appreciated this quasi-vacation. They rented an Eternal Pose that would direct them to the nearest inhabited island where they could restock their food supplies, and another one to bring them back to their current home. Nami took the opportunity to make a detailed topography map, roaming the island during the day, often with Usopp at her side for "protection." (It was just a question of who was protecting who.) Sanji tried some fishing, as well as examining some of the local flora for different flavors. Chopper searched for fauna, and met a few plain brown birds and odd-looking, undersized squirrels, but no deer of any variety. He was still happy to talk local gossip, even if he didn't know any of the names or anybody's business, but the animals were all very curious about the crew. Robin took the opportunity to catch up on her reading along the shoreline. Zoro set up a makeshift dojo in the center of the circle of huts and trained most of the day, but when he wasn't lifting weights and attacking log dummies, he was inside with Luffy.

Luffy was tired often, an utter reversal from his usual self. He didn't go around exploring and looking for trouble. He spent most of his time inside, laid out and asleep, or somewhere between awake and asleep. Zoro would lean against the wall, sharpening his swords and napping in place. Upon awaking, Luffy would occasionally hoist Zoro over his shoulder as he slept and lay him on the mat next to him, cuddling up for comfort. Zoro always felt a bit confused when he woke with Luffy's nose pressed to his chest and a spot of drool on his shirt, but he didn't mind. It almost made him wonder why he hadn't crawled into bed with him in the first place. He did like being close with Luffy, and despite his determination to make sleeping with him normal, he still felt apprehensive about being accused of being any less of a man for loving Luffy. He couldn't imagine how Luffy didn't care. Luffy just wore that silly smile and kept his arms tight around Zoro, not letting him move from his grasp. Zoro stopped caring once Luffy was smiling and almost asleep; he surrendered to enjoying it. Zoro liked the way Luffy had to bend himself to fit against Zoro, arching his back and bending his knees. his round, shifting belly pressed against Zoro's middle, his knees against his thighs, and Zoro kept one hand on his back, squeezing his stressed muscles. It was the most he expected from him. When Luffy did go outside, he wouldn't go too far from his hut, often just to see what Sanji was cooking, or to chatter idly with the others. He was almost entirely unlike himself, but the crew understood- he didn't want to take any risks.

They lived on the island for more than two weeks, and Luffy was showing all the signs of nearing the end of his pregnancy. The bump in his midsection seemed to have sunk lower on his pelvis, appearing bigger than it was. Luffy was somewhat broody and often seen contemplatively tapping his belly like he was trying to crack an egg. Robin and Chopper were staying close to him, and Zoro felt somewhat guilty for not doing the same. However, Luffy told them all not to worry, and Zoro knew that Luffy could handle himself. Chopper and Robin, however, flat-out refused to leave him alone and told him not to be silly. He obviously did not like this, and Zoro noticed that Luffy became a different, silent sort of angry when he was denied. Zoro didn't like it, but Luffy asked for no help. It was one midmorning that Luffy figured out he could simply get away from Robin.

"Hey, Zoro!" Luffy called from his usual post on one of the logs Zoro had driven into the ground. He was perched haphazardly with his feet and hands keeping his balance, and Robin was watching him. Chopper was in walk point nearby, nibbling at some weeds. Zoro sheathed his sword and turned to Luffy.

"Yeah?"

"I wanna explore the island! Will you show me around? I feel like I've been here forever but I don't know anything about this place." Zoro nodded, and Luffy jumped to his feet and the pair walked off onto a trail. Luffy, oddly enough, took Zoro's hand and squeezed it in his. Zoro felt a bit unnerved, but he swung his arm slowly and interlaced their fingers. Luffy was smiling his familiar, excessively cheery smile. "Figure I should do this while I can. I mean, for the next couple weeks, I'll be pretty much stuck inside with the kid." Zoro chuckled a bit.

"Luffy, how long are we gonna keep calling her 'the kid?' She's gotta have a name." Luffy looked a bit confused.

"We already talked about this a while ago. Roronoa." Zoro rolled his eyes.

"No no, a name. A real name. Like my name is Zoro, and yours is Luffy," he chuckled. "I guess we've been too preoccupied with the big picture, and forgot about a few small details, like what we're going to call our daughter." Zoro scratched his head and put a hand around Luffy's back, squeezing him from behind. Luffy folded his hands over his middle, pressing in slightly as he thought. "So, I've got nothing."

"Okay, I've got an idea." Luffy grinned. "We'll name her after the island we were reunited on. Gilea."

"Gilea?" Zoro glanced at Luffy quizzically.

"Gilly for short." Zoro smirked, as Luffy patted his belly like a drum.

"I think I can go with that."

"Good. I don't have any other ideas." Luffy sighed contently, before grabbing Zoro's arm. "Uh, can we stop for a minute?"

Luffy sat cross-legged on the ground, pressing his hands to his knees. He was panting softly as though out of breath. Zoro leaned against a tree, watching with his brow raised, but said nothing. Luffy looked up after a moment, and started trying to get to his feet. Zoro took him under the elbows and lifted him. Luffy slouched as he stood, eyes downcast. "You're thinking about something. You don't do that too much."

"Shut up, I'm counting," Luffy mumbled. Zoro raised an eyebrow again, but didn't inquire any further as they continued to walk. Luffy began to pant after only five minutes, and Zoro stopped. He placed a hand on Luffy's forehead.

"You're sweating. It's not hot, and we're not doing anything rough. You okay?"

"Yeah," Luffy nodded, and Zoro smoothed Luffy's damp hair back from his face to try and look in his eyes. "Can you take me to where the ship is anchored?"

"I can, but should I?"

"Captain's orders," Luffy chuckled, and Zoro wrapped one arm around his waist in worry. Luffy's breathing was labored, his walking unsteady. He could see that he was pale and sweaty. Zoro wrapped his other arm around Luffy's shoulders and held him in place, giving his belly a tender rub.

"Luffy, you're not in good shape, you should be resting."

"Nah, Chopper told me that walking will help labor go faster." Zoro froze, gritting his teeth. Under his hand, he could feel Luffy's muscles moving.

"You're in labor right now?!"

"Yeah, she and I talked about it two nights ago when I was trying to sleep, and we decided that it was a good time for her to be born. It only started actually hurting this morning, and I think Chopper's right. I can feel stuff moving down." Luffy grinned, proud of himself. Zoro found himself in a panic.

"Shit. Shit. We're going back, you've gotta tell Chopper!"

"I don't want to. You know everyone's just going to hang all over me." Luffy looked away, oddly pensive. "I want to go to the ship."

"You want to set sail at a time like this?!" Zoro shouted, taking Luffy by the shoulders.

"Ow!" Luffy flinched, shivering, and Zoro drew his hands back.

"I didn't mean to-"

"It's the baby, she wants out. No, I don't want to set sail. I just want to be on the ship. I got knocked up there, might as well start the rest of her life there."

"I can't let you do that. This is really dangerous, Luffy. I want Chopper there."

"Fine. Go get him." Luffy grunted, resigning himself and pouting. "But nobody else. Just you and me and Chopper. Go, quick. Kid's impatient." Luffy winced, and sank to his knees at the side of the path, cradling his middle.

Chopper was entirely confused when he saw Zoro dashing towards him with his bandanna off. Zoro grabbed Chopper by the muzzle. "Come on, fast as you can, I need you right now."

"You need me?!" Chopper squealed as he shifted back into brain point.

"Yes, I need you, and we need to move fast. You need to come with me!" Zoro dashed back off, and Chopper went back to walk point and dashed alongside Zoro. Chopper could see telltale signs of fatigue on Zoro's face; he'd obviously been running a long distance, but he wasn't tiring. Chopper was naturally faster than Zoro as a reindeer, and he had to try to slow himself to follow. A muffled cry gave him a bearing: Luffy was crumpled in a little ball with Zoro's bandanna between his teeth. Chopper shifted to brain point, and Zoro caught up. Luffy smiled at Chopper, handing the bandanna back to Zoro.

"Okay, you're here. Let's go." Luffy began trying to push himself up to his feet, grunting softly in pain, until Zoro helped him up and wrapped his arms around Luffy.

"You're so damn stupid sometimes, it drives me insane," Zoro muttered, shaking his head and hugging Luffy tight.

"That's nice. Get me to the ship or I'm going to have the kid right here." Zoro didn't hesitate to put Luffy over his shoulder like a child, careful not to put pressure on his tender abdomen, and start walking. Chopper scampered right behind them, trying to talk to Luffy as he swayed against Zoro's chest.

"How far apart are the contractions?"

"Last count, four minutes." Chopper squeaked in panic, trembling.

"That's really close!!"

"It didn't start really hurting until- ow, Zoro-" Zoro passed his bandanna to Luffy again, who bit down on it hard. Chopper gaped as Luffy 'bit the bullet' in his own way, and he hopped and skipped after Zoro as he walked.

"Doctor Kureha only let me help with a birth one time before. She said it was simple and instinctive, and I've been reading about it, but I hardly know what to do!" Chopper whimpered.

"It's more experience than either of us have. And if it's instinctive, we'll probably be able to handle it!" Zoro muttered, squeezing Luffy's backside briefly. Luffy hissed, and slapped Zoro's back.

"Keep your hands to yourself! That's what got us in this mess in the first place!" Luffy growled, and Zoro's eye twitched.

"Sorry!" Zoro snarled, and he resisted the urge to smack Luffy back.

"Zoro, he's going to be in a lot of pain," Chopper warned, chewing his hoof nervously. "You might not want to be around."

"I wasn't around for enough of this. There's no way I'm going to miss my daughter entering the world." Zoro stopped as he reached the jetty. "Luffy, you can scream at me, swear at me, insult my manhood, and beat me like a rug, whatever it takes for you to feel better about birthing our daughter." Zoro carried Luffy to the deck. "And I won't even get mad. Where do you want to go?"

"Men's cabin," Luffy mumbled, and Zoro carried him into the cabin house, rubbing his cheek against Luffy's shoulder. Luffy panted breathlessly, and Zoro realized he was red with rage. "J-just put me down." Zoro obliged, and set Luffy down in the galley. Luffy got down the ladder on his own and stumbled down the hall to his cabin. Zoro and Chopper followed, and Luffy pushed himself to sit on his bed, biting his lower lip and clutching his belly. "It hurts so bad. I've never felt pain like this before." Tears of pain were sliding down his face. Chopper quickly rushed to the storage room to grab medical supplies, and Zoro stepped forward and took Luffy's hand.

"Show me how much it hurts," he instructed Luffy, kneeling in front of him. Luffy obliged and squeezed Zoro's hand as the contraction passed. Luffy's voice rose in a wail, Zoro's eyes were wide and he was grinding his teeth. "Fuck, shit, you…" Zoro flinched as Luffy gripped down harder and his voice broke. Luffy finally let go, panting, and Zoro shook his hand out. "God damn! I'm glad you didn't break it…"

"That was just one, Zoro, you've got at least couple hundred to go," Chopper reminded him as he entered. "I'm, uh, I'm going to have to take a look at what's going on where the kid's going to come out. Luffy, can you show me?" Chopper put his hands on Luffy's knees, and Luffy, rarely shy, removed his pants and boxers. Chopper, very shy, turned pink with embarrassment for a moment, but, as a doctor, got over it and spread Luffy's legs. Luffy lay back, and Chopper simply gaped. "Uh..."

"Don't say anything!" Luffy hissed. Zoro winced, as Chopper took heavy point to use his most human form and pulled on a pair of latex gloves. Zoro didn't like where Chopper's hands went, but it was only for a second.

"You're, uh, six centimeters dilated," Chopper told him, and he disposed of the gloves. "You're going to need to get to ten before you can actually push. Have you felt your water break?"

"I don't think so," Luffy mumbled, shaking his head. "I'd know, wouldn't I?"

"I imagine so, yeah, it'd be like a flush of water. It might not break on its own because of how stretchy you are… I'm going to try and break it for you." Zoro swallowed hard. "That'll help speed things up, okay? Get something to wipe this up, Zoro." Chopper brought out a long, thin needle wrapped in sanitary plastic, unwrapped it, and spread the cloth Zoro had brought under Luffy's thighs. He inserted it into what was now a birth canal, and fluid rushed out and soaked it through. Luffy winced, stomping one foot on the ground in rage and pain.

"It hurts," he snarled, before sitting up and grabbing Zoro's shirt collar. "Why are you hurting me more than anyone else has?"

"I don't mean to, it's not my fault!" Zoro snapped, trying to back away. Luffy let go, sinking back to the edge of the cot.

"I don't like this pain," Luffy muttered through gritted teeth. "Nobody makes me feel pain like this." Zoro sat beside Luffy, taking one of Luffy's hands. Luffy put the bandanna back in his mouth. Chopper sat on his other side, rubbing his back. Luffy hissed in a few breaths before starting to scream again. Zoro flinched as Luffy gripped his hand, and he felt his bones crunch again.

As part of their daily exploration of the island, Nami and Usopp had climbed to the top of a large cliff, working their way up with picks and ropes. They finally stood at the summit, despite Usopp's whining and sudden-onset acrophobia. As Nami began to sketch its location and make notes on her map about things she could see, Usopp took out a pair of binoculars to enjoy the view.

"You can really see the whole island from up here!" He laughed, gazing around. "There's the little village, and the clearings, and I can see the river! Oh, and the ship!" Usopp focused on the Going Merry. "Hey, looks like Zoro's on deck!"

"What would he be doing there?" Nami mused, as Usopp adjusted the scope to get a better look.

"Looks like he's pacing, and his hand's wrapped in bandages. I wonder what happened." Nami gasped softly.

"He must have gotten into a fight with Luffy. Usopp, we better get over there and talk to him. For all we know, he's going to try and steal the ship!" Nami quickly shoved her supplies back into her satchel and slung it over her shoulder.

The pair rappelled back down the cliff face as quickly as they could, and rushed back to their village, through the circle of huts towards the jetty. "Sanji! Robin! Chopper! We've got to get Zoro! Lu-" Usopp called urgently, but as he started to call for Luffy, Nami ribbed him.

"Don't call Luffy! He doesn't need to worry about this," Nami hissed, as Robin looked up from her book.

"Why would we need to get Zoro? He was on a hike with Luffy." Usopp and Nami stopped in their tracks, heads tilted in confusion.

"We saw him on the ship. He looked injured."

"Makes sense that he's injured," Sanji said as he emerged. "I heard him come yelling for Chopper." Nami's eyes sparked as she did the math.

"His hand is broken. Luffy broke his hand," she babbled. "Luffy broke his hand and the baby is coming and that's why he broke his hand." At this, Robin's hands sprung up by Luffy's pack, scooped up some baby supplies and started throwing them out the window to her, and Sanji and Usopp scrambled in a panic. Usopp whipped out his bullhorn.

"Baby on the way! Baby on the way! This is not a drill!"

"There's not much we can do to help, but we can at least be there for support!" Nami declared. "Guys, get the stuff!" Sanji rushed into the icebox and prepped a small cooler with a few bottles of ale and one bottle of milk. Usopp grabbed some of his special slingshot pellets, and Nami grabbed a special scroll of parchment. "Let's go get them!" Nami ordered, pointing one finger as a 'forward, march!' The group ran down the path, reaching the jetty in good time. Zoro was still on the deck, sitting on the railing with his legs hanging off the side, as the crew bounded up the ramp in file.

"What are you guys doing here?" Zoro asked, still massaging his injured hand.

"We could ask the same thing of you, idiot," Sanji muttered, before taking Zoro by the wrist. "You should take better care of your hands. You need them for your swords like I need mine to cook."

"I know!" Zoro snapped, looking ready to bite Sanji's head off. "It's just a few fingers broken, and I don't need them!"

"Does Luffy need you?" Robin asked provocatively. Zoro's head whipped to look at her, frowning.

"You figured it out, huh?" Zoro ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah, Luffy said he didn't want everyone hanging all over him. Chopper kicked me out. Something along the lines of," Zoro imitated Chopper's squeak "'You can't get your hand broken any more than it is or you'll never be able to use it again!'" Zoro rolled his eyes. "I said I'd use my other hand, but then Luffy started screaming at me and I got the hell out." Zoro sniffed irritably. "Can't disobey a direct order, I suppose."

"And when have you ever cared about that before?" Nami demanded sharply. Zoro said nothing, and Sanji and Usopp chuckled.

"Point, Nami-swan."

"I… I should at least check on him, right?" Zoro looked at the other crew members for approval, and Robin patted his shoulder.

"You don't want to miss this particular miracle. I know that, swordsman." Zoro nodded, and shuffled back into the cabin house to go to the lower deck. The rest of the crew gathered themselves in the galley to wait.

Zoro re-entered Luffy's cabin. Chopper, who was out of the room, had Luffy seated on the very edge of the bed, his legs spread in a squat, and he was soaked with sweat. Luffy had substituted Zoro's swords for the man himself. Luffy had the hilt of a sword in each hand and the third in his mouth, gripping down on them in his pain. Luffy scowled at Zoro as he entered. "Get out!" He hissed around the hilt. Zoro shook his head.

"Not leaving. Our kid, our responsibility. Do you want some cold water?" Luffy looked at Zoro in near-disbelief, and nodded. Zoro took one of the swords from Luffy and banged on the ceiling. "Can someone bring us some ice water?" he yelled. In less than ten seconds, Robin was there with a basin and a rag, along with a receiving blanket.

"Usopp says not to do that again. He doesn't want you to break the floor." Robin said as she handed them off to Usopp. She glanced at Luffy briefly, turned pink and rushed away. Zoro sat beside Luffy and began to rub the wet rag on his forehead. Luffy looked somewhat relieved, and he removed the second sword from his mouth and put the third down.

"Are they all here?"

"They're upstairs, they won't come down here. They really want to see her, Luffy." Zoro kissed his forehead, and wrung water onto his hair. "I do too."

"Zoro! You're back!" Chopper exclaimed as he rushed back in with an armload of fresh cloth. Chopper was still in heavy point so he could use human hands, and he began to lay the blankets and towels on the floor under Luffy. "Luffy's gotten stretched out really fast. The baby will be here any minute, Luffy's been pushing by himself for a while now! I haven't even had to tell him what to do! This is so exciting!" Chopper hopped up and down happily, forgetting his size and making the floor shake. Zoro nodded, and held his arm out as Luffy moaned in pain. "Luffy, try and push again, I can see the top of the head!" Luffy bit down on Zoro's forearm and grunted as he squeezed his abdominal muscles with the contraction. Zoro resisted the urge to pull his arm away as the blood began to flow from the bite mark.

"You can do it," Zoro hissed, trying to keep the pain from his voice as Luffy kept biting down. He leaned forward to where Chopper knelt, and gaped. "Shit." He hadn't imagined just how large the baby's head would be in comparison to the opening it was emerging from. As Luffy gasped and let go, Zoro got down on the floor next to Chopper, reaching for the head as it hung in place but not looking at it.

"Luffy, you've almost got the head!" Chopper squealed.

"That was nothing, you need to do it again." Zoro beckoned him with a devious grin. Luffy grinned back at him, eyes weary.

"Bet you couldn't do this."

"Bet you can do it harder," Zoro challenged him. The pair looked like they were readying for a fight, wearing smiles like madmen. Luffy groaned suddenly at a new contraction, and Zoro leaned forward and gave Luffy one arm to chew and Luffy muffled his scream as he forced his muscles down again. Zoro kept one eye on the growing mass between Luffy's legs, as the features became more recognizable. Zoro tried to keep the horror from his face as he recognized a face, eyes, nose, mouth, soaked in what Zoro could identify as blood and something else he couldn't identify at all.

"Stop pushing, stop, stop!" Chopper ordered anxiously, and Luffy gasped breathily.

"Water, please, water!" Zoro tried to keep one eye on Chopper as he poured water on Luffy's damp head. Chopper was carefully but quickly working around the baby's neck, and Zoro winced as he realized that the cord was wrapped around it like a noose. Zoro thanked whatever god there was that Luffy still couldn't see past his middle. Luffy lay back, moaning at another contraction, and Chopper cried out in panic. Zoro gave Luffy his unbroken hand and leaned to see the rest of the head and part of the torso emerge. She was still wrapped in umbilical cord, trussed up like a present, and Chopper was slowly twisting the cord around to unwrap her. Zoro felt the blood rushing through his body like rapids stop flowing to his face, and he tried to pull away to watch Chopper with the baby. Luffy's arm stretched as he still gripped Zoro's hand, and Zoro was able to watch as Chopper untwisted and received a tiny body into a towel. Luffy let go of Zoro and slumped back in weakness, gasping anxiously, and Zoro scrambled to the doctor's side.

What looked like bloody water poured from Luffy, as Chopper took two metal clips and clamped them on the still-pulsing cord. He offered Zoro a pair of sanitary scissors, and without even being instructed, Zoro clipped the umbilical cord in two, freeing the baby from Luffy's hips. Luffy still moaned as the placenta emerged, but Zoro suddenly found his daughter thrashing and gurgling in his arms. Chopper had a bowl of warm water ready, and Zoro began to instinctively clean her off with a little bit of cloth. His hands couldn't stop shaking, even when she was whisked off by Chopper. Chopper weighed her and recorded the time of her birth, and handed her back to Zoro so he could write all the information down on a plain yellow pad. As he rubbed her head, she let out a piercing wail, and Zoro gaped. Utterly stupefied, he lay her beside Luffy.

"Luffy, this is ours," he whispered, as Luffy forced himself to sit up and carefully claim the baby into his arms.

"Yeah," he chuckled weakly. The blood was gone from his face, and he was bruised like he'd been beaten from biting his lips and gripping anything he could. Chopper quickly cleaned up the mess, and watched eagerly as Luffy held his daughter for the first time. "Roronoa D. Gilea."

"What's the D stand for?" Zoro asked absentmindedly, rubbing Luffy's back with and staring at the baby.

"D stands for a lot of things," was Luffy's only reply, and he cuddled the crying baby to his chest. "Gilly, pretty little Gilly," he mumbled, as Chopper offered Zoro the knit hat. Zoro carefully pulled it onto her, covering her wispy hair.

"Luffy, she must be cold, let me dress her," Zoro suggested quietly, and as Luffy slowly slumped back onto his bed, Zoro reclaimed her and lay her on the ground. He diapered her, and pulled little yellow pajamas onto her, ensuring each booty was snug around a tiny ankle. Zoro turned back to Luffy to show him, but he'd fallen asleep. Chopper simply grinned and returned to brain point.

"He's had a rough morning. Let him rest a little bit. Why don't you go introduce her to everybody? Oh, and say what I wrote at the top. That's what you do." Chopper passed Zoro his notepad, and once Zoro bundled Gilly into a blanket, he reviewed it and tucked it under his arm. He made his way up the ladder backwards, carefully cradling her close to his chest. He stared at her pink face, her puffy cheeks and pouting lips. He stopped at the top of the ladder, keeping her to himself for just a few moments longer. They felt like eternity. The second he turned around, he was mobbed by his crewmates.

"Well, Zoro?" Robin smiled, as Nami, Usopp, and Sanji (who had put out his cigarette) all leaned in. Zoro shifted the blanket so they could see her face and passed Nami the notepad.

"Seven pounds, four ounces. Roronoa Gilly." Nami cried out with joy and began to scrawl down her birth information onto fancy parchment. Sanji passed around ale and put the milk bottle in a pot of boiling water to warm it. Usopp shot off a few bullets that exploded into little fireworks, and Robin got Zoro into a seat to start bandaging his bleeding arms. Gilly was laid on the table for examination, as Nami counted off her fingers and toes through the folds in her swaddling. Sanji handed Zoro a bottle of ale and a warmed milk bottle with a nipple attached.

"Here, kiddo, Uncle Sanji is gonna make sure you never go hungry," Sanji cooed gently, his visible eye full of affection. "Be sure you give her the right one, mossball." Zoro chuckled and restrained himself from retorting as Sanji tousled her moss-colored hair. "If she isn't the cutest little girl in the whole Grand Line, I don't know who is." Zoro smirked at Sanji, glancing back down at the wrinkled, purplish baby in his possession.

"Yeah, you don't need to flatter her. But… thanks."

"Wait, so she _can _call me Uncle Sanji?" Sanji grinned eagerly. Zoro chuckled.

"Hey, why not?" Zoro eased the nipple into Gilly's lips and cradled her close. He smiled down at her as she latched on and began to suckle hungrily. "We're crew, and that's as good as family. So, Gilly, you've got Uncle Sanji. He makes the food. When you get teeth, you'll really appreciate him. Then you got Aunt Nami, she tells us where to go. She's bossy but we like her. And then, there's Uncle Usopp. He's a 'fraidy cat, but he tells good stories. Aunt Robin's very smart and tells good stories too, but the difference is, hers are true. She'll tell you everything you need to know about the world. Doctor Chopper- he's not here, you saw him before, though- he'll be sure you never get sick, even if he does look kinda funny. And last, is me and Daddy. We're your Daddy and other Daddy, and… and we love you very much."

* * *

That evening, after Luffy woke up, he made his way to join the others. He was still fatigued, but he had some important business to take care of. He had decided long ago what his first act as a father would be. He settled himself on the figurehead with Gilly in his arms, giving her a bottle and telling her stories. He told her about his grandpa and his brother, how he decided to become a pirate, about Red-Haired Shanks, and his special straw hat. He told her about when he first set off in a rowboat, about Coby and the Marines, meeting Zoro and freeing him- "I knew, when I met him, that he was special-" and then about each crew member in turn. He told her about their adventures on the Grand Line, Drum Island, Princess Vivi and Arabasta, and then about falling in love with Zoro. He left out the part about Zoro leaving, but did tell her about how he saved both of their lives when he went in the water. "And now, we're here, Gilly. You were born here, you're very special."

"Hey, Luffy," Zoro called. Luffy glanced back. Zoro had rolled an empty barrel to the center of the deck, and had one foot up on it. "Let's do it, eh?"

"Coming." Luffy slid down the masthead, cradling Gilly tight. She was barely awake, sleepy black eyes blinking through her baby thoughts. He passed her to Zoro, and put one foot on the barrel. "Gilly, everyone on this ship has a dream. We have dreams that we could only accomplish on the Grand Line."

"I want to be the world's greatest swordsman," Zoro said.

"And I want to be the King of Pirates. You're part of our dreams now, Gilly."

"I thought I gave up everything when I decided to pursue my dream to be invincible," Zoro added, "However, I know that I can be invincible and human at the same time. My other dream is to be the best father I can for you. I'll never be beaten, so I'll always be here for you," he chuckled, and tickled her nose with his finger.

"And my other dream is to be a great father too." Luffy rested a hand on her tiny head. "Gilea, you have dreams too. You're so little you can't tell us what they are yet, but we're going to help you achieve them. Until you can tell us what your dreams are, we will dream for you."

"Our dream for you is to be happy with us," Zoro finished, and cradled her tight to his chest. "So, Roronoa D. Gilea, welcome to the world, and welcome to the Grand Line." He and Luffy lifted their legs and, together, smashed the barrel.

* * *

**End notes: Next week, I'll have the epilogue. This was a pretty big chapter, so leave a review and let me know what you thought!**


	12. Epilogue

**Genuine Treasure**

Author's Notes: Well, there's not much I can say here. I really hate endings. I guess I'll take this time to respond to a few reviews!

DarkDaylight- I like my humor with my drama. Besides, Luffy is very straightforward. I couldn't do any less.

Monika- I'm sorry to disappoint… I only hope that this chapter makes you happy!

Kichi Hisaki- Miracle of Life indeed. ^_^ Everyone loves mini-mossball.

Disclaimer: It's still not mine, nor will it ever be. Except Gilly, she's technically mine. But you can borrow her.

**Epilogue**

**Suggested Track: **"Summersong,"The Decemberists

Sanji was listening to the radio as he waited for the rest of the crew, but the only channel he was picking up was a Marine frequency. He was never one to curse a blessing, and didn't mind hearing some news, as he liked having a chance to catch up with the outside world. He and most of his crew had been fortunate enough to send letters home. He had good reason to write to his old friends on the Baratie, just like Nami wrote home to Nojiko, Usopp wrote to Kaya, and Chopper mailed a completed report to Doctor Kureha. They had been so busy before, but they'd had over three months to relax and simply let life catch up with them.

The first order of business was to adjust to the presence of one Roronoa D. Gilea. Everyone knew that caring for a baby was difficult, including Luffy. Fortunately, her appealing qualities- that is, being small and cute- ensured that none of the crew strongly disliked her. In fact, because she was small and cute, the crew quite liked her. It was also just fun to have a baby around because caring for her was a challenge. At times, they literally made it a challenge because it was fun. Pirates made their own fun.

The entire crew found themselves around a two-day old Gilly before the first of these challenges, staring at the squalling infant on the changing table. Most had been attracted by the melodious sounds of Zoro swearing. Usopp was pinching his nose, and Chopper was trying not to gag. Zoro, scowling, slowly shook his head.

"Damn it, you all didn't have to come running. I just can't find the damn wipes." He murmured, rubbing his forehead irritably. "I'm fine now."

"How can something that small produce something that awful?" Nami whimpered. "It's like _tar_." Luffy, seemingly immune, chuckled.

"Zoro, you always do it! Hey, I got an idea. Let's see who's the best at changing diapers! Here, I'll show you how I do it!" Luffy stretched one arm to grab the powder, wipes, and a fresh diaper, and bounced his head up and down on his shoulders to distract the baby. She seemed to look at him as he cleaned her bum and disposed of the wipes and spent diaper, and he made silly faces as he powdered and popped the new diaper onto her. Triumphant, he held the baby up. "Good as new!" Sanji and Nami looked, and Chopper tilted his head a bit.

"Isn't the big hole for her waist?" Chopper asked. Zoro stormed over to Luffy and batted him atop the head.

"This is why I do it." He smirked at the rest of the crew. "But if you want to try it, I'd be perfectly willing to judge and take over."

The King of the Diaper Change contest was on. Usopp took a turn next. Unfortunately, he didn't make it past opening the dirty diaper, and after five minutes of a baby in a smelly diaper with a cowering Usopp with his finger on the safety pin, Zoro took over. Chopper didn't fare any better; he couldn't even make it in the same room with an opened diaper without gagging uncontrollably. Nami performed fairly well, and Usopp joked, "She's picked so many pockets, no doubt she's encountered a diaper before."

After Nami beat Usopp to a pulp, it was Sanji's turn. He didn't stand a chance with Zoro supervising, and the pair ended up almost starting an all-out-war when Zoro suggested it was the closest Sanji had been to a naked woman since the day he was born. He was disqualified. Robin was unsurprisingly adept. She could use extra hands to grab the supplies she needed and to gently hold Gilea still, and she smiled affectionately the entire time despite the smell. Impressed with her utter cool, Zoro declared Robin the winner.

Robin seemed to be the champion of all things infant-related, and Luffy and Zoro considered her invaluable. Robin did seem sadly distant whenever she held the baby, and without even knowing the problem, he suggested a solution: "You should have a baby too!" Robin, listening to this, could only smile somberly and shake her head.

In addition to catching up with life and getting used to a new baby, the Going Merry needed some touch-ups. They didn't have the money to fix all of her woes, but they could get her in good enough shape to keep sailing on. Hence, the boat was restocked and ready for a good voyage. The most it had done in the past three months were short supply trips, but Nami was ready to turn in their Eternal Pose and continue exploring. Usopp had made as many repairs as he could, patching over its short history of warfare. Usopp had also made some modifications to the outside railing, putting the bars closer together and adding a lower rail for safety purposes. Most rooms in the ship had received a similar treatment, including the trapdoor to the lower decks getting a lock, the kitchen cabinets fitted with safety catches, and any and all weapons/ammunition were to be stored at least six feet from the ground. Zoro had been pushing for eight, but once Luffy proved that the properties of the Rubber Fruit were not hereditary by pulling on Gilly's cheek until Zoro stopped him, he settled for six.

The Captain himself was leading the crew back from their island village to the jetty. The skies were beginning to darken, threatening a massive hurricane, and they knew that it would be dangerous to stay any longer. Still, the crew knew, from the radio reports, that it was now even more dangerous to leave. Sanji turned up the radio as the most recent bounties set by the Marines were replayed.

"At the top of our list this week for being unusual is a young woman identified as Roronoa D. Gilea. She is described as being less than two feet in height, with short green hair and black eyes. There are no details of any crimes attributed to her, but she is known to have associations with the notorious Straw Hat crew, and her name suggests some association with Pirate Hunter Roronoa Zoro. World Government officials will pay her bounty of 10,000,000 bells only if she is brought in alive."

"Alive," Sanji scoffed in response. "Well, that's a damn relief." He stubbed his cigarette and lit a new one. "What the hell would Zoro do if that kid got hurt?"

Zoro himself, though well-loaded with satchels and duffels, was making faces at Luffy's back, or rather, what was on Luffy's back. Gilly was settled in a makeshift papoose, smiling and cooing at her Daddy as he crossed his eyes and stuck his tongue out. Nami and Robin were also making funny faces at the tiny baby, and Luffy didn't seem to notice or mind as he strolled towards the ship, humming to himself and her.

"Where'd Daddy go?" Zoro asked, gasping in mock shock as he covered his eyes. Robin laughed softly, as Gilly looked vastly confused, until Zoro pulled his hands back. "Here I am!" Gilly flailed and squealed in excitement. Zoro chuckled and fixed her hat on her head. Once her hair started to grow out, it was apparent that it was the same mint green shade as his. (Zoro hadn't yet objected to Sanji's nickname of "little mossball.") Luffy had tied it into tiny little pigtails with red ribbons before putting on her floppy hat. She had the button-black eyes she was born with, and those could have come from either parent, but the brightness in them came from Luffy. She also had inherited Luffy's smile, although she had no teeth, and she was smiling often. Zoro considered her easygoing and simple, and just as straightforward as Luffy. It was easy to tell what she wanted, and she was very easy to console when she cried. Zoro turned around, immediately dropping the baby talk. "Nami, are you sure the ship's safe?"

"Of course I'm sure. It's just the way all those books recommend." Nami rolled her eyes. "Of course, with your kid, I wouldn't trust her alone for a second. No doubt she'll be as good at getting in trouble as Luffy."

"I'll teach her everything I know! She's a big girl now." Luffy chirped, bouncing her a bit. Gilly laughed naively, though she didn't understand what was being said; she knew what happiness sounded like. Zoro chuckled a little bit, resisting the urge to drop everyone's bags, scoop Gilly up and carry her in his arms. He did not like changing diapers. He did not like being puked on. He did not like being woken at two in the morning by a hungry, squalling infant. However, he liked Gilly, including the aspects of raising her he didn't like. The gods had sent him a present, wrapped in mossy hair and pink flesh, and he was a very happy daddy.

"Luffy, just cause she's bigger doesn't mean she's any safer. A pirate ship is a very dangerous place to raise a kid," Zoro reminded Luffy protectively.

"I'm never worried about danger," Luffy chuckled, as they reached the Going Merry. Nami, Robin, and Usopp boarded, and Luffy removed Gilly from her little carrier. "If I was scared, I wouldn't be a pirate! I'm not scared of her getting hurt at all."

"Hey, Luffy! Shit-for-brains! Our total bounty's gotten higher by 10 million bells thanks to you two!" Sanji announced from the deck. Luffy laughed, and Zoro grimaced. Luffy looked over his shoulder at the aware but naïve infant.

"Hear that, cutie? You're worth 10 million bells!"

"No, she is not," Zoro hissed. "You know very well she's worth more than that. I won't let anybody take her in to the damned Marines."

"Yeah, especially not for such a small price," Luffy teased. "Come on. We've got dreams to chase. If I'm going to be the Pirate King, I need the second biggest treasure in the world- and it's going to be in just one piece!"

Zoro followed Luffy up to the deck of the ship. They were setting sail for adventure yet unknown, but Zoro knew that the greatest adventure of his life was ever unfolding before his very eyes in the soul and arms of Monkey D. Luffy.

* * *

End Notes: And that's the end. I hope everyone enjoyed it, and please leave a review letting me know what you think!

That's it.

No, really. There totally won't be a sequel.

… Okay, I'm lying. There will.

**SNEAK PREVIEW:**

Coming soon to a page near you! **Action and adventure!**

"_Franky, I have a riddle for you," Zoro said, his voice bitingly cold. "What's three feet tall and not supposed to drink cola?"_

"_Aw, come on, Zoro-bro!" Franky rolled his eyes. "Will you just live a little-"_

"_Let me rephrase the question." Zoro drew one sword. "What is three feet tall, three years old, and not supposed to drink cola?"_

"_Zoro, the kid ain't gonna die over a little caffeine-" Brook had begun to back away from the table, chuckling nervously, as Zoro drew a second sword._

"_Let me rephrase the question!" Zoro snapped. "What is three feet tall, three years old, has green hair, and is not supposed to drink cola?"_

"_Let the girl have fun, she's not in any danger!" The third sword was in Zoro's mouth so fast Franky barely even saw his hand move._

"_One last try! What is three feet tall, three years old, has green hair, is not supposed to drink cola, and is hanging off of the goddamn rigging?!"_

"_Shit, Gilly!" Franky jumped up from the table and rushed onto the main deck, followed by armed-to-the-teeth Zoro and a strolling, whistling Brook. Sanji, Nami, and Robin were staring up at the crow's nest of the Thousand Sunny, where a small child was hanging off the rigging, giggling with glee and swinging around. Luffy was standing directly below her, calling out her name with an identical grin on his face. Roronoa D. Gilea was never one to miss out on an adventure. _

**Shocking surprises!**

"_Heh, Gilly's a smart one, huh? Too smart for her own good." Luffy untied her fluffy green hair, combing it out with his fingers. "Our girl's one of a kind, you know."_

_When Zoro looked up at him, he could see Luffy wasn't wearing his usual smile. "Something wrong?"_

**Danger and intrigue!**

_Gilly began to jump to try and see in the box, until the stranger woman caught her under the arms and lifted her up. "Thanks, lady!"_

"_Ensign Tashigi," she corrected Gilly. Gilly didn't react to Tashigi's title and identity, nor the voice of her father's other old Marine enemy._

"_There you are! Come on, we have business- oh?" Smoker was intrigued the same way Tashigi had been. "You make a friend?"_

**And… whatever this is!**

"_Let's see… seven-string Kabuto with two extra Flame Dials?" He tested the new rubber bands with one finger, and inserted a marble. He pulled the marble back and sent it flying at a target he'd pinned on the wall. The dials got turned around and scorched Usopp's face, and the marble ricocheted off the ceiling and floor and finally out the window to hit Franky in the sea-panties. Franky screamed in pain, dropped his guitar, began to dance around swatting his burning crotch, and Robin laughed at him. The marble rolled from where it had been embedded, and Franky quickly calculated what had happened._

"_Usopp! I'll kill you!"_

**The Straw Hat Pirates are moving on, but they have a new pirate in tow, and the Marines are hot on her trail! Look out for Treasure Hunters, coming this December!**

* * *

**Leave a review, let me know what you thought!**

**Thanks for reading, everybody!**

**~ Ezra the Blue**


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